Age you lost your virginity?

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#106
english_girl_900 said:
Yikes - this has gotten very serious.

Well, I'll come clean - I'm 21 and still a virgin. I am in no way waiting for marriage - my reasons are far more selfish. I just haven't been ready, in fact I'm still not really. I think sex is something that should happen in a relationship where there is mutual love, trust and respect. I have major trust issues (and I'm an OCD germaphobe which doesn't help) so its just not right for me at this time.

But the whole 'would you buy a car without test-driving it first?' is practically my motto. ;) People have to do what's right for them.
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I think that's great :smile: I had been with my ex for 2 years before we had sex, and it was important to me that it was a "real" relationship.
Stick with your beliefs, and be PROUD of them :love:
 
#107
I think it's so interesting that virginity is even still a subject on which to hinge one's moral values.

I can think of about 100 things off the top of my head that would make you a better person than something as arbitrary and intensely personal as whether or not you had sex before your wedding day.

But for the record, in case my daddy ever finds this thread by some act of God, I am pure as fresh snow.
 
#110
What the heck?

- If you already had sex, the wedding night won't be as special?
- To you, non virgins don't deserve to wear white?

I agree with Swedie, you have a long way to be a sex therapist and maybe need to experience it first. I'd prefer a sex therapist that actually know what the heck he/she is talking about.

Amanda, you clearly made your points and I agree with everything you had stated.
 
#111
lovebags said:
What the heck?

- If you already had sex, the wedding night won't be as special?
- To you, non virgins don't deserve to wear white?

I agree with Swedie, you have a long way to be a sex therapist and maybe need to experience it first. I'd prefer a sex therapist that actually know what the heck he/she is talking about.

Amanda, you clearly made your points and I agree with everything you had stated.
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I have already addressed all of the issues you brought up.

The deseving to wear white applies to me me me and only me. I said that I want to deserve to wear white, because in my set of morals for myself, I have to deserve that.
And yes, I feel that the wedding night won't be as special. Your first time is special and your first time as man and wife is special, so if both things occur at once, there's more special stuff going on there. If a person who was in their first olympics got married in Italy (just using this past olympics as an example) and then gave their virginity and had sex with their husband for the first time as man and wife, then their experience was special 3 times over. It was their first olympics, their first time having sex, and their first time having sex as a married couple. That would be even more special than having sex for the first time ever and having sex as man and wife for the first time.
And don't worry, by the time I try to go back to school to become a sex therapist, I'll hopefully be married with children.
 
#112
IntlSet said:
I think it's so interesting that virginity is even still a subject on which to hinge one's moral values.

I can think of about 100 things off the top of my head that would make you a better person than something as arbitrary and intensely personal as whether or not you had sex before your wedding day.

But for the record, in case my daddy ever finds this thread by some act of God, I am pure as fresh snow.
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I don't think it has anything to do with being a better person. I don't think that I'm better than a nonvirgin.
 
#114
amanda said:
it's not what you said, it's how you said it, and i can't help but get the impression that you're ignoring exactly what i'm trying to communicate to you. you can stand behind the supposed shield of opinion all you'd like, but real maturity means dealing with the implications of the things you say and opinions you hold, which you're not doing. you say you'd never share your opinion with a patient, but you seem unable to see exactly what you're communicating to us, so how do you know? i'm not the only one that was put off by your comments.

i know it's hard being young and having people dismiss you because of that; believe me, that's not what i'm doing, since i'm barely two years older than you myself. i'm a work in progress, as are you, but i admit that my opinions shouldn't be set in stone because i don't have all the facts yet and that i'm sometimes judgemental or insensative when i shouldn't be and i need to work on that. you seem like you're unwilling to admit that you need work. sometimes we do things that we don't mean to do or realize that we're doing, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened. please try and see that, for your own career's sake.
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Again, I'm sorry if you feel judged and that you were offended(<-dealing with the implications of the things I said.)

