The Other Woman

#16
D & G rockstar said:
Of course the person being cheated on isn't to blame.. but IF THEY DECIDE TO STILL BE W/ THE CHEATING LIAR after the fact, then isn't it their fault then? I mean some people are sooooo in denial that they have to see their SO in the ACT before really believing it. :wtf:.
Click to expand...

I have a story to share. A friend of mine was cheated on by her bf of many years. She actually caught the two together in the act. After that incident the "other woman" had the nerve to call a meeting with my friend telling my friend that she (my friend) has NO chance against her. After that, her bf didn't deal with that other woman anymore but my friend said she couldn't stay with the guy. However, she TRIED to stay with the guy because all her other friends were telling her to just "forgive and forget" and that it's very "normal these days for people to cheat".:wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

So in my friend's case, she stayed with the guy for a while because all these people around her made it sound like it was something wrong with her thinking for finding cheating to be unacceptable. But thankfully, 2 years later, she did dump him because she knew she couldn't deal with something ilke that. Anyways, the gist of this story is that some ppl stay for different reasons - in this case my friend just didn't have the right people confirming with her that she SHOULD leave him, instead her other friends made her felt like she was being abnormal and unreasonable by not forgiving the guy and dealing with it
 
#17
All people are responsible for their choices. However, I don't believe in the "homewrecker" concept because in my experience the home is usually wrecked before the second party comes along. I also know this to be true from experience--just because I went through this in a prior relationship. I don't excuse his actions but the relationship was already on shaky ground before he cheated on me.

That much said, I have had friends that have met men who have out and out LIED to them about their marital status. It seems like in this age of emails and cell phones, it is much easier to conceal these things. I also know there are women out there that deliberately seek OUT married guys. Its very strange.

Marriages can also survive infidelity. It does happen and it happened with my parents. In fact, their marriage was stronger after they went through it.
 
#18
Baby Boo said:
i dont know how to comment without everyone yelling at em..

as far as the cheating while still lvoing.. umm i come from a society where its very normal for the man to cheat.. and normal for the woman to accept it.. usually what happens is just that the man wants sex.. unfortanly men are into it and they can emotianlly do it wihtout being attached.

someoen once said to me.. if a man cheats.. you can forgive ( not every time. but first itme) cuz its only sex, he can get tht anywhere.. but if he is having an affair.. you leave. cuz once a woman has attraced him mentally hes gone. cuz not everyone can do that
Click to expand...

I can't speak for everyone but I know I won't even tolerate cheating once ... if the guy cares about me enough, surely he'll know that cheating (even if it's just "sex") would hurt me and therefore should refrain from doing so ...

I can't imagine women saying "it's just sex" and get away with it ...
 
#19
Do you believe that three people are present and responsible in all love triangles.? No

Why do you think there are women who are ok with being " The Other Woman" ?

I don't think they are ok with it. Perhaps they didn't know they were the "other women" and once found out thought they were the "only women" in the relationship. However, to those that may be ok with it, it could be numerous reasons. Maybe they are scared of a relationship and this gives them an easy way out, they don't have time or energy for a true commitment, or just like swinging in general. Different strokes for different folks:smile:

 
#20
i agree. its wrong and ddamaging to the realtionship.. but unfortuanly in my society/. for a man its different

PLEASE NOTE THESE ARE NOT MY THOUGHTS... just pointing out what goes on..


BUT- i know this is going to get me alot of flack.. in SOME instances when a guy cheats.. the girl is sometimes to blame too.. ppl stray when somehting is lacking. AND ITS WRONG and they should leave first but sometimes.. they dont.. and some ppls relationships get stronger after it
 
#21
Baby Boo said:
i agree. its wrong and ddamaging to the realtionship.. but unfortuanly in my society/. for a man its different

PLEASE NOTE THESE ARE NOT MY THOUGHTS... just pointing out what goes on..


BUT- i know this is going to get me alot of flack.. in SOME instances when a guy cheats.. the girl is sometimes to blame too.. ppl stray when somehting is lacking. AND ITS WRONG and they should leave first but sometimes.. they dont.. and some ppls relationships get stronger after it
Click to expand...

Not going to flack you for anything:flowers: . I feel that if the relationship isn't satisfying for the guy, he should just leave instead of cheating on the girl. It's the least someone can do. Whatever that is lacking in the relationship, at least the girl isn't the one who is cheating. They should try to work something out first and if that doen't work, they should really just break up before the guy has to stick his dick elsewhere. Otherwise it's just going to be a common excuse to blame things on the person who is cheated, rather than the person who is committing such a deed. In my culture we have a saying for guys like that - stepping on two rafts with one foot on each, they eventually fall into the water:lol: .
 
#22
koukanamiya said:
I have a story to share. A friend of mine was cheated on by her bf of many years. She actually caught the two together in the act. After that incident the "other woman" had the nerve to call a meeting with my friend telling my friend that she (my friend) has NO chance against her. After that, her bf didn't deal with that other woman anymore but my friend said she couldn't stay with the guy. However, she TRIED to stay with the guy because all her other friends were telling her to just "forgive and forget" and that it's very "normal these days for people to cheat".:wtf: :wtf: :wtf:
Click to expand...

