Would you lend your wedding dress?

C

closeted

O.G.
Feb 8, 2009
217
143
#1
Hi, I would love to get an input on this please :smile:. I had my wedding almost 3 years ago, it was lovely, I promise I was not even remotely a bridezilla ( a good friend had her wedding on the same day on another city, so our friends were scrambling on what to do, I made them go to the other wedding, since it was a private wedding, their absence would be very noticeable and well err not attending my wedding would not exactly be a friendship breaker). I was blessed enough to purchase (or was gifted) instead of renting my dress and all things accompanying it.
Well, eversince the wedding, I have several people wanting to borrow my wedding things. My sister's bff borrowed my haircomb to use for her wedding. A cousin tried on my spare shoes, but it didn't fit, so she ended up not borrowing them. Now another cousin had " borrowed" my 2 wedding shoes and 1 white shoes ( I bought them when I was my friend's bridesmaid). Asking if she can also use my veil and her mom asked if they might borrow my dress. Well the non dress stuff I can live with other people using them, but I draw the line at the dress. I mean, I consider it an heirloom. My sister I'd lend her the dress in a heartbeat, my daughter, of course, but other than that, I can't bear it.
I wonder what do you girls think of this?
 
#2
I cannot imagine anyone having the nerve to ask you to lend them your wedding dress! Politely tell them that you have the dress preserved and saved (and sealed in a box) and that it cannot be lent to them (or anyone else). It doesn't matter if this is true; it sounds better than simply saying no - although you would be well within your rights to refuse them with no reason given. I cannot imagine wanting to wear someone else's dress (unless it were a family heirloom), nor can I imagine lending a dress to someone other than a daughter or sister. Your friend's mother is out of bounds by asking, so do not feel bad at all by saying no.
 
#3
No way. My wedding attire was custom-made for me, fitted, etc and has been heirloom preserved for my daughter if she wishes to use it.

Just say you had it preserved and you're not lending your attire. Seriously, they can't buy their own wedding shoes and hair comb?

At this point, say you've had everything boxed up for heirloom, sorry good luck finding your own. Wedding stuff is very personal, IMO.
 
#4
For me, I would in...but I am comfortable lending my things, even my designer bags, etc....

I see nothing wrong in not lending if you are not comfortable with it. I agree with the other ladies, simply say, "sorry it has been treated and boxed and being saved for the next generation".
 
#5
I've been married 5+ years and I would lend my dress (and other useless crap) to someone I trusted. I don't think I will ever wear that expensive veil, corset, etc...again!
Wedding stuff is just that "stuff" the covenant of marriage is intangible. However, if you're uncomfortable don't do it.
 
#6
No... Your wedding photos show you in that dress. The dress is yours and represents something very special for you alone. I would not, not even my hair comb!
 
#7
I'd lend it out. The clothes I wore when I married mean nothing to me really. If someone else needs them I would rather offer them with love and good wishes :smile: It's nice to spread your good fortune around. Not everyone can afford wedding things, especially in this economy.

But ultimately OP, it's up to you and what you're comfortable with. Personally I think you were very nice to lend stuff already. That's some good karma you've put out into the universe right there!
 
#8
Thks ladies, you make me feel better. I was even asked what about just for the engagement photoshoot? Errr well, my dress was fitted for me, as any wedding dress should be, so I imagine wouldn't she do the same? Just the thought that my dress would be altered ( more butchered in my mind) :sad:
I know they're just stuff, but precious stuff for me :smile:
I have to admit, I thought lending them was no big deal until it actually happened :P
I'm still dreading wether or not she's going to return the shoes, especially the wedding shoes, they're in pristine condition, and were bought especially for the wedding and were not worn since. I'm even thinking of just buying her a pair as a gift instead!
And they're family so I just don't want to put my mom into a difficult situation, so, yhea, sighhhhh
A side vent, I wonder if they're borrowing this coz they actually like it or for the label? As I said, I'm very lucky, my MIL bought me a vera wang dress and I bought with my own money my 2 wedding shoes, 1 stuart weitzman and 1 jimmy choo.
For now, I'd think of your words coco belle, it's doing something good :smile:
 
#9
I wouldn't lend it either. That's too much to ask. Some nerve these people have.. its so personal, almost like lingerie or underwear. Do people ask you to borrow lingerie? No. So they shouldn't ask to borrower your dress! Just my opinion..
 
#10
People are already asking so much stuff to lend from you. Don't lend your wedding dress, you're already nice enough to let other people borrow your other wedding stuff. They will understand.
 
#11
You should do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable. I would probably let them borrow it, just because being a wedding dress it is unlikely I would use it again and sitting in my closet or in a box isn't doing me any good so why not help out someone else? I think this way just because I've seen what happens to wedding dresses in preservation boxes, some people pass them on but a lot just end up throwing it away down the line or donating it.
 
#12
Absolutely not. I come from Indian culture where we DO wear our wedding dresses again (they're more like a fancy version of clothes we already wear, rather than a super formal item like a tuxedo or ballgown) so I'd want to keep my wedding dress and all accessories for myself, or very close family (daughter or daughter-in-law).
 
#14
Not my dress. The accessories I can see - how many occasions do you have to wear white gloves*, for instance? - but not the dress. The dress is so personal, like someone said, lingerie. I think there would be so much fun in hunting for the dress - whether it be online, in a thrift store, Kleinfeld's or a chain like David's Bridal - that there's something missing in just borrowing a dress.

FTR, I am not married, and have not been married - but my answer would be the same.

*Besides MJ Tribute Karaoke Night.
 
#15
I wouldn't even lend the accessories! A woman's wedding-day is one of the most important days in her life, IMO, when she commits to share her life with another man and make a family. The clothes, shoes etc worn this day, though they are mereley objects, can be pretty meaningfull, special and of course unique!!!

If you don't want to lend the dress to your friend, tell her politely that it's a special piece that really means a lot to you and you don't feel comfortable lending it. If she's a good friend, she'll understand! It's the most personalized item on a married woman's wardrobe, after all!!!
 
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