How do you feel being an only child?

#16
I don't have time to write anything long-so, i will make this short.

I hate it and always have ahted it! LOL I am 42 years old now with children of my own and I still hate. I hated it as a kid more, and then there was a brief period in my teens when i didn't care-but, I have hated it again for the longest time.

I wish i had a sibling for a lot of reasons, even to just have someone to chat with about my dad-someone who would have remembered him the way I do. I don't have anyone to share those stories with and that is sad to me. I have other reasons too. Gee-guess that wasn't so short after all
 
#19
I'm surprised to see that a lot of people feel the same way as I do. Nishi621, I totally relate to what you are saying about wishing that you could have someone remember your dad together. I know that it we have loved ones that are here to listen to us, but it is different when it is a sibling who has been there too while you are growing up as a family.
Kirsten, I understand about feeling guilty about your mom. My mom moved in with me after my dad died, but she is moving into her own place early next month (after 1 year of living with me). I am happy and relieved because I feel like I can have my own space back and try go on with life as it was , but I feel guilty too because I know that she is scared living alone and I feel guilty that I feel relieved that I get my own space back.
 
#21
Hated being an only child, I've always yearned for the bond I see my friends with siblings have with each other. I hate being responsbile for all my parents (divorced so I had 4 to watch over) and hate always being the responsible party in general.

Advantages were I've always gotten along btter with adults than my own peer groups - also a disadvanage, my teenage years were pretty hard to watch as I floundered between peers and adults.

I will not have children, but if I did - I'd say at least two.

I worry about getting old and not having anyone who gives a crap about me left on the earth.
 
#22
I am an only child and if I could have a sibling I would. My parents wanted to have a lot of children but my mom had multiple miscarriages which led to a hysterectomy. I remember that day really well...I was in middle school and I got sick to my stomach because I knew that was it...it was just me. I even asked my parents to adopt. I feel like only children have their own culture. I personally internalize a lot of things and I like to say that I know how to "play by myself" so to speak. Meaning a lot of times I can go off on my own and get things done...not that I am anti-social but it's just I am so use to entertaining myself that it's easy for me to accomplish things solo.
I look at sibling relationships..especially sister sister relationships in aww. I think the interactions are really neat. Don't get me wrong...I had a best friend since the 2nd grade that would be the closest thing to a sister but that's still not the same thing as an actual sibling.
My parents prepared me to be on my own because they knew once they were gone it would be just me. Not only am I an only child but both my parents were the youngest in their family by over 10 years. I was spoiled big time but I would trade all the "things" for a sibling.
 
#23
jcriley5 said:
I'm surprised to see that a lot of people feel the same way as I do. Nishi621, I totally relate to what you are saying about wishing that you could have someone remember your dad together. I know that it we have loved ones that are here to listen to us, but it is different when it is a sibling who has been there too while you are growing up as a family.
Kirsten, I understand about feeling guilty about your mom. My mom moved in with me after my dad died, but she is moving into her own place early next month (after 1 year of living with me). I am happy and relieved because I feel like I can have my own space back and try go on with life as it was , but I feel guilty too because I know that she is scared living alone and I feel guilty that I feel relieved that I get my own space back.
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My husband has 2 sisters-both of whom are quite a bit older than him-but, still, they share things that just can't be shared with others. I mean, I could tell my hsuband stories about my dad-but, it is nowhere near the same as what I see soemtimes with my husband and his sisters when theya re talking about "oh-remember when dad did this?" etc.

There is just a bond there having a sibling-and I miss it. Now, I know not all siblings get along and there are adult siblings who don't even talk-but, at least they had a shot at it. My sons are 13 years apart, but, at soem point in their lives, the age difference won't really matter and, at least they will have each other.

i too got tons of things due to being an only child. I never had to wear hand me downs, got tons of toys, never had to share my stuff, etc. etc. I too would trade it all in for a brother or sister. I remember being a kid and being in the car and wishing upon a star (star light, star bright, first star I see tonight........) and I always, always wished for a baby sister or brother. i always knew I would never have just one child.
 
#24
i had to read these all over again, i never knew another only child growing up. it was all i knew.

looking back, i was very lonely. always played alone in my room as a child. sometimes i can't cope with my kids and my husband...i just literally want to run away and hide. i just have to be "alone". luckily that feeling passes, because being alone is a luxury to me now.

i have 2 kids, they fight like cats and dogs...but i keep telling them how very lucky they are to have one another.
 