I have all the facts I need on this subject, and my opinion on it is set in stone. All I said was that I'm not thrilled with the fact that so many people in the world choose not to wait. There's no need to get riled up over my personal feelings. Especially since I never said that waiting is the right thing for everyone to do. If someone told me that they weren't happy with the fact that so many people choose to be/stay Catholic, I wouldn't tell them that they're judgemental and I wouldn't feel offended by them just because I'm Catholic. If a person said that they felt that rabbits are stupid, I wouldn't tell them that they're judgemental and get offended because I feel that rabbits are smart. Maybe I'd tell them that from my personal experience with my rabbits (who are litter trained and respond to commands), that I feel that they are smart, but I wouldn't tell the person that they're being judgemental of the rabbits I love more than life itself. Why should their feelings bug me so much?

Again, please just agree to disagree with me. I've addressed these issues repeatedly, and you'll never get me to bow down and say that I'm judgemental.
 
#116
allison said:
How can you be a sex therapist without even having sex? Wouldn't that be like an ice skating coach who has never skated?
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Please read my previous posts...I just said that by the time I become a sex therapist, I'll probably be married. I have said before that I'm going to be a biology teacher first (for a good long while) and will go back to school when my life is settled.
 
#117
northernbelle33 said:
Again, I'm sorry if you feel judged and that you were offended(<-dealing with the implications of the things I said.)

I have all the facts I need on this subject, and my opinion on it is set in stone. All I said was that I'm not thrilled with the fact that so many people in the world choose not to wait. There's no need to get riled up over my personal feelings. Especially since I never said that waiting is the right thing for everyone to do. If someone told me that they weren't happy with the fact that so many people choose to be/stay Catholic, I wouldn't tell them that they're judgemental and I wouldn't feel offended by them just because I'm Catholic. If a person said that they felt that rabbits are stupid, I wouldn't tell them that they're judgemental and get offended because I feel that rabbits are smart. Maybe I'd tell them that from my personal experience with my rabbits (who are litter trained and respond to commands), that I feel that they are smart, but I wouldn't tell the person that they're being judgemental of the rabbits I love more than life itself. Why should their feelings bug me so much?

Again, please just agree to disagree with me. I've addressed these issues repeatedly, and you'll never get me to bow down and say that I'm judgemental.
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i don't want you to bow down, i want you to deal with the truth, which you're not. i can't change that, and neither can anyone else here that feels the same way i do, but eventually someone will get through to you and you'll realize that doing so hurts you more than anyone. being unwilling to admit something about yourself doesn't mean it's not there, it just means that you're in denial. being unwilling to deal with the implications of the things you say and the feelings you hold in everyday interactions will only stunt your emotional growth.

maybe i should be the therapist.
 
#118
amanda said:
i don't want you to bow down, i want you to deal with the truth, which you're not. i can't change that, and neither can anyone else here that feels the same way i do, but eventually someone will get through to you and you'll realize that doing so hurts you more than anyone. being unwilling to admit something about yourself doesn't mean it's not there, it just means that you're in denial. being unwilling to deal with the implications of the things you say and the feelings you hold in everyday interactions will only stunt your emotional growth.

maybe i should be the therapist.
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Good post amanda ;)

And northern bell, I'm picking up my WHITE dress in just a couple of weeks and it has never occured to me that I wouldn't DESERVE to wear that. I mean, what the heck, what world are you living in?? It pisses me off that you're trying to offend me and other brides here. And no, you can't say that you're not, because you DO come across like you are.
 
#119
Another question I have about becoming a sex therapist is, how can you be a therapist when your morals are quite strict, compared to the norm in society now? What would you say to an unmarried couple who has kids and now are having problems in their sex life because one is cheating on the other?
 
#120
Swedie said:
Good post amanda ;)

And northern bell, I'm picking up my WHITE dress in just a couple of weeks and it has never occured to me that I wouldn't DESERVE to wear that. I mean, what the heck, what world are you living in?? It pisses me off that you're trying to offend me and other brides here. And no, you can't say that you're not, because you DO come across like you are.
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I have decided not to wear white at my wedding, not because I am not a virgin, but because the color white washed out my skin-tone!! My dress is a lovely ivory. I love you Swedie!! I know your white dress will be just gorgeous!!! Maybe we should pin 'fornicator' to the back of our dresses so no one gets the wrong idea???? :biggrin:
 
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