Do wet want some new challenges in August?
How about wearing one non-black neutral per week (whatever is a neutral for you)
How about wearing one non-black neutral per week (whatever is a neutral for you)
2025 Resolution: Shopping my own Bag and SLG Collection
- Thread starter papertiger
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The fact that you're even thinking about what you want is a step in the right direction. Life can be so overwhelmingly negative despite our best efforts to continue moving forward. I admire that you're using this as momentum. In light of current political circumstances ( I'm Canadian), it's been tough to keep things going. I feel a bit spun out ; however, having an emotional toolbox helps. Bags are a big part of the fun as we're also here to enjoy our lives. Thanks for sharing.
Quick update for now. January was a busy month. I moved and then quickly ended up in hospital with bronchitis (all better now). Just need to settle into the new space.
Been using the Coccinelle bag my siblings gifted me as a daily bag all month. Love how functional it is and haven't felt the need to use anything else. Will try to use others in Feb.
Was very tempted to buy myself a purple crossbody on sale but talked myself out of it because I knew I was just sad and wanted to self-soothe. I did a thing that I thought would be great but ended up being a personal disaster.
Over the years, people on here have mentioned that I can volunteer with support groups to share the story of my accident and resulting disfigurement, as it may provide an opportunity to uplift others in similar situations.
Well, I found a support group to join and arranged to go. It was a lovely, extremely diverse group, with a range of visible and invisible issues, which made for a really informative experience. However, I left the meeting broken.
We shared our stories in turn and then asked each other questions about life with our condition. People didn't ask me questions but they did comment on my experience and appearance. The group leader didn't really stop anyone from being mean, so once one person was cruel, everyone kind of followed.
One person said that if a car hit her, she hoped she would die on the spot rather than walk around with a face like mine. It's not the first time I've heard this, but it broke my heart all over again. Another person said she felt sorry for me because I'd never have a husband looking like that, which was rather condescending; and another just kept turning her face away from me and couldn't muster up even a quick glance. I felt like I disgusted her. It was all...disheartening.
I don't think I managed to bring anything of value to the group, but I left with a newfound knowledge about a lot of conditions that I was previously unaware of, and the hardships of life with said conditions. I'm grateful for that, though it's fair to say I won't ever partake in an activity like this one again. I'm too sensitive to not let it break me down.
On a heavier note, I have a friend who is dying from stage 4 cancer that has metastasized (estimated to have merely weeks left) and another friend whose father is dying from kidney failure...and I'm in a constant state of stress and panic. I don't want to rely on retail therapy to get through this. I'm trying to practice meditation and give these people my full support as we navigate the dark days ahead. Life can be so cruel.
No goals for Feb, besides pulling out a couple of my bags to rotate, and giving my people (including my lovely mum) as much love and care as I can.
Now to catch up on the thread and see how everyone's doing.
I am so sorry to hear that you were treated in such a dehumanizing way, especially in a space that is meant to be safe. I completely understand your decision not to return. We're here for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. The past couple of years appear to have been tough on you.
It's wonderful to start focusing on more positive pursuits. Hopefully it's the start of a happier chapter.
I don't think you'd look scruffy with the Fendi since it seems to be in great shape and people won't notice surface scratches when you wear it. However, I understand that may be something that bothers you because you know they're there. I wonder if the Bvlgari WOCs are your style? They tend to be very polished looking and have a lot of structure, which I know is important to you. They're also quite unique and would fit in well with your collection, I'd think.
Such great advice! I wonder, what's in your emotional toolbox, if you don't mind sharing?
I've got a small morning and afternoon ritual going of having a cup of coffee (morning) and tea (afternoon) in total silence and in the fresh air. That little 20 minutes just savouring my drink and breathing has helped a lot with my emotional regulation.
A little gentle exercise also helps with working off any anxious energy, as does taking my bags out and cleaning/conditioning them.
In certain lighting I think the scratches may be quite visible but I’m not sure.
I said I don’t know what bag to get but I actually do like the Dior Mini bag. I just think the price of $2850 USD is ridiculous. It’s pretty but not at all unique. And I already own 6 Dior bags with the cannage quilting.
I took a look at the Bulgari. Thanks for the recommendation! I do really like their bags but I don’t see one in silver that isn’t the shiny / mirror / almost patent leather metallic and I prefer a finish more like my Fendi or the above Dior.
The Dior is certainly very pretty!
On a very different topic:
Since 2020, I’ve felt very much in a jumble in regards to how I spend my personal time. Covid, job and city changes, new homes, children leaving and semi returning to the nest, surgeries, changes in social activities, etc. have all meant I’m not in a satisfying personal routine.
I can’t take it any more so, I’ve decided to focus on just a very few enjoyable and edifying activities. I don’t want to feel like I’m “burning daylight” and I want to stop spending time focused on handbags (and jewelry and social media and…)
One of the things I’ve started is to dedicate time and resources to becoming proficient in languages. My father’s family is French so I’ve just signed up with a tutor to help me quickly gain greater proficiency in that language. We’ll meet 3x/week and I’ll have homework the other 4 days as well.