OMG, Kou, she should've dumped her friends that were saying that too. I mean, if a guy can't give me respect and honesty, he doesn't have sh*t to offer me long term.. gotta get rid of that ZERO!
 
#23
When I first began dating my mother told me something that has stayed with me for years. She always said to date and have fun but if we, I have two other sisters, ever felt we didn't want to be with a guy we were dating to do what we would want them to do to us and that is to leave that person a whole person. There is never any need, especially in a committed relationship, to make a person feel less than whole. I've always told my husband that as much as I love him I would never beg him to stay with me, not even for my children, I just asked to be left a whole person which would mean not cheated on or lied to. Just a thought. As to Kou's story, the integrity of that relationship was destroyed - its like a piece of wood, if you put a hole in it even if you patch it the integrity has been compromised. Do I believe that relationships can be stronger after someone cheats - no, different but not as strong as before.
 
#24
Lust, passion.....feelings that are ingnited within them that they find it hard to control. They let go and fall in it deep. Not an excuse but maybe they get that swept away feeling and want to hold on?
 
#25
gosh... i was just faced with this problem. my bf for 7 years told me that he thought he's in love with a girl that he just met for 7 days! i was so f***ed up and sad. i'm not even angry, i was just crying and he said he needed time to think and left me alone. i don't wanna tell any of my friends yet cause things would be too complicated until he left for 2 days and i stayed over at my friends to avoid the pain of being alone.
i was sooo hurst that it only took him 7 days to neglect our 7 yrs relationship.
he was so confused because he said he can't resist that girl's affection for him, i was so disappointed with him and then my anger turns to that girl too. she knew that he had a gf and been living together for years, and yet she kept on calling him although he already told her that i would be spending a night with him and my bf asked that girl to respect me by not disturbing him. and yet she did.
later, i ran from the house and stayed with my friends and decided to leave my bf alone with his thoughts, i never want to interfere him with his decisions. although he cheated on me, at least i have more pride by not chasing over him like a dog like what she did.
 
#26
It all leads to only one answer....LOW SELF ESTEEM and SELF HATE. Why would anybody want to be loved by someone who could only give part of themselves instead of all?! Anyway you look at it and analyze it, it all boils down to low self esteem. I love myself too much to fight over a man, either you love me wholeheartedly or not!
 
#27
shoegal said:
When I first began dating my mother told me something that has stayed with me for years. She always said to date and have fun but if we, I have two other sisters, ever felt we didn't want to be with a guy we were dating to do what we would want them to do to us and that is to leave that person a whole person. There is never any need, especially in a committed relationship, to make a person feel less than whole. I've always told my husband that as much as I love him I would never beg him to stay with me, not even for my children, I just asked to be left a whole person which would mean not cheated on or lied to. Just a thought. As to Kou's story, the integrity of that relationship was destroyed - its like a piece of wood, if you put a hole in it even if you patch it the integrity has been compromised. Do I believe that relationships can be stronger after someone cheats - no, different but not as strong as before.
Click to expand...
Amen!! to that!
 
#28
I believe that cheating on any level is DISGUSTING and if anyone is UNHAPPY then they should be able to discuss there problem and work it out or split ways. But what usually happens is that, the person responsible for the infidelity is usually too SELFISH and SELF CENTERED to do so, they choose to take the cowardly way out, "Having there cake and eating it too!"
 
#29
seahorseinstripes said:
gosh... i was just faced with this problem. my bf for 7 years told me that he thought he's in love with a girl that he just met for 7 days! i was so f***ed up and sad. i'm not even angry, i was just crying and he said he needed time to think and left me alone. i don't wanna tell any of my friends yet cause things would be too complicated until he left for 2 days and i stayed over at my friends to avoid the pain of being alone.
i was sooo hurst that it only took him 7 days to neglect our 7 yrs relationship.
he was so confused because he said he can't resist that girl's affection for him, i was so disappointed with him and then my anger turns to that girl too. she knew that he had a gf and been living together for years, and yet she kept on calling him although he already told her that i would be spending a night with him and my bf asked that girl to respect me by not disturbing him. and yet she did.
later, i ran from the house and stayed with my friends and decided to leave my bf alone with his thoughts, i never want to interfere him with his decisions. although he cheated on me, at least i have more pride by not chasing over him like a dog like what she did.
Click to expand...
Oh seahorse, that is so sad but unfortunately it happens not only to him. That's my biggest fear, that my BF would fall in love with some other girl one day and that's that. :crybaby: Keeping yourself busy does ease and dull the pain a bit. It makes you think of it less. She knows that he has a gf and shouldn't even have gotten involved.
 
#30
I have a friend who thoroughly enjoys being the other woman. She says she can have her fun and send him home for someone else who WANTS to cook and clean for him.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back