Thank you all!
Sparkle, display choices are based on ease of access largely. If I’m doubling up (one bag row laid on another), I make sure I use dust bags and padding, and that the lower bags are ‘smooshy’ enough to not mind another row.
2019 resolution - shopping my own bag and wallet collection. Any one else?
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Thank you all!
Sparkle, display choices are based on ease of access largely. If I’m doubling up (one bag row laid on another), I make sure I use dust bags and padding, and that the lower bags are ‘smooshy’ enough to not mind another row.
This cracked me up... pretty much my situation as well!
Even when we head three hours north to The Big City, where you'd think it would be dressier, I'm constantly shocked at what people think is appropriate clothing to wear to the opera. The Hubster and I always look nice but I've actually seen men there in shorts, and women in leggings!
My 2nd daughter in 2 years is getting married. You just convinced me that although she is doing formal black tie at her event, I really don’t need a Chanel evening bag for the big day [emoji23]
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Actually I'm not going to inherit anything. My grandparents on my father's side had nothing. He was supporting them. My grandparents on my mother's side left everything to their children. My parents had some financial downturns. There were some recessions. They spent everything they had just to live at the end. My father left everything to my sister. (That still hurts.) There wasn't much there and she was living with him at the time, so either he did it because he thought she needed it more or in appreciation for her taking care of him at the end.OMG! This drives me crazy. I get being “comfortable” but, nice looking clothes are comfortable too. I don’t get how people will wear anything anywhere.
I was at the nail salon yesterday. A woman came in wearing a onesie pajama outfit similar to this except it wasn’t even festive. It was grey and black stripes. Her feet were stuffed into stained Uggs.
She looked ridiculous. There is no excuse for coming out looking like this. If you have the money to get your nails done you don’t have to wear stained shoes. You can also get a pair of jeans and a hoodie or sweater.
Also, Mr. S & I went out on Friday night. We’re still exploring our new city because we lost so much time with me having three surgeries and massive thyroid issues over the spring and summer. So we went to 4 different upscale bar / restaurants. All were listed in the city magazine as some of the top ones. People were dressed like they were going to dig potatoes. Casual is one thing but adult women in tobaggan caps and guys in plaid shirt over graphic T’s... at “nice” locations??? C’mon!!! There is nice casual. But there is also cocktail wear, date night wear, dinner wear. These categories do exist and don’t require anyone to wear a corset or a dinner jacket. Sheesh!
Again I say, Argh!
I think a lot of this is economic advantage and cultural on a family level. I was taught to save and invest my by parents via role modeling. I think they may have mentioned it once or twice. But it was such a strong part of our family culture that I picked it up without much tutelage or active encouragement. So, I’m big on saving and investing.
In contrast, Mr. S’s family has never saved. They were lower middle class and didn’t have much to save. Income from both parents working just covered bills for a household with 5 kids. So there wasn’t opportunity. No fault of theirs. You can’t get blood from a turnip.
But, as a result, Mr. S didn’t save at all until mentors in jobs shared the concept with him. We even struggled at first in our marriage because our value systems were so different. Luckily he’s a smart man and fairly quickly “got” the concept so I didn’t have to kill him off for the insurance money - which I would have then saved.
You can live off your investments because you had grandparents and parents to set them up for you and teach you to contribute and maintain them. I’m sure as a result you’ll also inherit. Generational wealth is a HUGE advantage that MOST people don’t have.
I’m just offering this because I think it’s easy for those of us with extra capacity, a culture of saving, or generations who paved the way to be bewildered when others don’t save. But, it’s really a huge gift and extreme advantage to be taught to invest and to be able to do so.
The money that was invested for me as a child was all lost, both from recessions and bad investments. Everything we have is from investing money we earned. DH and I started a business and used the profits from that to establish our nest egg.
No financial road is ever perfectly smooth, is it?
I've been sneaking up on establishing my own business and already do contract work from time to time. I have found I can make a lot more even with spotty contracting in addition to my day job and, even after taxes and overhead, that it's a more efficient way of building some reserves to either invest or put toward our house (just another form of investment). When I figured out that I was going nowhere quick, financially, I was in my mid 20s. I headed to grad school in part just to be more employable and flexible with work. I understand that school isn't for everyone, but for me it made the difference between being viably employed as opposed to working for peanuts with the potential to be out of work should I get injured.
That’s a bit sad about your mother. I’m sorry you feel she set a bad example. Guess it’s up to you to break the cycle with your DDHappy you’re back. You were missed.
My mother is ridiculously cheap. She will never buy truly nice things but, she will buy semi nice things in categories she just doesn’t use like china or evening wear. Then they sit in cabinets and closets because they are “too nice to use”. See that as I grew up made me frustrated as she’s also a very bitter woman. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t use her nicer things and just be happy. I’d think - why not give the party you keep talkinh about instead of being frustrated you don’t have friends. Why not either buy the pretty outfit in your current size or lose the weight to fit what you bought - either way enjoying the pretty outfit.