#25
I was an only child and growing up, it didn't bother me at all. I had a ton of friends and didn't care to have siblings. I was spoiled rotten and loved it. Now as an adult, I wish I had siblings. I wish I had someone to talk to about my dad (he died when I was 15 of a brain tumor) and someone that would be there for my kids as aunts/uncles. My mom and I are best friends, but I wish I had brothers/sisters for me when the day comes that she's gone. I made sure that I had 2 kids and they have 2 half siblings....much older than them, but still, they have siblings. My mom and dad were trying and didn't intend for me to be an only child, but my dad got cancer at age 32....died at age 37.
 
#27
girlsgottoshop said:
I was an only child and growing up, it didn't bother me at all. I had a ton of friends and didn't care to have siblings. I was spoiled rotten and loved it. Now as an adult, I wish I had siblings. I wish I had someone to talk to about my dad (he died when I was 15 of a brain tumor) and someone that would be there for my kids as aunts/uncles. My mom and I are best friends, but I wish I had brothers/sisters for me when the day comes that she's gone. I made sure that I had 2 kids and they have 2 half siblings....much older than them, but still, they have siblings. My mom and dad were trying and didn't intend for me to be an only child, but my dad got cancer at age 32....died at age 37.
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Sorry to hear that you lost your dad, especially so young. I can't imagine how hard that must have been since the teen yrs were already tough enough! I lost my dad last yr when I was 27 and I had a hard enough time with that. Obviously I am glad that none of my friends had to go through the grief of losing their parents but I wish that there was someone I could talk to who understands, especially a sister/brother who loved my dad like I did. I too worry about how sad it will be when the time comes when my mom gets too old :sad: and I don't have any other immediate family.
 
#28
guccimamma said:
i had to read these all over again, i never knew another only child growing up. it was all i knew.

looking back, i was very lonely. always played alone in my room as a child. sometimes i can't cope with my kids and my husband...i just literally want to run away and hide. i just have to be "alone". quote]

I know what you mean about having to be "alone". I haven't had that feeling in a long long time but when I was younger and even when I first left to go to college I always felt this urge to be alone when I needed to think things throught probably b/c I was used to keeping a lot of things in growing up. Looking back I was very lonley too and would stay in my room a lot.
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#29
Both my FH and I are only children and neither of us would change it for the world.

From my point of view I've seen tooooooo many families that have multiple children stretched tooooooo thin. I've seen siblings ignored and neglected, both on purpose and not on purpose.

My mom has one brother and my dad is the oldest of five boys and neither have significant relationships with their siblings. My dad only ever sees 2 of his brothers and my mom HATES her bother, let me change that, we all HATE her brother.

My mom is in the situation where her parents are getting older and she is now having to take care of them more. Her brother is NEVER around and NEVER helps out. 5 years ago my grandfather had a heart attack and my mom moved in for 6 weeks to help out because my grandmother is incapable of taking care of herself, then last year my grandfather had both his knees replaced, again my mom stepped up and moved in for 4 weeks to help out. My uncle is too damn self involved to lend any type of "helping hand". He's so oblivious that he doesn't even understand how sick his own mother is and how severe her condition is. So having brothers and sisters around to help out when our parents get old is a beauty idea, but sometimes it doesn't work like that.

Sure there were times when I was younger where I got lonely, but I could probably count those times on one hand, there weren't many. I had loving parents, great friends, and a very vivid imagination.

I charish the fact that I'm an only child. I don't have to share my parents' love with anyone else. But I also consider myself VERY LUCKY. My parents had to try for 3 years to have me and they decided to quit while they were ahead and because of that I was born into a family of love, where I was the center of my parents' universe.

My FH on the other hand was born to parents that should never have had children, sad to say I know. But they are very selfish, inconsiderate people, they only had him because they got pregnant, they didn't plan on having children.

My FH and I plan on only having 1 child, we both agree that we want one child to shower with love and affection and let be the center of our universe. I can understand where some of you are coming from, feeling resented or alone as your parents age, but I don't have any worries about things like that. I know that in the future it may be tough being the only one around, but I know that there will be no one else on this planet that loves my parents more than I do, to do the job of taking care of them as they age or pass away and I know that they will be taken care of in a proper and loving way.

Wow that was long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:P
 
#30
I third the alone time syndrome. I actually start to lose it mentally around too much chaos and have to retreat and reform before being 'ok to socialize' again.

Christmas with my cousins - where 4 of them grew up together, and now they all have at least 2 kids a piece....wow - just clearing the table and I know I just don't have the skills for that level of chaos and socialization and to my cousins, it's first nature.
 
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