Would you lend your wedding dress?
- Thread starter closeted
- Start date
The irony of the whole thing is, we wanted to have a simple wedding which was deemed to simple ( I'm literally a jeans and t shirt no make up kinda girl), . My MIL actually insisted on getting the dress for me, I thought it was too expensive (though so lovely) for something I'd wear only once, I actually slept on it for days. And then the whole fitting, finding the right shoes, accesories etc, with help from my sister and a good friend who is a designer and when the whole thing comes together perfectly, just the memory put a smile on my face. So yhea, it's not a vw issue, lots of thoughts was put into the whole thing 
If you lent your cousin your gown, she would probably alter it to fit better. I mean, who wants to wear an ill-fitting gown on their wedding day? Once it's out of your hands you really have no control over what happens to it.
I haven't been married, but I think I would be willing to lend out accessories to a few close friends-I kind of like the idea of passing on something that meant a lot to me on my wedding day for a close friend on her special day.
HOWEVER, I draw the line at the wedding dress. She will probably need to get it refitted, and there is too much of a chance it will get dirty or torn. Even if you don't plan on wearing it again, wouldn't you be heartbroken if something happened to it?
HOWEVER, I draw the line at the wedding dress. She will probably need to get it refitted, and there is too much of a chance it will get dirty or torn. Even if you don't plan on wearing it again, wouldn't you be heartbroken if something happened to it?
I sold my dress on the bay two years after I got married. I still think (after almost 10 years of being married) that I had the most gorgeous dress in the world but I don't see a point in keeping it.
I would have sold it earlier but was too lazy to take pics.....
I would have sold it earlier but was too lazy to take pics.....
When my dress was heirloomed, they had to take everything metal off of the dress, which includes the zipper, hooks, etc. It would cost a LOT to put it all back on, then re-heirloom the dress after the wedding (>$500). Once you factor in alterations, it would be cheaper for someone to buy their own dress.
ITA with this. I can see wanting to pass down my dress to my daughter, but chances are really good she'd want her own. Of all the weddings I've been to and of all the women I know who've gotten married in the last 30 years (and I know a lot--I have a huge family), not a single one wore her mother's dress.
very true - most daughters would be mortified by the mere thought ! I gave my wedding dress to OXFAM a couple of years after the wedding. It was a custom made, mermaid style number in pure duchess silk. I do hope someone found some good use for it as at the time my waist was tiny and we made the dress so I virtually had to be poured into it! If I still had it I would be delighted to lend it - but then again I do like recycling things in general.
I personally would not lend out my gown... I would perserve it for a future daughter or next gerneation to wear. I think the fact that you are lending all your accessories is nice enough. They could serve as her 'something borrowed' but your dress is just that.... YOUR dress. Do not feel bad about saying no. good luck
Normally I wouldn't think twice about lending something out to a friend or family member, but this is a little different. I can't imagine a bride wearing a wedding gown without getting it altered, and once she gets it fitted to HER body, it will be like it's not "yours" any more. You might as well just give it to her at that point, since there wouldn't really be any reason to take it back.
If I were you, I would offer to give her photos of the gown so she could take it to a seamstress to have it recreated, if she wants the same exact dress. Personally, I wouldn't want to wear the same thing someone else wore in her wedding, but that's just me.
If I were you, I would offer to give her photos of the gown so she could take it to a seamstress to have it recreated, if she wants the same exact dress. Personally, I wouldn't want to wear the same thing someone else wore in her wedding, but that's just me.
I don't think that there's anything wrong with loaning your wedding dress, because even if you preserve it for your younger generation, there's a good chance that it'll wither and yellow, and/or as time goes by it'll become impractical (e.g. big poofy dress at destination beach wedding) or unfashionable.
But I think that the biggest issue here is that your friends/cousin are freeloading your goods, and not just any goods, but those that cost a lot of money without giving you anything in return.
Just say no. Be firm, and make sure that they'll never ask again.
I feel that people who take and take never appreciate and after a while they feel as if they're really entitled to it; part of it is their fault for being a bunch of freeloading ingrates, but fault also falls upon you for letting it happen.
But I think that the biggest issue here is that your friends/cousin are freeloading your goods, and not just any goods, but those that cost a lot of money without giving you anything in return.
Just say no. Be firm, and make sure that they'll never ask again.
I feel that people who take and take never appreciate and after a while they feel as if they're really entitled to it; part of it is their fault for being a bunch of freeloading ingrates, but fault also falls upon you for letting it happen.
That being said, I know that a wedding dress is a super-intimate item for a lot of you folks, but since I haven't gotten married, I feel the same way about other things too.
For instance, I bought this really cool black dress for about $300 (originally $575+ tax) and my friend kept bothering me to wear it; I kept saying no (or just made up excuses saying how I've never worn it myself blah blah blah). I'm just really reluctant to let ppl wear my things; I've had bad experiences in the past when ppl would borrow my stuff and it'll be returned noticeably worn out. So just don't do it!
For instance, I bought this really cool black dress for about $300 (originally $575+ tax) and my friend kept bothering me to wear it; I kept saying no (or just made up excuses saying how I've never worn it myself blah blah blah). I'm just really reluctant to let ppl wear my things; I've had bad experiences in the past when ppl would borrow my stuff and it'll be returned noticeably worn out. So just don't do it!