It seems like self sabotage to me. So, I vowed that I’d never be that way. I use my best china for everything. If I break a price I can always go to the china specialists and get a replacement. I do my best to spend the most on the things I will use every day (bags, clothes, etc.) vs spending the most on “special” items that I won’t see but every blue none. And, if I get a special thing, I still use it in my every day life. I’ll wear my best mink coat to Target. Lol! And even with my attitude, it’s STILL sometimes hard not to self limit and tell myself to “save a thing” for ???????
This is one reason I try to wear my things right away. I don’t want the barrier in my head that it’s too whatever and then I don’t incorporate it into my daily life.
I can’t wait for your mod shots on the LD. They could help me finally pull the trigger on one for me! If I had to say what bags I’ve never owned most want to add and just haven’t pulled the trigger they’d be the Gucci Dionysus the Bal City and the Lady Dior. I haven’t added the GD because I haven’t seen the perfect material / color yet. I haven’t added the Bal City because the one I want is black and it would have to be a back up in a “use” category for me. And I haven’t added the LD because I am not sure about the medium’s opening but I feel anything smaller would be problematic. I also am not a fan of the new, thicker strap or the strap charms.
The Reverse LI or LI would be good for my ivory Chanel!
I’m realizing the color is a lot of the issue. I adore the ivory Dior that Mr. S bought me but I struggle to wear it with what I have. I only own one pair of brown heels, I don’t own any navy or ivory shoes. I own gold and that would work for my Dior but not for the Chanel which has dull shw. So since, I think that color bag would look nice with a non black shoe, I struggle. Same with clothes. I just started buying more navy and blue but I have zero earth tones in my wardrobe which I think also would compliment it well. When I wear my usual black / white / grey / red / jewel tones palette, it just is never the perfect (or even 2nd best, 3rd best or 4th best option.)
That being said, I’m all excited to buy a few more things just to wear with the ivory Diorama and headed to the mall today to do so.Not so much with the Chanel. So I’m thinking that as much as I hate to say it, it needs to go. One of my BFF’s (who doesn’t “get” my purse obsession and only owns <gas> one bag, but who loves me enough to have learned to speak my language) suggested that instead of me looking at selling the bag as a loss of something unique in my collection that I just get rid of it and buy myself a different unique bag for my collection that I’ll actually use and love. She said to take the proceeds from the C and put it towards something else that I not only love but will feel is a cool addition to my collection.
When she said that it was like rockets went off in my head. Lol! I got like a little kid thinking of how much fun it would be to hunt a very special, unique, collectible bag that I’d actually love to wear. It’s good to get input! Whoop! Let the games begin!!!!
Thanks! I was wondering where it went. Lol! But I think this will make it easier.
Beautiful! How do you decide what to leave in bags and what to display. I have all my bags on display because I just love looking at them.
On the ivory bag, I think you may be overthinking your colour palette. I find white and ivory to be quite forgiving accessories colours. Try an all black outfit with a jewel toned coat, and a white bag. Or pastels with white bag. I do find duochrome palettes with navy / ivory very chic, and I do wear them, but I don’t think you need ivory or navy shoes.
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Well done you, for your self reliance and intelligence. You will make your children’s lives better than your own, which is what every parent hopes to do.
Sounds quite balanced in terms of pros vs cons! Not an easy decision. Keep us posted.Pros:
1. Even though studs are pretty much over, I still like them.
2. The weight, which is 1.1 pounds.
3. It has a nice wide strap.
4. It's my only brown bag.
Cons:
1. The clasp is very fiddly.
2. It isn't lined (partly why it's so lightweight) which makes it uber-slouchy and also kind of lumpy looking.
3. It's my only N/S bag (taller than it is wide) and I'm not sure if that's the most flattering look for me.
4. It's my only brown bag.
So I'm going to use the heck out of it for the next few weeks, and just see what I think.
OMG! This drives me crazy. I get being “comfortable” but, nice looking clothes are comfortable too. I don’t get how people will wear anything anywhere.
I was at the nail salon yesterday. A woman came in wearing a onesie pajama outfit similar to this except it wasn’t even festive. It was grey and black stripes. Her feet were stuffed into stained Uggs.
She looked ridiculous. There is no excuse for coming out looking like this. If you have the money to get your nails done you don’t have to wear stained shoes. You can also get a pair of jeans and a hoodie or sweater.
Also, Mr. S & I went out on Friday night. We’re still exploring our new city because we lost so much time with me having three surgeries and massive thyroid issues over the spring and summer. So we went to 4 different upscale bar / restaurants. All were listed in the city magazine as some of the top ones. People were dressed like they were going to dig potatoes. Casual is one thing but adult women in tobaggan caps and guys in plaid shirt over graphic T’s... at “nice” locations??? C’mon!!! There is nice casual. But there is also cocktail wear, date night wear, dinner wear. These categories do exist and don’t require anyone to wear a corset or a dinner jacket. Sheesh!
Again I say, Argh!
