Hi ladies,
I'm still new to the boards, but felt this an imprtant topic to chime in on.
My mom, who's 80, is a breast cancer survivor. I say that as she begins the last part of her treatment, radiation.
Mom had...HAD...a bastard of a gp that had to have been BLIND not to notice that her right breast looked like someone cut a football in half and glued it to her chest. She saw him several times in the course of 18 months before she even told us she was sick.
Since he didn't say anything, she figured it wasn't anything serious, although she did admit recently that she suspected something serious.
Anyway, my dad is 87, and somewhat self-centered and controlling, and mom, tho' she knew she was sick, didn't tell him or me for 18 months. She told her best friend and swore her to secrecy. I had just had two miscarriages and mom (bless her heart) didn't want to add to my stress.
When she finally told us (me, hubby and dad) it was because she was starting to have pain and couldn't deal with it anymore. :sad2:
In any event, mom wasn't used to dealing with forthright doctors. I took her to UCLA, where she's undergone chemo and a radical mastectomy and is now undergoing radiation for 6 weeks. Aside from occasional fatigue, she is fine. The brilliant docs at UCLA (esp. since it's a "teaching" hospital) don't mince words at all. There's no time.
In the end, she had some shocks throughout the process when the docs would just tell her straight out what was happening, etc. but we both feel honesty/openness is best. With the caveat that, as in other cases mentioned here, if the patient is not aware (i.e. senility, etc.) then why even go there? Same thing with the whole quality of life question.
Sorry this is soooo long. My whole family (parents, hubby, me) feel that no, generally, we would not keep the information to ourselves with the exceptions noted above.
Peace to you all, and thanks for listening.
Shelley