2025 Resolution: Shopping my own Bag and SLG Collection

[papertiger]

Do wet want some new challenges in August?

How about wearing one non-black neutral per week (whatever is a neutral for you)

 

[Bag peace]

I'm sorry, I'm mass-quoting everyone as I get caught up.
I debated replying in different posts but it'll clog up the thread. I hope this isn't too annoying!

In my defense, I fell off a mountain while hiking Jan 1, and have been slowly recovering - a lot more slowly than I used to.

Oh no! I hope you're doing better now. Take it easy!

I wanted to add a functional burgundy bag to my collection and thought this vintage Cartier bag would be perfect for my tattoo experiment.

Gorgeous! I can't wait to see how this turns out!

Firstly, at the end of every month, I am thankful that my very sick Mother is still alive-I have seen a lot of her, and intend to maintain this.

Every day is a gift!

I think I may be stress-shopping. I just want to get away.

I'm so sorry. You're enduring all this with such grace and strength. Please know that we're here for you and wishing with all our might for the best possible outcome.

Just seen the update on your cat! I hope he continues to get better and doesn't need a trip to the vet's.

I am happy to have it and am already using it.

Yes, here it is!

Great wallet! I love how everything you add, be it a blazer or a wallet, is always aligned with your personal style.
Love the pups as well, of course! Thanks for the cute photo!

my lovely mother-in-law, gifted me a bag for the Lunar New Year.

Oh I haven't seen a Bao Bao in real life for ages! Such a nice gift. I hope you'll enjoy carrying it.

Bags In: 2, details below

Wonderful additions! Enjoy in good health.

I have thrown out or donated mountains of stuff. I did rotate my bags quite a bit. Really like what I have now.
I read three books in January.

Amazing stats! Glad you're really happy with your collection.

And thank you for the suggestion of adding an extra snap closure to my vintage bags! It worked out great!

This is my new Portland Leather Goods bag.

Stunning! Such a gorgeous colour! Wear it in good health!

January Update: Intentions, Challenges, and Stats

Great stats! Have you had much chance to carry the tie-dye Chanel? I saw someone carrying it in the wild and it was really pretty! it seems like such a happy bag!

For others, here is the link (opening to a denim bag that I am considering for summer)

Thanks for the link! These look like such fun bags!

 

[papertiger]

Quick update for now. January was a busy month. I moved and then quickly ended up in hospital with bronchitis (all better now). Just need to settle into the new space.

Been using the Coccinelle bag my siblings gifted me as a daily bag all month. Love how functional it is and haven't felt the need to use anything else. Will try to use others in Feb.

Was very tempted to buy myself a purple crossbody on sale but talked myself out of it because I knew I was just sad and wanted to self-soothe. I did a thing that I thought would be great but ended up being a personal disaster.

Spoiler: personal update

Over the years, people on here have mentioned that I can volunteer with support groups to share the story of my accident and resulting disfigurement, as it may provide an opportunity to uplift others in similar situations.
Well, I found a support group to join and arranged to go. It was a lovely, extremely diverse group, with a range of visible and invisible issues, which made for a really informative experience. However, I left the meeting broken.
We shared our stories in turn and then asked each other questions about life with our condition. People didn't ask me questions but they did comment on my experience and appearance. The group leader didn't really stop anyone from being mean, so once one person was cruel, everyone kind of followed.
One person said that if a car hit her, she hoped she would die on the spot rather than walk around with a face like mine. It's not the first time I've heard this, but it broke my heart all over again. Another person said she felt sorry for me because I'd never have a husband looking like that, which was rather condescending; and another just kept turning her face away from me and couldn't muster up even a quick glance. I felt like I disgusted her. It was all...disheartening.
I don't think I managed to bring anything of value to the group, but I left with a newfound knowledge about a lot of conditions that I was previously unaware of, and the hardships of life with said conditions. I'm grateful for that, though it's fair to say I won't ever partake in an activity like this one again. I'm too sensitive to not let it break me down.

