OMG I'm in a little trouble with BF - haha.
- Thread starter winternight
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winternight said:
Ummm ... no.
First, I don't understand why you're letting the ex stay at your place, and second, I don't understand why you're letting him stay when your current bf is not happy about the idea. Whose feelings do you care about more??
That's a real b!tchy thing to do IMO! Sorry, no support here!
I'm going to agree with everyone. It is totally inappropriate for your ex to be staying there since it is not okay with your current bf. You really need to take your bf feelings into consideration. How would you like it if he did that to you? Or did something else to deliberately upset you?
I have to agree as well that is not a good situation no matter how good of friends you guys remained. You need to respect your current boyfriend and yourselft especially. Unless you still have feelings for this Ex and you are wanting to get him back. Mind games are very bad for a realationship you wouldn't want him to think it will be ok if the tables were reversed would you??
Aww, this probably wasnt the response you were looking for when you posted this, right? 
I've never been in this situation, but I know I'd try to avoid it. Even though we can all argue the fact that "well, if my boyfriend really trusts me, he wouldnt get mad," I know that *I'd* pissed if my boyfriend's ex girlfriend slept over at his place.
And I'd be even madder if he found humor in my jealously!
So I couldnt really expect my bf to react differently than I would.
Just consider his feelings.
I've never been in this situation, but I know I'd try to avoid it. Even though we can all argue the fact that "well, if my boyfriend really trusts me, he wouldnt get mad," I know that *I'd* pissed if my boyfriend's ex girlfriend slept over at his place.
And I'd be even madder if he found humor in my jealously!
So I couldnt really expect my bf to react differently than I would.
Just consider his feelings.
koukanamiya said:
I totally agree with you. Mindgames, that's what it is, and that is so wrong anyway you look at it. Winternight, if you cared about your bf, you would not have put him in that position. Ring or no ring (don't use a ring to justify your actions) Treat people like you want to be treated with dignity and a whole lot of respect
I'm not a game player. I live by "do unto others" as much as I can, especially someone I love. if you start this kind of thing up, expect it in return ten fold.
Aside from the question of whether or not an ex *should* be spending the night at your place....the bigger question at the moment is whether or not you should do something that you know will hurt your BF's feelings.
Sometimes a couple may have different viewpoints on something. But when you go ahead and deliberately do something that you know is going to hurt the other person..that's not cool. You're basically showing your boyfriend that it's more important to you to give your ex a free place to stay than to respect his feelings.
Part of being in a relationship is considering how our actions affect the other person in the relationship.
I don't get the ring comment. Just because you don't have a ring doesn't mean it's okay to disrespect his feelings.
Sometimes a couple may have different viewpoints on something. But when you go ahead and deliberately do something that you know is going to hurt the other person..that's not cool. You're basically showing your boyfriend that it's more important to you to give your ex a free place to stay than to respect his feelings.
Part of being in a relationship is considering how our actions affect the other person in the relationship.
I don't get the ring comment. Just because you don't have a ring doesn't mean it's okay to disrespect his feelings.
Ditto. Think about what if his ex is sleeping over at his place tomorrow night? What would you call that then? Being even? But not really, both sides would be hurting. Not having this occur on both sides is being even too.bagnshoofetish said:
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