Struggling With Luxury: Time to Get Off the Merry-go-round?!

[Emily1830]

I think it gets excessive when one's buying simply to buy, especially when they've hit a certain point of collecting. When one has most everything they need, yet they are searching for something else to buy instead of enjoying what they have. There's a tendency of focusing on what's next. After buying for so long, it becomes ingrained and it's hard to drop the habit especially when factoring in FOMO. It's perfectly alright to take a break for awhile or forever, though.

My status was "almost purse content" for months as I was waiting on a pre-order, but now that it's arrived, with a couple of exceptions, I'm ready to take a break. I'm, "purse content. For now." If anything else gets released that I absolutely love, I'll consider it then. I'll still read about purses, take interest in the loves that others are finding, but I'm content with my collection right now. I go through this cycle periodically and I don't see anything wrong with it.

Yeah, I hear you. I do have the tendency to then go down the wishlist and obsess over the next item. Need to take a step back. Luckily I am mostly purse content. Of course I like other bags but I don’t need them. Just don’t want to be permanently on this cycle of want.

 

[Jeffy_H]

At the end of the day you started your collection because it made you happy. Whether it was the thrill of having something new or the joy of curating a beautiful collection, or just having the things themselves, it made you smile and you liked it. If things are starting to feel excessive or if the feeling you get making a purchase isn't what it used to be then maybe a change of pace is exactly what you need. I feel like a lot of us on here go out of our way to make informed decisions about our purchasing and still base a lot of what we do on gut feeling. Do what your heart tells you to do. Or just do what I do and switch to a new brand for a while.

 

[Molly0]

One can choose to buy expensive luxury items or not. . . In my mind there is nothing “wrong” or “right” about it. It doesn’t really matter either way (I used to think it was something to strive for but not so much anymore.). Certainly the energy of something beautiful is lovely to look at but not the most important thing. It brings to mind the singer/songwriter, Jewel, who was inspired to write the powerful words in her song “Hands” after coveting a $34.00 dress that she could not afford.
Her words in the song remind us that “Only kindness matters”.

 

[Purseonic Woman]

True—I’ve followed this logic too. However once you buy enough pieces, it does feel unnecessary and inwardly you know it’s not worth it. Again, one nice bag does feel better than 10 cheap ones, but does one really need 20 designer bags?

I have been careful as much as possible to save here and there, to wait for sales, points, or deals. Now Chanel no longer will be under Saks for points and Cartier left Saks too. Ugh.

When did the Saks points change? Curious, thanks!

 

[Purseonic Woman]

I have been buying luxury items for almost twenty years. During that time, I have bought designer shoes, bags, clothes, jewelry and SLGs. I love luxury items, am obsessed with TPF and Instagram, and just recently added a Cartier piece.

However, I am finding myself wondering whether it is all worth it. I know this is subjective, but with the upcoming price increases at some fashion houses like Chanel, I am beginning to feel “done” with luxury. I have a few items still on my wishlist, but I am wondering if I should stop or at least shop rarely from now on. I mean, I already have over twenty designer bags that I struggle to use. I have more shoes than can fit in my large shoe closet. It is starting to feel excessive. Also, these insane price increases make me feel like a duped customer who knows she is being duped and is willingly allowing it. I sometimes feel like I’m in an abusive relationship where I see the signs but do nothing about it. I mean, at what point do we stop paying these insane prices? Are shoes going to be $2k now? 3k? Will bags be easily over $10k soon? I don’t know what to think. At what point do we stop?

Does anyone else feel done with luxury? Or am I too mired in this world to separate? I would love to hear other people’s thoughts about this. When do luxury lovers say no to luxury?

I think the primary question is “why”?
Why do you shop for luxury items? Why do you continue to buy?
Each person will have a different answer for this.
The shopping scene has changed all over, especially luxury, and some things are worth the purchase; but if you feel the shopping has gotten excessive, then changes need to be made. Only you can answer your own questions in this.
I remember when Ferragamo Vara pumps would go on clearance for around $55 twenty odd years ago. The prices now make me cringe, but I wear what I have and make sure every purchase fits me and my lifestyle. I like some luxury because some certain things (bags, shoes, silks, jackets/coats) are more unique and/or beautiful than their counterparts and are (or should be) built to last. I purchase for the long haul.
Sometimes too much looking at everyone else’s stuff can drive us easily from the road of admiration off the cliff of covetousness.