I think a lot of this is economic advantage and cultural on a family level. I was taught to save and invest my by parents via role modeling. I think they may have mentioned it once or twice. But it was such a strong part of our family culture that I picked it up without much tutelage or active encouragement. So, I’m big on saving and investing.
In contrast, Mr. S’s family has never saved. They were lower middle class and didn’t have much to save. Income from both parents working just covered bills for a household with 5 kids. So there wasn’t opportunity. No fault of theirs. You can’t get blood from a turnip.
But, as a result, Mr. S didn’t save at all until mentors in jobs shared the concept with him. We even struggled at first in our marriage because our value systems were so different. Luckily he’s a smart man and fairly quickly “got” the concept so I didn’t have to kill him off for the insurance money - which I would have then saved.
You can live off your investments because you had grandparents and parents to set them up for you and teach you to contribute and maintain them. I’m sure as a result you’ll also inherit. Generational wealth is a HUGE advantage that MOST people don’t have.
I’m just offering this because I think it’s easy for those of us with extra capacity, a culture of saving, or generations who paved the way to be bewildered when others don’t save. But, it’s really a huge gift and extreme advantage to be taught to invest and to be able to do so.
I do not come from money personally and it is interesting to see how different my sisters and I are in “nice” settings. I am very in tune with social queues and I rather be over dressed than underdressed... my sister will wear leggings and a crop top with a plaid shirt over it to fine dining (literally, she did this when my boyfriend and I took her to dinner). And she is older than me... I think it really is interesting to see. I have friends who are spoiled trust fund babies and will wear club clothing to fancy dinners. Imo everything is about what that person values to themselves and how they want others to perceive them/if they want to blend in or just don’t care
Good for you going back to school! I always meant to get an advanced degree but once I was out of school, it was too hard to go back. Plus I got a great job right out of school and my career took off quickly. Our son went to JC for a few years but firmly believes he doesn't need a degree. He does consulting work on his own and does really well. He makes a lot more money than he would if he were working on salary. We worry what will happen if his contracts end but he is so resourceful that he always finds something. He started his own business when he was 13.
I’m completely unemployable and turning 40 next autumn so i might as well start a phd program right? That’s what I’m assuming, so....my applications are going out right now and if an amazing job doesn’t land on my doorstep between now and august, I am going to start a 4 year program just as I turn 40. I feel like being a middle aged student is nothing to be proud about, but at least I have 4 gorgeous, amazing thriving kids, a fabulous marriage, and....they do pay a smallish salary for the program and I should be able to....I dunno, teach, after that...? I just know that right now I have no other option than full time meal prep and laundry, so doctoral program it is.
Oh and by the way I ended up not getting a celebratory anything. so much willpower! I ended up spending my bag money from a sold fendi and YSL on.... GRE exam registration fees and sending a chunk of money off my paypal to my bank account to make amends with my husband about overspending on unnecessary fashion purchases in November/December. 
I would need to sell one more bag and send the cash to our account in order for him to get off my back already about my autumn spending. THEN maybe I can start saving up for 2019 trip experiences, including family summer camp and a separate autumn trip to NYC with my eldest.... No new bags for me coming up.
But 3 totes are on the way so don’t feel bad for me. A black Gucci, a taupe Prada, and an Orange ferragamo.
I would need to sell one more bag and send the cash to our account in order for him to get off my back already about my autumn spending. THEN maybe I can start saving up for 2019 trip experiences, including family summer camp and a separate autumn trip to NYC with my eldest.... No new bags for me coming up. But 3 totes are on the way so don’t feel bad for me. A black Gucci, a taupe Prada, and an Orange ferragamo.
It sounds like you really had the momentum to not need to go back to school - which is truly great!
I would tend to agree with your son, too. If it were possible to do my job without the degree I would. Other than discrete subject area expertise or specific skills and training, the primary benefit of going to school IMO is that it can teach young adults how to be self directed and responsible. But for a person to be working solidly since their teen years and even starting a business at that early time, that responsibility is already there!
pshaw! Education is a job, a very important one. By the time your children are a little less dependent on you, you'll be an expert in your area.
Responsible lady! Can't wait to see your new bags. You're setting an awesome example.Oh and by the way I ended up not getting a celebratory anything. so much willpower! I ended up spending my bag money from a sold fendi and YSL on.... GRE exam registration fees and sending a chunk of money off my paypal to my bank account to make amends with my husband about overspending on unnecessary fashion purchases in November/December.
But 3 totes are on the way so don’t feel bad for me. A black Gucci, a taupe Prada, and an Orange ferragamo.
Hmmm... I hadn't thought about that. But I don't think I mind wearing a pop of brown with black... wasn't @Miss_Dawn telling us the story of seeing a woman carrying "her" brown Prada bag while wearing a black outfit, and looking very pulled-together?
I think it's more that I'm not in love with the color brown itself, rather than that it doesn't match my outfits. I only bought this bag (well, actually it was "free" in a manner of speaking with Nordstrom Notes) because I though I really oughta have ONE brown bag in my collection.
Not sure if rockstuds are over or not. I figure if *I* know about a trend, it's probably over!