afraid of my future,... opinions needed

[tan2]

Well, I work just as hard as our other workers do; get paid just as much; get screwed over with the schedule just as much; AND get screamed at just as much. So yes, I do consider it a real job. There is not one HINT of nepotism at this job of mine. I'm a bit offended that you even insinuated that "it's not a real job", as you don't know me, nor what I do. Also, I AM standing on my own two feet and have been for quite some time; you were very presumptuous to say the things you did here.

i'm sorry if i offended you, i didnt mean to, i know i have no right to do that, as u've said, i dont know you, what you do, how you do your job, etc..
i just tried to give my opinion about working for parents. i know many ppl do that, without any nepotism, they r treated equaly, they even work harder than other workers n make a great contribution for the company. i guess u r one of those dedicated ppl *sorry again, if i'm wrong*. n i appreciate them. i'm sure your mother feels very proud & glad having you in her theather !

but for me working for my parents is just not a job i want *thats why i said "it's not a real job",i didnt mean to underestimate you at all*
for some reasons, i dont feel like working for my parents. i want to do my best to help them, n i wont feel i've done my best if they pay me *even its just a lil amount of money* for what i do for them. *just my thought n i'm not trying to influence anybody*

 

[tan2]

My life was totally different growing up. My father had all the money and when he left us (I was 14) we bare had enough to put me through school, especially since I couldn't get loans since he was unwilling to sign the divorse papers still (and his income was too great for me to get a loan.

I was the only girl I knew of my friends that did not get a driver's license at 16. My mother said, "when you have the money to buy yourself a car AND the insurance, then you can have a driver's license." She dropped me off at my University every day. Talk about sad... But I was the proudest person when I purchase a BRAND NEW car, paid in FULL. It was the sweetest satisfaction. For years afterwards, all I heard about were my friends whining about their car payments, etc...

It taught me so much. I plan ahead for what I want now, just like the car. Not getting it sooner, didn't kill me, when I got it I appreciated it so much more.

I wish I had wealthy parents. I had a business plan for my own company since I was about 20 but not money to back it up. It has taken me 10 years to finally get started on what I dreamed about for years! Since all you girls have parents that are willing to support you, why don't you use that to your advantage and theirs. Do you know how much I wished my mother could have backed my company up. That is how Vera Wang started.

Why not think about what you would love to do. Make a business plan and tell your parents "I don't want to live on your money forever. I would like to start my own business with your helkp. I am interested in importing.... shoes (whatever)." If I do the research will you help me finance it?"

I am sure they would jump at the chance to help you spread your wings and become independent and successful than to just keep buying you your handbags!

Good luck!! You all have a wonderful future ahead of you. Don't worry... rather use your energy and focus on how you will succeed on YOUR OWN, whether it's a job you want to get or an idea you want to execute. It will be the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. Dream big! But make sure to act on them!

thx a lot for sharing your great story & advice iliabags ,

my father has about the same story with you, my grandpa passed out when he just entered college, my grandma was a housewife who never worked at all, so it was a big shock for her. after my grandpa's death, there was almost no income at all, life was hard. after my father graduated, he started his own business from 0,with no money back up, he told me that it was really tough, n how he wished my grandpa was still alive so he could give him support. after years n years of hardworking, at last he could make good amount of money.

i think his story inspired me to work on my own, starting something without financial help from my parents. i always feel "my father could do it, why can't i?" but when i think realistic, it will be very hard due to my way of living now ..
i must start to change, or maybe i'd end up having my parents supporting me for my job..

 

[toiletduck]

tan2...don't you just love raiding your mom's closet?? i do!!

like a lot of the girls here i'm graduating in 2 months and like i mentioned before, it's a little scary. i know we'll all live thru this and come out ok, if not better than OK but the uncertainty is still there.

i grew up spoiled. both my parents had great childhoods and my mom was a daddy's little girl. HOWEVER, my grandfather grew up sleeping with cows, eating tree bark and waking up at 4am to walk to the next village for his job...oh and he had 1 year of education. my grandmother grew up with no education, running after cows for their dung to use as fuel and squatting in rice paddies all day. i know how i privileged i am. i never leave food on my plate because of them. but it's also because of them that i appreciate life and the great things that my parents have given me. yes, i'm spoiled because i was given a car on my 16th birthday...even before i got my license. i'm spoiled because i got my first prada bag at 11 and i didn't even know what prada was...nor did i care.

i grew up with no financial worries or cares...and never had to question whether or not i would be able to support myself. the fact that i grew up with all these great things will be my drive when i start working this fall. i won't be able to stand up on my own two feet just yet, but i know that in less than 5 years that i'll be able to.

i mentioned in my previous post that i won't be able to afford my lifestyle now...not just because of my spending habits. i live in a 3000 sq ft. flat in hong kong...if you have any idea about the housing market there, you will know that rent for a 800 sq. ft. flat is usually the same as one's salary. perhaps Tan2 and i share the same fears because we come from different upbringings and cultural backgrounds from the rest of you girls...
from my perspective, being dependent on ur parents for shelter or the occasional red pocket until u are married is no big deal. just because you aren't financially independent yet doesn't meant you won't and can't be.