On a heavier note, I have a friend who is dying from stage 4 cancer that has metastasized (estimated to have merely weeks left) and another friend whose father is dying from kidney failure...and I'm in a constant state of stress and panic. I don't want to rely on retail therapy to get through this. I'm trying to practice meditation and give these people my full support as we navigate the dark days ahead. Life can be so cruel.

No goals for Feb, besides pulling out a couple of my bags to rotate, and giving my people (including my lovely mum) as much love and care as I can.

Now to catch up on the thread and see how everyone's doing.

So sorry People say the weirdest things. You are truly a resilient and inspirational human being

 

[Bag peace]

So sorry People say the weirdest things.

They really do! I should add that they didn't really help each other out in any way, either, so while I (unintentionally) only focused on the comments I received, I genuinely don't recall anyone saying anything kind within the group. They all seemed to be judging everyone else's condition.
Even the ones asking questions seemed to be doing it out of a morbid curiosity rather than a place of concern and empathy. It was an uncomfortable experience.

I wonder if maybe the group leader not being emotionally invested has set the tone for the rest of the group; or maybe people are so upset about the cards they've been dealt that they're gaining some sort of pleasure from seeing others worse off? I don't know but it was a very negative experience all around.

Anyway, apologies for going off on a tangent. Thank you for always being so kind, PT! You're always so wonderful! Keeping you and hubs in my thoughts.

Edit: And perhaps worst of all, nobody was carrying a pretty bag! Everyone came with a reusable shopping tote! Some nice eye-candy would have offset the negative vibes, but alas, it wasn't to be!

 

[whateve]

They really do! I should add that they didn't really help each other out in any way, either, so while I (unintentionally) only focused on the comments I received, I genuinely don't recall anyone saying anything kind within the group. They all seemed to be judging everyone else's condition.
Even the ones asking questions seemed to be doing it out of a morbid curiosity rather than a place of concern and empathy. It was an uncomfortable experience.

I wonder if maybe the group leader not being emotionally invested has set the tone for the rest of the group; or maybe people are so upset about the cards they've been dealt that they're gaining some sort of pleasure from seeing others worse off? I don't know but it was a very negative experience all around.

Anyway, apologies for going off on a tangent. Thank you for always being so kind, PT! You're always so wonderful! Keeping you and hubs in my thoughts.

Edit: And perhaps worst of all, nobody was carrying a pretty bag! Everyone came with a reusable shopping tote! Some nice eye-candy would have offset the negative vibes, but alas, it wasn't to be!

It makes no sense but I guess you are right that they are reveling in someone being worse off than themselves. By putting you down, they think they are lifting themselves up. Maybe it is because they haven't accepted their conditions yet. That's why they are in a support group. They are still angry at what life has dealt them.

I hope there are people, even strangers, who are kind to you. You certainly deserve to be treated like a human being. Your feelings count just as much as anyone else. I can't imagine ever saying something to intentionally hurt someone I didn't know. I would hope that most people would feel the same.

 

[Bag peace]

Maybe it is because they haven't accepted their conditions yet. That's why they are in a support group. They are still angry at what life has dealt them.

Such a good point! Thank you! That is why they're in a support group, so this makes sense. I had different expectations going in, with it being a support group and all, so it resulted in disappointment.
At any rate, I hope they find peace and empathy as they come to terms with their respective situations. Life is hard enough without carrying around bitterness over things we cannot control or change.

You made me realise that I should also work on being more accepting and understanding of their actions, instead of being focused on my hurt feelings. It seems this really is a huge learning experience for me, in ways I didn't notice until now. Thank you for helping me see the other side of it.

I hope there are people, even strangers, who are kind to you. You certainly deserve to be treated like a human being. Your feelings count just as much as anyone else. I can't imagine ever saying something to intentionally hurt someone I didn't know. I would hope that most people would feel the same.

Thank you so much, @whateve. That's incredibly kind of you!

