How do you feel being an only child?

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  1. I'm an only child. I had a difficult childhood with some experiences I wish I could have shared with a sibling. I also long for a real sense of family. I was raised by my father, whom I adore but it's basically been just him and I. I never really had an extended family. For the most part I am glad I was an only child but I also feel the need for alone time quite often.

    I have one child for several reasons and he's always been THRILLED to be an only child. :smile:
     
  2. Im an only child..seems to be a bunch of us on here... I sometimes like it and sometimes I dont. I was always lonley and sometimes miss the bond and interactions that I see some of my friends and BF's siblings have.. I like the independence and fact that I dont have to share lol.. but I didnt grow up spoiled as I had a ton of friends and treated them as siblings. Sometimes though, I wish we had a big family so that holidays would be much more memorable and that it wouldnt just be me and my parents (our other family lives far away)...

    I also find myself getting jealous sometimes of my BF's bond with his family, and then I realize that I would never understand because Im an only child and dont know what he feels like to always have to conform and relate and share with others all the time..

    But, with all that said, (I dont have kids now), but when that time comes, I will definitley have more than one.. I dont want to be alone if something horrible happens to my family, as I sometimes fear I will be when my parents pass away.. that will be a burden I will have to face alone and hopefully I will have a ton of kids to help me ease the pain. :heart:

    Essentially, there are some ups and downs of being an only child.
     
  3. I agree, I dont like this part of being an only child... you always have to look out for them, and immigrating from another county, it was hard to assimilate with my parents and help them along the way.. I felt like I was the parent most of the time...
     
  4. I'm an only child and I think I was very lonely. Like many posts, I spent a lot of time in my room and really was great at entertaining myself. I really got into my head - and I really hated having people come over too much because I didn't want my friends playing with MY toys. I didn't mind going to their homes, but I always loved coming back into MY little world.
    Now I'm a Mom to four wonderful kids. It's an amazing lovely wild house-hold - 2 girls, 2 boys, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 lizards....ultimate fun.
    I'm sad that people who have only known families that have multiples find that that there are "neglected" children. That's terrible. I make special time for each and every one of them - I'm just as close to the first as I am to the fourth....they're all different.
    I guess I wanted to fill my world with all kinds of NOISE!! But I do know, that in the midst of it all, I need about 10 minutes just to lie down on my bed, pet the kitties and zone out - and just get away. And that's okay!
    I know that being an adult, I lost my Mom at a young age (she was only 64) and I can't imagine having a sibling to share the grief with. That would have been either a curse or a wonder.
    I don't understand fighting between siblings. Sometimes they go at each other - they hate each other - OMG. Then five minutes later, they're like playing again? Wha??? I'm like "I though you guys were mad" and they're just "oh, no biggie." Okay.....I think to myself as I put my girls to sleep as they say goodnight to each other - boy - it's just like a sleepover every friggin' night!!! I remember laying in bed all by myself, probably pretty friggin' scared of the dark listening to a dog bark far away in the distance...and I felt like I was the only one in the world and I was LONELY....:crybaby:
    We don't have a big family (no aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.,), and my children hopefully will always remain close so they just have a fabulous big time of it with lots of gatherings and lots of love.....
     
  5. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being an only child!!! I won't deny on occasions that I've wished for a brother or sister if only to take some of the pressures that my dad can put on me but 95% of the time I love it.

    Have to say that I want to have at least two children
     
  6. i'm not the only child, but i'm the only daughter my mom and my dad had. sometimes i felt lonely too, and i want to have sister. I think getting along a lot with boys made me unable to communicate or think and understand girlish way/mind, and it is not easy for me to having relationship with girlfriend, a lot more easier with boys. Now both my brothers had married, so that i've 2 SIL, but still, i cannot be close to them.
     
