Question regarding tacky people and carat size....

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#16
Swanky Mama Of Three said:
in Italy I got uncomfortable, seems shop owners were trying to point to it subtley, I was uncomfortable. That's why I started collecting the bands, so I can leave the solitaire at home or in hotel safe. If I went to my hometown it would also get more attention than I'd be comfortable with.
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In Italy, 3+ carats is massive!! When my mom returns to Milan, where she was born and raised, everyone stares at her e-ring, which is somewhere between 5-6cts. They just don't see large stones over there, even in the larger cities.

It's definitely location! In LA, NYC or Toronto, I wear my larger diamond studs and nothing is said, nobody even looks twice at them. However, when my boyfriend and I go to Buffalo, to visit friends, I always get tons of stares.
 
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#18
Swanky Mama Of Three said:
I've been asked only a few times and it's never bothered me. :shrugs:
Mine is 3.65 and I don't really even get all that much attention. Wonder if it's where you are?
Like when I visited Tulsa I felt keenly aware of how ostentatious it was, but where I'm at, here, it's not a big deal. KWIM?
The people who've asked weren't obnoxious about it. They had complimented and then asked, stuff like that doesn't bother me I guess{?} If they asked how much it costs that'd be a whole 'nother story! :lecture:
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i agree. mine is 3 ct. and even though people don't necessarily ask me how big it is, i can see their reaction when i'm wearing it. however, when i'm visiting places like vegas or nyc, it's just a spec in their eyes.

swanky, i know what you mean about dallas, as well. one of my best friends lived there for 3 years and i'll never forget it, she told me how all the women wear diamond rings the size of ice cubes (which she LOVED, btw)! till this day i still use that term to describe a really large diamond. i loved it!

Swanky Mama Of Three said:
in Italy I got uncomfortable, seems shop owners were trying to point to it subtley, I was uncomfortable. That's why I started collecting the bands, so I can leave the solitaire at home or in hotel safe. If I went to my hometown it would also get more attention than I'd be comfortable with.
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that is why i didn't wear it when i went to england for two weeks. and i'm glad i didn't. it's apparent that in europe large diamond rings are not the norm there. i just wore my two eternity bands together and it was just fine. besides, i didn't want to have to worry about it being in another country either.
 
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#21
Swanky Mama Of Three said:
^^yeah, we got rid of the big hair here but picked up big bling! LOL!
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But I love the big hair!!! I agree the south people love big stones. :nuts: I love Texas!! To the OP, I would kind of blow off the question.I have people ask me all the time how can I afford this and that. PPl are friggen nosey. huh. I would probally say this little thing. I keep the big rock at home.Hehe
 
#24
I don't understand. Why is that tacky? What's so tacky about admiring someone's ring and asking the size? :shrugs:

I ask this out of curiosity kuz I've never asked the size of any ring, but it's not kuz I think it's tacky, but kuz I truly don't care.
 
#25
I would personally never ask. I would admire subtly. People may mean no harm and their questions may be entirely innocent, but IMO it's still a bit gormless to gawk "Oh my goodness, how big IS that?!!!???"

I don't mind inane questions from children but after the age of about 14 I expect tact, decorum and good manners.
 
#26
I still don't see how asking--just asking, no nasty comments--automatically means a person lacks tact, decorum and/or good manners. But to each her own :yes:.
 
#27
Mmmm... I might not express myself well but I'm just very wary of people who dress up blunt and intrusive questions with wide-eyed innocence of being 'just curious'. Women, in particular, can be very snide in a disingenuous way that is almost impossible to pinpoint directly. And really, asking questions just because is inane and tedious. Kids ask 'Why is the sky blue? Why is that woman so fat? Why does that man drink so much? Why does daddy sleep in a different bed to mummy?' Those questions are of the same genre: blunt, direct, tactless. Why is it excused? Because children are asking. Are we children? No, we're adults. Different behaviour is appropriate - if I were to ask 'How much money do you make?' or 'How often do you and your partner have sex?' would it be acceptable as long as I add the 'What's the big deal, I'm just curious.' afterwards? No, and really a blunt question of carat size of another person's ring is no different. It's tactless at best. And I know, good manners don't have anywhere near the importance they used to (in fact, I think these days many people can't even tell what is good manners and what isn't) but to me, they still count.

My position is always, if I'm asking a question, why am I asking? Is it necessary? Is it my business? Curiousity can be phrased nicely and nastily and in the absence of personal experience (this being a web forum after all) I prefer discretion and subtlety in behaviour over gauche OTT 'Well, I was just asking!'.
 
#29
I don't see why revealing carat size would matter.... it's always the cut and clarity that makes a difference in value. Mine is over 2.5 ct and I always answer that it's an heirloom and priceless... it came from his mother's mom from Russia. I don't think I could ever reveal the true estimated price of it!
 
#30
It is not tacky to ask about the size cut color etc of a diamond, we talk about those things all the time here is TPF and I don't see any problems with that.

In Europe it is quite unusual to wear engagement rings larger than 1 carat. I used to get 3rd degree questioning for my original e ring, that is a very very modest vintage 0.50 c ring. The upgrade is (for local standards) huge, 3.51c the main stone 4.25 TW,and if I get the "evil" vibe from someone asking questions I will lie and say it's not real, just costume jewelery.

You should wear you ring with pride and love.
 
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