Well, I've honestly had both extremes. Many of my closest friends have hurt me with comments, so it's not always strangers who are emboldened to act this way. However, many, many others have stood by me and been kind to the extent that I feel unworthy of it and guilty for being the recipient of that kind of care.
The kind of support I get on his thread, for instance, has often left me shedding tears of gratitude because I know I don't bring as much to the table as the rest of you do, and yet you always make me feel welcome.
I've also had a lot of kind people cross my path in real life, so it always balances out the negative experiences.
So, I do think most people are intrinsically good and kind, but it's just my sensitivity that amplifies the negative moments and makes it harder for me to shake off the odd meanie that I come across. That's something I ought to work on!

 

[Sparkletastic]

Such a good point! Thank you! That is why they're in a support group, so this makes sense. I had different expectations going in, with it being a support group and all, so it resulted in disappointment.
At any rate, I hope they find peace and empathy as they come to terms with their respective situations. Life is hard enough without carrying around bitterness over things we cannot control or change.

You made me realise that I should also work on being more accepting and understanding of their actions, instead of being focused on my hurt feelings. It seems this really is a huge learning experience for me, in ways I didn't notice until now. Thank you for helping me see the other side of it.


Thank you so much, @whateve. That's incredibly kind of you!

Well, I've honestly had both extremes. Many of my closest friends have hurt me with comments, so it's not always strangers who are emboldened to act this way. However, many, many others have stood by me and been kind to the extent that I feel unworthy of it and guilty for being the recipient of that kind of care.
The kind of support I get on his thread, for instance, has often left me shedding tears of gratitude because I know I don't bring as much to the table as the rest of you do, and yet you always make me feel welcome.
I've also had a lot of kind people cross my path in real life, so it always balances out the negative experiences.
So, I do think most people are intrinsically good and kind, but it's just my sensitivity that amplifies the negative moments and makes it harder for me to shake off the odd meanie that I come across. That's something I ought to work on!

Dear Heart - there is so much packed into these last few posts of yours.

My response when someone I care for is hurt is to go into full warrior mode and quite honestly, if I were there with you physically, I would contact the group leader and have a very stern conversation with them about how they exhibited poor leadership and that you would be getting an apology from them. Then (if visitors were allowed) I would take you back to the group where the leader would (based on our prearranged agreement) apologize to you in front of the group and lay out new rules that require respect and consideration for all. I’m so angry about this, I’d want to dismantle the building brick by brick. You are such a kind yet strong soul and you deserve nothing but gentle care from all.

I also have to take issue when you say you don’t bring “as much to the table” as others (????) on tPF. Please banish those thoughts as you are a cherished and valued member of this community. You may very well be the best of us all - how could we know as we exist here only as screen names, anecdotes and pretty bags. So, make the happy presumption and consider yourself amongst our best.

And no, most people aren’t sensitive and kind - many are evil by their action and even more are evil by their inaction. So you are not being overly sensitive. Trust your emotions as signals of safety. As a gentle spirit, you are right to only keep yourself in places where others are considerate of you.

I’d encourage you to not stop your efforts to find community elsewhere. While there are yucky people, there are many good ones still. You deserve to be loved on and have your kindness reciprocated.

But, know as you continue on your journey wherever it takes you, you are safe here.

 

[Sparkletastic]

On a very different topic:

Since 2020, I’ve felt very much in a jumble in regards to how I spend my personal time. Covid, job and city changes, new homes, children leaving and semi returning to the nest, surgeries, changes in social activities, etc. have all meant I’m not in a satisfying personal routine.

I can’t take it any more so, I’ve decided to focus on just a very few enjoyable and edifying activities. I don’t want to feel like I’m “burning daylight” and I want to stop spending time focused on handbags (and jewelry and social media and…)

One of the things I’ve started is to dedicate time and resources to becoming proficient in languages. My father’s family is French so I’ve just signed up with a tutor to help me quickly gain greater proficiency in that language. We’ll meet 3x/week and I’ll have homework the other 4 days as well.