  7. No, I definitely wanted more than one child, because I was very lonely in my childhood. I grew up living with my Dad for reasons that were out of my control and probably for the best. When I lost my Dad 15 years ago, I sat Shiva ( a Jewish word for mourning a lost parent, sibling,or child) To do this alone was very sad for me, and I decided then and there to have more children. I am lucky to have three beautiful kids, but I cannot relate to their squabbles OR rivalry in any way. I have had to LEARN to do this.
    jcriley, I am sorry that you are feeling like this, and know that things will feel better for you in time. Do you have any one else at all that can share this burden with you, or can you contact a bereavement counsellor for either you alone, or for your mum?
     
  8. I am an only child and the last month has been pure hell for me. My Mother was taken ill with an aneurysm bleed (hemorrhagic stroke) and subsequent brain surgery.

    Being the only one here has been very hard. My Mother never remarried after divorcing my father. So it's been just the two of us all my life. Now, at the age of 47, I've had to grow up quickly and deal with these life altering circumstances.

    It's hard for the only child when your parents get old. That's why I urge you singleton children to talk to your parents and make sure they have arrangements for either long term care or something similar and have living wills in place to help you with those excruciatingly tough choices that you will inevitably have to make. Also, make sure you have all their personal and financial information and power of attorney.

    My family is mostly in NJ and although they've been emotionally supportive, that is the only support they have been able to offer at this time. People work, have children, and lead lives that they can't drop at a moments notice and come and help you.

    Thanks for letting me vent. It's been a tough road. My Mother is making progress but it's slow.

    Peace, Greenie
     
  9. Being an only child was okay. Sure, I'll never know what it's like to have a brother or sister, but I had a good childhood and was happy
     
  10. I am only child and my son is an only child. I always liked it growing up. I have always been (and liked being) the center of attention with my parents! I now like that I can focus all my attention on my son. I have felt at times like I wished there was a sibling for me to share things with, but overall I like being the only child.
     
  11. I understand how you feel. One of my best friends is an only child and she is exhausted taking care of her aging parents.

    On the other hand, just having another sibling or two doesn't guarantee someone will be there to share the work. My poor mom ... she is the only one taking care of my grandma. Her brother ... that's a whole different story, and sometimes I think that's harder - someone else is capable and available but just doesn't want to help.
     
  12. :yes:

    My mum has three brothers and when both my grandmother and my grandfather fell ill and subsequently died she was the one who had to race up the motorway to sort things out. We live 200 miles away but she was always the one who was left to do all these things with zero support from her brothers. My father and I were the ones who supported her and I imagine my partner will do the same when/if the need arises.

    I was far more of a support to my partner when his dad was in a near fatal car crash than his sister ever was.

    The idea of family these days is so utterly different to what is was say 20 years ago. Family is more of a coming together of people than blood relations.
     
  13. I have two younger sisters: one who will be 18 next month (ahh!) and one who just turned 9. I can honestly say that I don't know what I would do without either one of them...we are all very close, and I am very greatful to have them around. I think I would be very lonely w/o siblings.

    I'm very sorry for your loss...but you know what you could do? Just ask some cousins that are around your age or some very close friends to maybe help you out w/ your mom. I could def. see how that would be a huge responsibility for one person to handle. Don't be afraid to ask some cousins, aunts and uncles, or close friends to help out. Best of luck and you are in my thoughts!
     
  14. OMG I can so relate in the past few years I have wished that I had siblings as a support but on the otehr hand I've always been greatful that my parents did not have more children to experience the horrors and trauma that I have.

    It makes me want to have a bigger family. ANd it also makes me more aware of different messages and awarenesses that when I have G-d willing I wnat to expose my own children to.

    Then again it makes me more greastful for my in-laws and their slightly larger and more involved in each others lives way of things.
     
  15. People move away...SO has one older brother who is on the other side of the US. If anything happened to his parents he'd probably just call, not even visit. It makes SO very reluctant to move away from our current area of residence, and makes me rather angry as it will limit job opportunities for both of us.