Secret Jewels- How many? How do you finally reveal?

Secret Stash

  • Secret Stash Is A Must? I have one!

  • Why Would You Ever Have A Secret Stash? No way would I have one!

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#47
lily25 said:
But for those who just splurged with their own spending money it is a different thing isn't it?
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But if it's your own money, and it isn't going to affect the family budget/goals, then why hide it? My husband couldn't tell a Cartier from a Claire's, and he goes into mild shock when I tell him I'm drooling over a silly flower shaped diamond-less necklace for $15,000, but he knows that if I run off and buy it, I've done the necessary homework and deemed it worth the expense.

I just don't understand the sneakiness - maybe it isn't a trust thing more than enjoying the naughty-kid-with-a-secret feeling again?
 
#48
AntiqueShopper said:
Thank you everyone for your responses. I think it is so interesting that more than 1/2 of us do have a secret stash of some type. Keep the responses coming.

BTW- How do you reveal the stash?
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Veru interesting indeed. :yes:

schadenfreude13 said:
But if it's your own money, and it isn't going to affect the family budget/goals, then why hide it? My husband couldn't tell a Cartier from a Claire's, and he goes into mild shock when I tell him I'm drooling over a silly flower shaped diamond-less necklace for $15,000, but he knows that if I run off and buy it, I've done the necessary homework and deemed it worth the expense.

I just don't understand the sneakiness - maybe it isn't a trust thing more than enjoying the naughty-kid-with-a-secret feeling again?
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Nice to see you single me out but not reading all my posts :laugh:

Anyways I wore both my new pices today, and he said they were wonderful but I should let this kind of big purchases to him, not use my money. Which is very sweet of him, just shows how loving and generous he is.:smile1:
 
#50
I actually have not gone secret yet, but I do feel really scared when I reveal to my DH the price of these jewelery that I just purchased. Even though I spend my own money, I still feels bad when I spend 5-figure on something every time. I went secret for a while like a week or 2, and I feel guilty so I told him.
 
#51
Yes I have a secret stash! Learned that the hard way and told him too much in the past! Created unnecessary drama! Less info the better at times. As long as it doesn't hurt our goal or creates debt or financial hardship it's fine what I spend but I still don't tell him everything. He acknowledges my obsession for Hermes but still can't justify spending thousands of dollars on bags so it's a sensitive and touchy subject. I think he resents Hermes! With jewelry, I tell him what I like and he plans to get those for me. He understands that for some reason. but with watches and Hermes, I save up myself and don't discuss with him about it. As long as our household savings is still there and untouched he can't question me! Haha!
 
#53
Depended on which husband.
The first one, I was a little sneaky...especially when I knew the "romance" was over.
The second one is worse then I am! I can restrain myself (not much) better then he can.
As undisciplined as I am...I never tap into my household expenses.
Cute and interesting thread, AS!
 
#54
I don't think we're all dishonest or don't respect them if we don't share every purchase w/ our DHs. My DH and I don't share the same opinions on spending. I don't over-spend or spend on myself only. And he sort of trained me years ago when he'd roll his eyes anytime I'd buy something new.
The stuff I "smuggle" in are NOT big ticket items, nothing that would impact our bottom line. It's clothing for me and I don't buy pricey clothes. I don't feel like I'm disrespecting our marriage if I don't walk out of the closet saying "look at my new shirt!!" lol!
Let's let the judging go once in a while :D
 
#55
skyqueen said:
Depended on which husband.
The first one, I was a little sneaky...especially when I knew the "romance" was over.
The second one is worse then I am! I can restrain myself (not much) better then he can.
As undisciplined as I am...I never tap into my household expenses.
Cute and interesting thread, AS!
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Thank you, :D!

Swanky Mama Of Three said:
I don't think we're all dishonest or don't respect them if we don't share every purchase w/ our DHs. My DH and I don't share the same opinions on spending. I don't over-spend or spend on myself only. And he sort of trained me years ago when he'd roll his eyes anytime I'd buy something new.
The stuff I "smuggle" in are NOT big ticket items, nothing that would impact our bottom line. It's clothing for me and I don't buy pricey clothes. I don't feel like I'm disrespecting our marriage if I don't walk out of the closet saying "look at my new shirt!!" lol!
Let's let the judging go once in a while :D
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Thank you for this quote. My intent of this thread was not meant to make people think of their behaviors as disrespect to their marriage/SO. I do not think I am disrespecting him by sneaking in my few purchases.

My DF does the same thing; he does not understand the concept of rewarding yourself.
 
#56
Swanky you nailed it!:tup:
DH does understand rewarding, and loves to spend and splurge. He has a budget and he is highly organized, so as long as we keep on the budget, both of us can spend as we like.
 
#57
schadenfreude13 said:
But if it's your own money, and it isn't going to affect the family budget/goals, then why hide it? My husband couldn't tell a Cartier from a Claire's, and he goes into mild shock when I tell him I'm drooling over a silly flower shaped diamond-less necklace for $15,000, but he knows that if I run off and buy it, I've done the necessary homework and deemed it worth the expense.

I just don't understand the sneakiness - maybe it isn't a trust thing more than enjoying the naughty-kid-with-a-secret feeling again?
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I guess because my DH feels the same way - but doesn't accept that just because I've deemed it worth the expense, that it is. He's happy for me to have pretty things but if he knew how much they were he wouldn't be able to handle it! I basically take say 5% of my BONUSES (not even salary) and buy something pretty with it... if I "asked" him he'd want to put it on the mortgage, even though the other 95% already went there. He can't help himself! He's chronically responsible.

I think there is a LITTLE bit of the naughty kid thing too! ;) I know I often feel guilty but also feel like I deserve a little treat every now and then since in so many ways I really have two jobs... I get 2-3 hours less sleep a night than him... enable enable I know! haha....
 
#58
lily25 said:
Nice to see you single me out but not reading all my posts :laugh:
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I wasn't singling you out - that was your response to my previous post and I just addressed that exact question of whether or not it was different if it was my own spending money. It wasn't addressed to you, just answering whether or not I thought it was different.
 
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