As part of this effort, I’ve also decided to divert any more handbag spending for 2025 into two structured immersive trips to French speaking countries. My first will be in a few months to France for 3 weeks where I’ll have classes in the morning, and planned activities in the evening (and hopefully also see family while I’m there. The second will be 2-3 weeks in another French speaking country (I’m hoping somewhere in the African continent) I’m excited and a teeny bit intimidated by this goal.

But, if not now… when? I know this will help me professionally and personally. And I’m not at all upset that it will help get control of my handbag obsessing.

 

[880]

Quick update for now. January was a busy month. I moved and then quickly ended up in hospital with bronchitis (all better now). Just need to settle into the new space.

Been using the Coccinelle bag my siblings gifted me as a daily bag all month. Love how functional it is and haven't felt the need to use anything else. Will try to use others in Feb.

Was very tempted to buy myself a purple crossbody on sale but talked myself out of it because I knew I was just sad and wanted to self-soothe. I did a thing that I thought would be great but ended up being a personal disaster.

Spoiler: personal update

Over the years, people on here have mentioned that I can volunteer with support groups to share the story of my accident and resulting disfigurement, as it may provide an opportunity to uplift others in similar situations.
Well, I found a support group to join and arranged to go. It was a lovely, extremely diverse group, with a range of visible and invisible issues, which made for a really informative experience. However, I left the meeting broken.
We shared our stories in turn and then asked each other questions about life with our condition. People didn't ask me questions but they did comment on my experience and appearance. The group leader didn't really stop anyone from being mean, so once one person was cruel, everyone kind of followed.
One person said that if a car hit her, she hoped she would die on the spot rather than walk around with a face like mine. It's not the first time I've heard this, but it broke my heart all over again. Another person said she felt sorry for me because I'd never have a husband looking like that, which was rather condescending; and another just kept turning her face away from me and couldn't muster up even a quick glance. I felt like I disgusted her. It was all...disheartening.
I don't think I managed to bring anything of value to the group, but I left with a newfound knowledge about a lot of conditions that I was previously unaware of, and the hardships of life with said conditions. I'm grateful for that, though it's fair to say I won't ever partake in an activity like this one again. I'm too sensitive to not let it break me down.

On a heavier note, I have a friend who is dying from stage 4 cancer that has metastasized (estimated to have merely weeks left) and another friend whose father is dying from kidney failure...and I'm in a constant state of stress and panic. I don't want to rely on retail therapy to get through this. I'm trying to practice meditation and give these people my full support as we navigate the dark days ahead. Life can be so cruel.

No goals for Feb, besides pulling out a couple of my bags to rotate, and giving my people (including my lovely mum) as much love and care as I can.

Now to catch up on the thread and see how everyone's doing.

Cannot say it better than @papertiger , @whateve, @Sparkletastic . You have us in your corner.
Schadenfreude will come back to haunt them. It’s just karma

 

[DME]

Their behavior is cruel. You are a lovely person. Don’t lose sight of that. Hugs!

I’m sorry to hear about your friend with cancer and the father of your other friend with kidney failure. Hang in there and don’t forget to take care of you while you support those close to you through dark days.

 

[Bag peace]

I’ve just signed up with a tutor to help me quickly gain greater proficiency in that language. We’ll meet 3x/week and I’ll have homework the other 4 days as well.

This is an amazing idea! What a brilliant way to spend your time! The immersive trips will be wonderful, I'm sure. I can't wait for you to post all about your experience!
And thank you for your advice and support.

@880 and @DME Thank you both so much!
___

I've been trying to upload an updated picture of my bag collection but the forum still isn't allowing me to post pics. I'll need to sort that out so that I can share. Mr. Grumpy has come out to play for Feb and I'd forgotten what a goofy bag this is. Hopefully will upload a new pic soon.