 

[tan2]

You know, I was having exact same thoughts the other day! What would happen when I'm on my own? I live with my parents now and even though they haven't bought me a single piece of clothing, shoes, bags, etc. in more than 5 years now, they do pay for food, rent and other daily expenses. I worked full-time while going to school full-time for most of my college years and was able to support my habit that way. But when I get a job and move out, I'll have to think of rent, food, car payments, gas money, etc. on my own!!!!! It's just scary. That is why I never buy trendy stuff...in case I won't be able to afford another designer bag for a while, at least, I'll have my timeless LV Speedy and Chanel Classic Flap bag to last a LOOOOONG time!

yes, its very scary when you have to pay everything by yourself ush:, not only that in the future you also have to save up but for house, children, business, n other important stuffs *i guess bags will be on the bottom list..*
i agree w u about not buying trendy stuff, we can say its a lifetime investment

 

[tan2]

I hate having the feeling that I owe people something whether they just treat me out for lunch or what not. I always stick money back into their pockets or give them a gift later on.

You will feel teh satisfaction of spending the money you earn. Good luck!

thx, kathyrose ,
i hate that feeling too,
thats one of the reason why i dont want to work for my parents, coz i already feel i owe them a lot *even though i know they're happy to "spoilt" me, n i always try to do my best to make them proud*, after i graduate, its time to pay em back. i hope i wont need to accept anything from em anymore

 

[tan2]

tan2...don't you just love raiding your mom's closet?? i do!!

like a lot of the girls here i'm graduating in 2 months and like i mentioned before, it's a little scary. i know we'll all live thru this and come out ok, if not better than OK but the uncertainty is still there.

i grew up spoiled. both my parents had great childhoods and my mom was a daddy's little girl. HOWEVER, my grandfather grew up sleeping with cows, eating tree bark and waking up at 4am to walk to the next village for his job...oh and he had 1 year of education. my grandmother grew up with no education, running after cows for their dung to use as fuel and squatting in rice paddies all day. i know how i privileged i am. i never leave food on my plate because of them. but it's also because of them that i appreciate life and the great things that my parents have given me. yes, i'm spoiled because i was given a car on my 16th birthday...even before i got my license. i'm spoiled because i got my first prada bag at 11 and i didn't even know what prada was...nor did i care.

i grew up with no financial worries or cares...and never had to question whether or not i would be able to support myself. the fact that i grew up with all these great things will be my drive when i start working this fall. i won't be able to stand up on my own two feet just yet, but i know that in less than 5 years that i'll be able to.

i mentioned in my previous post that i won't be able to afford my lifestyle now...not just because of my spending habits. i live in a 3000 sq ft. flat in hong kong...if you have any idea about the housing market there, you will know that rent for a 800 sq. ft. flat is usually the same as one's salary. perhaps Tan2 and i share the same fears because we come from different upbringings and cultural backgrounds from the rest of you girls...
from my perspective, being dependent on ur parents for shelter or the occasional red pocket until u are married is no big deal. just because you aren't financially independent yet doesn't meant you won't and can't be.

YES, i love to do that too, .. my mom often shout at me coz i move some of her stuffs to my own closet n consider em mine

i know its ok being dependent on parents for shelter n get red pocket from them b4 i get married, but like u've said, the uncertainty about the future is always there...

btw, good luck for your coming job, toiletduck!

 

[Lanbanan]

Im very thankful my parents put me through university and I have no student debt, unlike others in my course who have £10,000 worth of debt. I am not dependant on my parents for luxurious things, although they did but my first LV bag for my 23rd birthday. I dont indulge as much as I would like, but the future does worry me regarding buying my own house and the financial implications of that!

 

[luckycharm06]

Gosh..I read your thread and thought.."That is me!"
I am about to graduate in June (5th year..finally!) and I am scared to death. What if I can't get a job? What if I hate moving back home? What if I want to go back to school? What if all of my friends are more successful than me? What if I don't make any money...or worse, hate my job???

All I know is...there are no guarantees in life. My mom keeps reminding me to enjoy the journey and not worry too much about the destination. *fingers crossed*

 

[Selena]

We have this talk with my kids alot. We tell them that at some point we will not be able to keep them in the lifestyle they have become used to. You will have lean years....that is why you should take care of the bags you have and make sure you only spend $$$ on purses that you will be happy with for years. I remember when I got out on my own. I had to eat cereal for dinner everynight to save for the indulgences that I wanted. It was so worth it. I really valued everthing I got. You will be fine. Things will definately be different but different in a good way!
Good luck
Selena