 

[PoppyLadyBird]

I think of quality over quantity. I’d much rather have three good quality classics for casual day, fancier night (coat, cashmere, shoes, pants and LBD) that I can use for an extended period of time and if I want something that is trendy, I go to fast fashion for purchases that will go out of style. Although on a side note, TBH, any animal print is to me considered a classic, since I’ve seen it come and go every 7 years or so.
I’m pretty conservative and like to help my family financially where I can, so for me it’s easy to draw the line with purchasing too many lux items and getting satisfaction and enjoying the select pieces I have. Yes I covet lots of pieces but Id rather not be frazzled with too many choices on what to wear. HTH

 

[Tuned83]

I got fed up last year and really don't miss or crave anything. Have spent my money on holidays instead. We've been away a few times this year and have made some fun memories with our child. Who knows, I may start buying again. And that in itself is not a problem. I have had breaks in the past before when nothing was catching my eye. This one feels a little more long term though....let's see.

 

[remainsilly]

English word, "luxury," originated from Latin word, “Luxus” = indulgence of the senses, regardless of cost.

Your concerns seem to focus upon cost.
Which contradicts word's root meaning.

Basically, I do not buy what I do not want.
And do not keep what becomes a burden.
Solves most problems, imo.

Also, I do not accept that luxury goods always are better.
Adds more options for quality living, imo.

Could you get rid of all your luxury items, right now, & still feel valuable as a person?
If so, you are free.
If no, prices are not the real cage.

Best wishes.

 

[NOIRetMoi]

True—I’ve followed this logic too. However once you buy enough pieces, it does feel unnecessary and inwardly you know it’s not worth it. Again, one nice bag does feel better than 10 cheap ones, but does one really need 20 designer bags?

I have been careful as much as possible to save here and there, to wait for sales, points, or deals. Now Chanel no longer will be under Saks for points and Cartier left Saks too. Ugh.

I don’t buy a higher end stuff because it makes me ‘feel’ better. I like it better, but I also feel it’s money better spent than something mass produced of much lower quality and still very expensive for what it is. If tomorrow my situation changes (no one is immune to it), Dollar for Dollar, on most things, I’ll get more for the top of the line stuff than the lower end ones and if it doesn’t, I bought them for the long haul anyways. I don’t have 20 top of the line bags and doubt I’d ever get to that. Nothing against those who have them. I don’t think I could name you 20 bags I want if I tried...
Also tastes and things you want change and in that case I would sell the ones I no longer want and replace them with something else I can enjoy right now.

 

[jennlt]

When did the Saks points change? Curious, thanks!

+1 That's how I have purchased almost all of my Chanel, although I haven't bought anything new from them in the past year due to the outrageous price increases. If Chanel will no longer be participating in Saks points, then I am almost certainly done with them. It would have to be an exceptional piece to induce me to buy at current prices and with no points/rewards.

 

[Emily1830]

+1 That's how I have purchased almost all of my Chanel, although I haven't bought anything new from them in the past year due to the outrageous price increases. If Chanel will no longer be participating in Saks points, then I am almost certainly done with them. It would have to be an exceptional piece to induce me to buy at current prices and with no points/rewards.

I heard this but don’t know if it happened yet or will soon, but I know that Chanel wants to control their merchandise in department stores. Maybe someone with better intel can clarify this, but it was a topic on the Chanel forum. I know for sure Cartier no longer leases their boutique in Saks due to a legal dispute about space. So I wasn’t able to get any points for my latest Cartier purchase.

 

[Emily1830]

English word, "luxury," originated from Latin word, “Luxus” = indulgence of the senses, regardless of cost.

Your concerns seem to focus upon cost.
Which contradicts word's root meaning.

Basically, I do not buy what I do not want.
And do not keep what becomes a burden.
Solves most problems, imo.

Also, I do not accept that luxury goods always are better.
Adds more options for quality living, imo.

Could you get rid of all your luxury items, right now, & still feel valuable as a person?
If so, you are free.
If no, prices are not the real cage.

Best wishes.

I never knew about the Latin root for luxury. Interesting.

I think cost has to be a factor in most people’s decision making. Unless you are a billionaire with money to burn, most people need to consider the cost of an item. My problem is I still love luxury items, but find that the pricing has gotten so ridiculous to be frustrating. For example, I can afford a Chanel bag, but I no longer think it is worth the money they are charging. So yes, I made the decision not to buy anymore Chanel bags. But it does leave a sour taste in my mouth.

I guess what I am asking is when people feel like too much is too much. That goes for cost as well as the number of possessions. I know this is subjective, but I’d love to hear what other people think. I doubt I can forego luxury altogether, but I certainly find myself less likely to indulge in it. For example, I remember when $500 was the upper limit with shoes. Now it is closer to 1k. 2k for boots. I want a pair of Gucci Princetowns but I am having a hard time justifying the cost. Can I afford it? Yes. But should I? It is a question about perceived value for money. I just struggle with that.

 

[NOIRetMoi]

I never knew about the Latin root for luxury. Interesting.

I think cost has to be a factor in most people’s decision making. Unless you are a billionaire with money to burn, most people need to consider the cost of an item. My problem is I still love luxury items, but find that the pricing has gotten so ridiculous to be frustrating. For example, I can afford a Chanel bag, but I no longer think it is worth the money they are charging. So yes, I made the decision not to buy anymore Chanel bags. But it does leave a sour taste in my mouth.

