MY Boss called me a Ni%%a!!

#76
SoxFan777 said:
Elara is right... It's a myth that you have to "speak up" before his behavior becomes inappropriate.

There are some things (grabbing boobs, using the n-word) that are JUST wrong... The "you have to speak up" applies to things that are NOT black and white (ie., a comment like, "You're mexican, so you like burritos, right" would be a GRAY area... probably not meant to harm, but still might be considered offensive)

Complain, do your job (as my mom would say "keep your head down", and he should be written up in no time. If he keeps doing it, he'll be written up again and eventually they'll have to let him go.

Good luck and keep us posted!
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I'd still have to get some more info to be sure abt it. I mean, he might actually think he was trying to be friendly and playful by saying what he did. We still don't know the context (unless I missed it).
Honestly, it really depends on how you were brought up. I'm white, but growing up, I used to have a few close black friends and we used to listen to hip hop, so eventually, we'd joke around and throw the N word out to each other, but in that case, it was cool cause the people involved knew without a doubt that I wasn't being racial. Actually, until about 8 years ago, I still didn't think it a big deal to say between friends. Obviously, now I know that all black people are not like my friends from the neighborhood and might take offense to it. So yeah, I think there are still some grey areas when it comes to this. You really can't compare this to boob grabs. It's not like grabbing boobs is ok within the female gender. "Sally..what up, girl!?" *grabs boobs*. Ya know?
Unless this guy is obviously saying this to offend her, then I think the best starting point is to nicely tell him that he's not being cool or friendly by saying what he said. Once it's stated in clear terms, if he continues to violate her feelings and the feelings of others, then it should be taken higher.
 
#78
:wtf:I am at a loss for words! I can't believe that someone in this day and age would believe for a moment that that is acceptable behavior. I'm sick to my stomach. I would definitely talk to someone about it. Maybe the HR department? He needs a swift reprimand/termination.
 
#79
simseema17 said:
It doesn't matter what his intentions were, its completely inappropriate in the workplace.
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It does matter his intentions, and no one is arguing the inappropriateness here. The issue is whether to compromise a man's livelihood over something he possibly, legitimately didn't know was offending someone. How often do you see that word being used between two black people? How often do you hear it in the hip hop culture? If he was truly saying that in an attempt to bond or be down with his employees, I don't see the need for HR to be called in and document, when it could be something easily remedied with a one on one talk between the OP and him. Again, I don't know all the details here, so I can't say that with conviction.
 
#80
Charles said:
It.... I don't see the need for HR to be called in and document, when it could be something easily remedied with a one on one talk between the OP and him. .
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apparently, it has been mentioned already but he ignored them:

....once again he had another Ni%%a rant, but this time with another employee but he was repeating a line from a movie. So now he's in hot water but now to top it off it repeats what he said to another young lady even after we complained to him about it.
 
#81
Not all companies are run by waspy white men. I worked for a company and my boss was Hispanic. She was also antisemitic. She made an extremily offensive remark to a Jewish colleague and me one day. It came out of her mouth so easily, I'm not even sure she knew what she said. My coworker and I discussed it and decided to take no action. We decided that she was an ignorant, foolish woman and we couldn't take her seriously. In many ways, I think we took the easy way out. I also believe we would not have prevailed. In this case, I would suggest that you do what we did not. Talk with your boss and tell him how you felt and ask him to refrain from such remarks in the future. Then, take it from there. I have discovered in my years in the workplace, that HR is not always a friend/support to the employee.
 
#82
Here's my completely crass take on this situation in terms of a lawsuit: if you sue, you want to sue the company, not the manager, because the company is where the money is. You have to prove that the company was negligent by keeping this racist jerk around. But if you have no proof that the company knew about his actions towards Af-Am employees and didn't take appropriate action, then you're not going to win against the company. So go internal first, then sue if you are wrongfully terminated or discriminated against subsequently.

I'm really sorry this happened, btw, but I think you've got to follow internal channels first, then go external if the situation isn't resolved. It obviously should never have happened in the first place, it was wrong all around.
 
#84
Sorry this happened to you but as far as a lawsuit goes did you have damages? I mean how can you quantify a racial slur? Unless you get fired as a result of filing a complaint with your company I can then see you suing them for being retaliatory. I can't see an attorney taking this case on that basis of him calling you that awful word but honestly I would just give him a swift kick in the rear .
 
#87
I have some insight on this due to personal experience I did not complain and in hindsight I should have. It is the only way to protect yourself from retaliatory discharge. You will have a much harder time proving your case of this guy fires you and later you tell your side. Let he know what is happening now so youre on the record if he tries to fire you. If he does you will have a case for sure. If you are not trusting internal HR go to corporate. For the record it doesn't matter what his intention was and I can assure you he knows it is wrong.
 
#88
The problem I have with the 'n' word (and this is coming from an italian girl here) is that white people can not possibly understand the history of discriminiation and opression associated with this word. We can not even begin to imagin the deep seeded pain this may cause an individual for whatever reason. For some African Americans it must really hit a nerve - and we can not begin to understand that... so IMO it should just be left alone.

Your boss over stepped the line. I say the first thing to do is talk directly to him (I would have called him on it immediately)... and then go higher. You should always stand up for yourself and your rights - He was testing the water - seeing how far he could go - and by you being quiet and not correcting him he probably felt he had permission to say it again... which he did - even if he meant it in jest. All it takes is for you to say "that is not appropriate and I take offense" ... and he would probably never say it again.

I have people call me a 'wog' all the time - and it does not offend me one bit - but when people call me a 'ding'.... my blood boils.
 
#90
UPDATE::

I brought it up to him, he was like im sorry(with an attitude) he basically brushed me off.

I put my two weeks on febuary 26th, but I left today I couldnt stand looking at him anymore but I miss everyone. I could cry right now

On my exiting interveiw, I put why I left which included the whole lil N word stint, and Im gonna get my dad to write a letter to
headquarters for me

Im kinda happy I left, I was kinda sick to my stomach. So I'll keep you posted when everything is said and done thanks for the support everyone

P.S. My exiting interveiw is suppose to be faxed to headquarters
 
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