RANT: People who don't RSVP

Sanguar

Member
Feb 27, 2006
1,168
3
UGh. My wedding is in 5 days and I STILL haven't heard from some people. I have called, emailed, to no avail. I called my mother and grandmother to get them involved. EVEN my mother says 'well that's just how our people are. It's a buffet, it's ok. They can just show up." That's great! What about the seating arrangements, charts, assignments?????? We have a caterer and are paying by the head. I have to have a confirmed number to him TODAY. I have favors to make and things to print. I sent invitations a LONG time again with an addressed STAMPED envelope. It's not that difficult people! check the damn box and send it back.

And this doesn't even count the only 3 RSVPs we've received from the rehearsal dinner invites.

Please, please, please RSVP!
 
It is totally irresponsible for people to not RSVP and then just "show up." People get ruder and ruder every single day, I swear! I feel your pain. I'm one of the (few) people that ALWAYS RSVPs when asked to! ;)
 
I think there are two schools of thought with RSVPs:

1) They know they are coming, so don't send one b/c they somehow "know" you will know.
2) They won't be coming, so don't send one b/c they somehow "know" you will know.

Basically I think people just don't realize it's important to meal planning and seating. If they did, they'd be more considerate.
 
i am really sorry that you are not getting response to your invites. i always try to respond in a timely manner. but i was a bad girl last week and just threw an invite and rsvp card into the trash. i almost feel bad but we don't know the bride or groom and they live 8 hours from us. my husband worked with the groom's father many years ago but he has been dead for 3 years now. they send invites for all graduations and weddings for their 4 children. we have sent gifts for all occasions although we have not seen them since they were toddlers. the last straw was not all of the thank you notes we didn't receive but the last one did send a note telling us how they remember us from the lake when they were kids. wrong people here we have never been near a lake with them. too much. i'm sorry i can't respond to someone sending invites for gifts from people they don't know. i am sure you are not doing this i just needed to rant. sorry! queen
 
It is incredibly gauche not to rsvp, especially when there is a pre printed card and a self-addressed stamped envelope for your guests' convenience!! :rant:

I know we all have busy lives but that does not excuse proper etiquette. Call me old school, I don't care. These are basic courtesies that are often overlooked these days.

What is their problem...are they waiting for a better offer for that day/night???
 
Oh that is terrible! I feel your pain with the stress of wedding planning. I am just beginning and I already need a break. It's fun but EVERYONE has an opinion about how our day should be.
 
This happened to me too many many years ago. It is enormously frustrating and can be very expensive if you're paying by the plate.

I just wish some bride would have the guts to create a table just for non-RSVPers who do show up. It would purposely feature a mismatched tablecloth, odd colored folding chairs, and perhaps an unnumbered table marker that says "Didn't Bother to RSVP."
 
Maybe next time you should write something like: "if you don't RSVP by x/x/x then I am assuming you are not coming"

It's so rude of people not to RSVP to a wedding. So rude! Weddings are expensive and so stressful to plan. People should know this!

Don't stress. Add some extra for the non RSVPs. Base your seating arrangements on the people who did RSVP (and those you are pretty certain will show up) and add some extra tables for the non RSVPs.
 
I think that is so rude of people!!

Just yesterday we had a wedding shower for my future sister-in-law. She is marrying my youngest brother at the end of Sept. On the invitation it said regrets only and a phone number. At least 10 people did not call to say they would not be attending the shower. It would have taken them probably 10 seconds to make that phone call ....

I think people's manners and consideration of others and the work involved with any kind of social activity, has really gone downhill. In this day and age it's actually much easier to communicate with other people than before - you can phone, e-mail, text message, etc.

I wish I could tell you to turn the people away who show up for your wedding when they didn't RSVP but I'm sure you are too kind and wouldn't want the kind of scene that would cause. I just don't understand people who are so rude and inconsiderate. Peggy