I guess what I am asking is when people feel like too much is too much. That goes for cost as well as the number of possessions. I know this is subjective, but I’d love to hear what other people think. I doubt I can forego luxury altogether, but I certainly find myself less likely to indulge in it. For example, I remember when $500 was the upper limit with shoes. Now it is closer to 1k. 2k for boots. I want a pair of Gucci Princetowns but I am having a hard time justifying the cost. Can I afford it? Yes. But should I? It is a question about perceived value for money. I just struggle with that.

I think your feeling of ‘too much’ is because you feel you continue to pay more and more, yet you’re not getting more for the extra money you’re paying; you’re still getting the same thing, therefore you don’t think it’s worth it anymore.
I guess some people get to a point where they feel their collection is complete, others have an evolving one (me), while others will collect more and more and will never stop. I get to a point that I need to get rid of stuff because I can’t enjoy what I have (not necessarily just luxury items, just stuff in general) before I add anything else.

 

[TraceySH]

I think the below was an interesting article on the psychology of luxury buying AND the evolution of the luxury buyer. I think it's fair to assume that everyone evolves in most areas of their lives, or at least aspires to evolve, so why would buying patterns not also evolve in kind?

I think shopping, like sleep, eating, sex, music, exercise (and of course drinking, drugs, etc) are all forms of self-medicating, which is not a bad thing. (It's only bad when it becomes addictive and destabilizes other areas of your life) So it's doing things that enhance the way you feel. For me, I shop, work out, take long baths, take naps, go on hikes, play in my "lab" of essential oils, listen to music, which all change the way I feel in a good way. But if I listened to the same song over and over again, I would become desensitized to the (once amazing) effect of it. I think shopping can be like this. My first few Chanel bags I was so over the moon I might as well have kicked my husband out and slept with those. Now, it's like, meh. The declining quality and increasing prices likewise leave me feeling like such a sucker, because it removes at least some justification I need to spend that much. Way too much cognitive dissonance lately (you can ask my friends as I am in my own conflict about where I am with my lifelong luxury buying star fading out).

My friend showed me a pic of some ladies in LV last week spending tons of $$ at H on these exotics at what, 50k a pop, and they were all having so much fun. Before I might have said, wow, that would be so great if I had no limits like this. Right now I found myself seeing those pictures with some pity, as in, that is SO much money I hope I never become that much of a sucker or so desensitized that I validate these houses that easily make many of us think WE will be enhanced as a person b/c of certain "exclusive" ownership. I am not judging those ladies, by all means, this is MY perception of how I want to look at myself in the mirror only.

I am also evolving. I am right there with you. I am excited to "finish" and move on to something else. Scuba diving perhaps?? Bread making? Who knows.

https://www.luxurysociety.com/en/articles/2017/01/post-luxury-consumer/

 

[NOIRetMoi]

I think the below was an interesting article on the psychology of luxury buying AND the evolution of the luxury buyer. I think it's fair to assume that everyone evolves in most areas of their lives, or at least aspires to evolve, so why would buying patterns not also evolve in kind?

I think shopping, like sleep, eating, sex, music, exercise (and of course drinking, drugs, etc) are all forms of self-medicating, which is not a bad thing. (It's only bad when it becomes addictive and destabilizes other areas of your life) So it's doing things that enhance the way you feel. For me, I shop, work out, take long baths, take naps, go on hikes, play in my "lab" of essential oils, listen to music, which all change the way I feel in a good way. But if I listened to the same song over and over again, I would become desensitized to the (once amazing) effect of it. I think shopping can be like this. My first few Chanel bags I was so over the moon I might as well have kicked my husband out and slept with those. Now, it's like, meh. The declining quality and increasing prices likewise leave me feeling like such a sucker, because it removes at least some justification I need to spend that much. Way too much cognitive dissonance lately (you can ask my friends as I am in my own conflict about where I am with my lifelong luxury buying star fading out).

My friend showed me a pic of some ladies in LV last week spending tons of $$ at H on these exotics at what, 50k a pop, and they were all having so much fun. Before I might have said, wow, that would be so great if I had no limits like this. Right now I found myself seeing those pictures with some pity, as in, that is SO much money I hope I never become that much of a sucker or so desensitized that I validate these houses that easily make many of us think WE will be enhanced as a person b/c of certain "exclusive" ownership. I am not judging those ladies, by all means, this is MY perception of how I want to look at myself in the mirror only.

I am also evolving. I am right there with you. I am excited to "finish" and move on to something else. Scuba diving perhaps?? Bread making? Who knows.

https://www.luxurysociety.com/en/articles/2017/01/post-luxury-consumer/

Depending on the bag and where that person bought it, she can be walking out of the store with something worth 4x what she just paid. I don’t feel sorry for her at all!