As part of this effort, I’ve also decided to divert any more handbag spending for 2025 into two structured immersive trips to French speaking countries. My first will be in a few months to France for 3 weeks where I’ll have classes in the morning, and planned activities in the evening (and hopefully also see family while I’m there. The second will be 2-3 weeks in another French speaking country (I’m hoping somewhere in the African continent) I’m excited and a teeny bit intimidated by this goal.
But, if not now… when? I know this will help me professionally and personally. And I’m not at all upset that it will help get control of my handbag obsessing.
I love this so much.
I have a feeling there are quite a few of us on this thread alone that want to improve our French.
My mother used to live in France, and I can follow what people say. It's more the speaking I find more difficult.
Everyone learns in different ways, but I have a tip if you want to take it. Read anything in French for 10 minutes a day or more even if it's just a French (food) menu. It will acclimatise you before you go and really help with grammar.
I'm so up and down, I honestly can't see, feel or think about the future. Today is the only day that matters.
I think bags, clothes, jewellery (I have already) are great distraction, including preparing, repairing, donating etc. I need order right now. I am not an OCD person, although I know this kind of thinking can be part of it. I know what OCD is, my grandmother (brought-up in an orphanage) had it to a clinical level.
Bags are fun for me too. They give me a thrill with my everyday (or evening) outfit, and I want to look after them in return.
I've been around the World a few times, the only continent I haven't been to is Antarctica. I used to live in the Norwegian Arctic. Even though it would probably do me good, the thought of a big adventure right now makes me feel anxious. The little chores I need to tick through everyday trick me into thinking I have some control over life. It's hard to know what matters. Sometimes everything does and sometimes nothing.
I just got a consignment quote on the bag I have up for sale (the brown Prada.) I purchased it at a great price so I could get 50% more in proceeds selling it myself. But, I’m so not in the mood to deal with selling right now so off it goes.
So, that means I now only need to decide the fate of just two bags - one of which is my Fendi floral tube WOC. View attachment 6126418I have worn this a LOT and it’s well loved.As a result, it has some scratches that can’t be fixed due to its metallic finish. I don’t think they’re overly visible but I do have concern I may look shabby wearing it now. I suspect the bag has limited resale value with the scratches (??) so as irritating as it is, I think my only choice is to keep it around while I passively look for a replacement.
I haven’t seen any interesting silver WOC in the market. Let me know if you have a suggestion.
Lovely bag. I honestly would never think 'shabby' looking at that pretty WOC.
My light gold mirror leather Gucci Romy Clutch (almost looks silver) has acquired a very slight bloom. No one would know. Only I know because it's just not quite as mirror shiny as it once was.
I think light metallics are quite forgiving because they reflect light brightly and you're moving most of the time carrying it. Funnily enough, bronze and gunmetal show 'blemishes' more easily, but then those grungy, rock 'n' roll colours also can accommodate them.
Thanks for the suggestion. I learn better with visual aids than auditory so this is a great tip for me! Along with the leasons, I’m listening to lessons on Audible when I drive or do chores, put French subtitles on my TV (when available) for passive learning and replaced mindless time on TikTok & Facebook with time on the Babbel app.(I put 15 min per day timers on each of those social media apps. When that time is done, the app locks and I use any remaining time I would have wasted on SM more productively on a French lesson of some sort.)
This may sound like a lot but it’s really not at all because I’m replacing “dead” times with something I’m enjoying. And it’s surprising how 10 min here or 20 min there that I would have wasted is helping me make bits of progress.
I want to gain a decent level of proficiency before my immersion travel so that money and time is well spent. I tried listening to a French podcast for beginners yesterday and was completely lost. So, baby steps!
You have enough challenge in your life right now. So, it makes sense that you would want order and to live fully in the present. I’m glad you’re caring for yourself. We’re here for you too!
I've learned a lot of Spanish just by living in California. A lot of the signs are in Spanish. We get advertisements in the mail and on TV in Spanish. Sometimes there is a TV in a restaurant or doctor's office tuned to a Spanish speaking station and I try to figure out what they are saying. I'm not good with languages but DH is even worse.Thanks for the suggestion. I learn better with visual aids than auditory so this is a great tip for me! Along with the leasons, I’m listening to lessons on Audible when I drive or do chores, put French subtitles on my TV (when available) for passive learning and replaced mindless time on TikTok & Facebook with time on the Babbel app.(I put 15 min per day timers on each of those social media apps. When that time is done, the app locks and I use any remaining time I would have wasted on SM more productively on a French lesson of some sort.)
This may sound like a lot but it’s really not at all because I’m replacing “dead” times with something I’m enjoying. And it’s surprising how 10 min here or 20 min there that I would have wasted is helping me make bits of progress.
I want to gain a decent level of proficiency before my immersion travel so that money and time is well spent. I tried listening to a French podcast for beginners yesterday and was completely lost. So, baby steps!
You have enough challenge in your life right now. So, it makes sense that you would want order and to live fully in the present. I’m glad you’re caring for yourself. We’re here for you too!
I took French in high school. Sometimes I get French and Spanish mixed up in my mind.
Hang on in there..❤️we are ALL here for you.