so pissed at bf!

#31
thank you for all your replies. they were all very helpful in making me realize what our relationship has turned into.

chloehandbags- your replies were especially helpful because you have experienced what i am going through. looking back, you are absolutely right. it all boils down to control. i think i might've confused love with control. we once loved... we were once happy. i mean, we were together for 6 years... we lasted that long because there was something special at one point. where did it all go? when did it all end? (these are rhetorical questions.)

2 days ago, i broke up with him. the day after our plane ticket fight, we fought again. instead of watching tv/going out/spending free time/doing nothing after work, i asked him to proof read my essay. (like i said, i'm applying to grad school.) he said his schedule was too full playing games or whatever. he can't do me a favor? am i the one who wasn't making enough compromises in this relationship? if i drew the line over family issues... this was the breaking point.

those of you who said that to throw this relationship out the window i applaud you for your honestly. when i was told to spend precious holiday time with people i will never truly love nor have the responsibility to meet at this point in my life (like my bf's extended family), instead of spending a few more moments with the people who i love with all my heart, like my parents, my sib, and my bf who i once loved, i knew i couldn't continue living my life like this. it would be wrong to keep on neglecting my feelings and be with someone who couldn't help me when i was in need. normally, i regret fighting with my bf 2 days after.. but i feel very... peaceful. i feel i made the right decision.

for those who thought i was overreacting and was being a self fish, thanks for your honesty. this is what happens when put two people who will fail the test of time. i guess my bf and i, you and i, will simply not understand each other.

for those who felt sympathy and could relate to my position, thank you. your kind words were comforting.

anyway, thanks again for letting me just... let it out.
 
#32
Oh Sara, I hope you are alright..for what it's worth, I think you were being honest with yourself and sticking to what you felt was right, while also being able to listen to others opinions, without getting worked up over a different point of view in such a personal matter (not always easy..) You weren't happy, so you did something about it, hope you'll have time for some great nights out with the girls to celebrate your freedom!:party:
 
#33
^^ No problem. :flowers:

Maybe, you should have told him that proof reading your essay was your Christmas gift to him? ;)

When you are ready to move on, I hope you can find someone who is willing to respect your feelings and negotiate with you, instead of dictating to you and who is also willing to meet you half way. :yes:

BTW, I agree with all the people who said that meeting family is an unavoidable part of almost all long term relationships and that he was probably trying to arrange an enjoyable (for him, at least) get together with all the people he loves; but I think it should be remembered, that slavery is illegal and nobody is entitled to force their will on another, however much they believe themselves to be in the right.

I think it should also be remembered, that as he, apparently, viewed this get-together as a gift for you; that the whole point of gift-giving is to make the other person happy, not just yourself.
 
#34
Wow...I have to say, that even though I am jumping in really late on this, I can understand your position. Although it is important to be able to be around each other's family and be happy or at least comfortable, I do not spend the holidays with my BFs family, nor would I. Perhaps someday if we have children that need to see the whole family, then fine, but I like my holidays with my family and he feels the same, I think. We miss each other, but we are together the rest of the year, and when I lived far away, he came to see me around the holidays(and my family), and he bought HIS OWN ticket, just because he wanted to see me! I would have been a little upset that someone wanted to give me a gift that was "self-serving" too. Just being honest. That may be the wrong attitude to take, but it is the way I would feel.
 
#36
I'm sorry, but it really sounds like you are the one who keeps the relationship going, while he's just waiting lazily for you to come. Plus, I do not beleive too much in long-distance relationship. It seems that you are mostly irritated than happy to continue all this. Maybe it's his turn to prove that you mean something for him? If he won't do it, I do not see why to continue..
 
#39
As I was reading through the thread, I was thinking about what to write but I see that you found your resolution. I'm glad that you got different opinions here but came to your own conclusion. I just wanted to wish you the best! :flowers:
 
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