 

[dcooney4]

They really do! I should add that they didn't really help each other out in any way, either, so while I (unintentionally) only focused on the comments I received, I genuinely don't recall anyone saying anything kind within the group. They all seemed to be judging everyone else's condition.
Even the ones asking questions seemed to be doing it out of a morbid curiosity rather than a place of concern and empathy. It was an uncomfortable experience.

I wonder if maybe the group leader not being emotionally invested has set the tone for the rest of the group; or maybe people are so upset about the cards they've been dealt that they're gaining some sort of pleasure from seeing others worse off? I don't know but it was a very negative experience all around.

Anyway, apologies for going off on a tangent. Thank you for always being so kind, PT! You're always so wonderful! Keeping you and hubs in my thoughts.

Edit: And perhaps worst of all, nobody was carrying a pretty bag! Everyone came with a reusable shopping tote! Some nice eye-candy would have offset the negative vibes, but alas, it wasn't to be!

What an awful group of people. I am glad you didn't go back. You are a wonderful person. No bags, the horror! Hugs!

 

[dcooney4]

On a very different topic:

Since 2020, I’ve felt very much in a jumble in regards to how I spend my personal time. Covid, job and city changes, new homes, children leaving and semi returning to the nest, surgeries, changes in social activities, etc. have all meant I’m not in a satisfying personal routine.

I can’t take it any more so, I’ve decided to focus on just a very few enjoyable and edifying activities. I don’t want to feel like I’m “burning daylight” and I want to stop spending time focused on handbags (and jewelry and social media and…)

One of the things I’ve started is to dedicate time and resources to becoming proficient in languages. My father’s family is French so I’ve just signed up with a tutor to help me quickly gain greater proficiency in that language. We’ll meet 3x/week and I’ll have homework the other 4 days as well.

As part of this effort, I’ve also decided to divert any more handbag spending for 2025 into two structured immersive trips to French speaking countries. My first will be in a few months to France for 3 weeks where I’ll have classes in the morning, and planned activities in the evening (and hopefully also see family while I’m there. The second will be 2-3 weeks in another French speaking country (I’m hoping somewhere in the African continent) I’m excited and a teeny bit intimidated by this goal.

But, if not now… when? I know this will help me professionally and personally. And I’m not at all upset that it will help get control of my handbag obsessing.

That is a wonderful idea.

 

[dcooney4]

I don't think I will ever stop loving bags, it is just my thing. It has been a great distraction through the toughest of times. Too much death around me and illness. I know I am not the only one. I like Sparkletastic idea of doing things and planning for the future, rather than dwelling on the negative. I am going to start thinking a bit more about what I really want out of life and start working towards it. Though in my case bags will always be a part of the fun.

 

[Sparkletastic]

I don't think I will ever stop loving bags, it is just my thing. It has been a great distraction through the toughest of times. Too much death around me and illness. I know I am not the only one. I like Sparkletastic idea of doing things and planning for the future, rather than dwelling on the negative. I am going to start thinking a bit more about what I really want out of life and start working towards it. Though in my case bags will always be a part of the fun.

I’m so sorry you’ve had so many challenges in your life. I hope many better things are ahead.

And I understand about your bags. They’re one of my hobbies more so than a “curated collection.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We get to enjoy what we love.

(I just was tipping over into some bad habits. Eek!)

 

[Sparkletastic]

I just got a consignment quote on the bag I have up for sale (the brown Prada.) I purchased it at a great price so I could get 50% more in proceeds selling it myself. But, I’m so not in the mood to deal with selling right now so off it goes.

So, that means I now only need to decide the fate of just two bags - one of which is my Fendi floral tube WOC. I have worn this a LOT and it’s well loved. As a result, it has some scratches that can’t be fixed due to its metallic finish. I don’t think they’re overly visible but I do have concern I may look shabby wearing it now. I suspect the bag has limited resale value with the scratches (??) so as irritating as it is, I think my only choice is to keep it around while I passively look for a replacement.

I haven’t seen any interesting silver WOC in the market. Let me know if you have a suggestion.