Michael Fassbender
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- good call!
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-...-about-what-was-in-michael-fassbenders-pants/
Ah, meeting Mr Fassbender. At the crowded smoking area in the cold outside the function room, where the glamorous gathered to smoke, I found myself at his elbow. He was happily chatting with a circle of people, some of whom were at my table. I paused, I listened, and when no suitable break in conversation could be found, I tugged his sleeve like a child.
He turned and smiled at me, and I said that I just wanted to say hello. He smiled some more and so did I, but my mind was empty of all words, adjectives, capitals, nouns, tenses, commas, and just any punctuation in general.
Instead, I had this overwhelming image of his phallus. It was the metaphorical size of the elephant in the room, pun intended. As words failed me, the image grew and grew in importance and stature. It was palpable between us as my brain grew this impediment to speech. Finally, he asked my name and I stammered it, but then excused myself, blushing.
So this is my question. Men, by many accounts, are prone to see women—especially attractive women—by the sum of their body parts. I have read repeatedly and have been told ad nauseum that men see not the face, but the rack, not the smile, but the legs. They have an advanced peripheral visual acuity which allows them to view the body parts, without necessarily allowing the eyes to drift too obviously.
With such sensitivity, how on earth do men make sensible conversation when presented with a beautiful woman? Or have I answered my own question thinking about the generations of tongue-tied would-be suitors in this world.
♦◊♦
Girding my metaphorical loins to counter Mr. Fassbender’s imagined ones, I returned to the scene of my speechlessness and requested a photograph. He kindly obliged. I was still incapable of coherent, elegant or intelligent conversation, so I finished off by asking Mr. Fassbender if he would launch my book. Maybe I wanted to prolong the conversation, maybe I wanted to let him know there lurked a brain behind my inane grinning, and definitely I wanted some legitimate way of contacting him again so I could ask him to play the lead in the film version. He agreed before legging it in the opposite direction at high speed. He must have known the silent ones are the most deadly, taking his rapid leave before my motor skills returned and I could summon up new and more fanciful requests. A dance, a date, or marriage perhaps?
So having being in the place of awe where my entire being had been focused on the unmentioned phallus of Mr. Fassbender, I must reluctantly applaud you men. Genetically predisposed to dissecting women into genital titillation, I wonder how you can function at all in the presence of a beautiful woman.
If I had stayed any longer, I fear that the old Beverly Brothers’ line would have made an appearance. “If I said you have a beautiful body, Mr. Fassbender, would you hold it against me?”
However, having since regained my capacity for words (as you’ve just read), I now just wait for Mr. Fassbender’s availability to launch my novel, aptly entitled Running out of Road. Maybe the next time we might even have a conversation.
Ah, meeting Mr Fassbender. At the crowded smoking area in the cold outside the function room, where the glamorous gathered to smoke, I found myself at his elbow. He was happily chatting with a circle of people, some of whom were at my table. I paused, I listened, and when no suitable break in conversation could be found, I tugged his sleeve like a child.
He turned and smiled at me, and I said that I just wanted to say hello. He smiled some more and so did I, but my mind was empty of all words, adjectives, capitals, nouns, tenses, commas, and just any punctuation in general.
Instead, I had this overwhelming image of his phallus. It was the metaphorical size of the elephant in the room, pun intended. As words failed me, the image grew and grew in importance and stature. It was palpable between us as my brain grew this impediment to speech. Finally, he asked my name and I stammered it, but then excused myself, blushing.
So this is my question. Men, by many accounts, are prone to see women—especially attractive women—by the sum of their body parts. I have read repeatedly and have been told ad nauseum that men see not the face, but the rack, not the smile, but the legs. They have an advanced peripheral visual acuity which allows them to view the body parts, without necessarily allowing the eyes to drift too obviously.
With such sensitivity, how on earth do men make sensible conversation when presented with a beautiful woman? Or have I answered my own question thinking about the generations of tongue-tied would-be suitors in this world.
♦◊♦
Girding my metaphorical loins to counter Mr. Fassbender’s imagined ones, I returned to the scene of my speechlessness and requested a photograph. He kindly obliged. I was still incapable of coherent, elegant or intelligent conversation, so I finished off by asking Mr. Fassbender if he would launch my book. Maybe I wanted to prolong the conversation, maybe I wanted to let him know there lurked a brain behind my inane grinning, and definitely I wanted some legitimate way of contacting him again so I could ask him to play the lead in the film version. He agreed before legging it in the opposite direction at high speed. He must have known the silent ones are the most deadly, taking his rapid leave before my motor skills returned and I could summon up new and more fanciful requests. A dance, a date, or marriage perhaps?
So having being in the place of awe where my entire being had been focused on the unmentioned phallus of Mr. Fassbender, I must reluctantly applaud you men. Genetically predisposed to dissecting women into genital titillation, I wonder how you can function at all in the presence of a beautiful woman.
If I had stayed any longer, I fear that the old Beverly Brothers’ line would have made an appearance. “If I said you have a beautiful body, Mr. Fassbender, would you hold it against me?”
However, having since regained my capacity for words (as you’ve just read), I now just wait for Mr. Fassbender’s availability to launch my novel, aptly entitled Running out of Road. Maybe the next time we might even have a conversation.
Fun story.
But it's hard for me to understand why some people reacts this way just because someone is famous.
They are just humans.
But it's hard for me to understand why some people reacts this way just because someone is famous.
They are just humans.
at the IFTA anecdote!Anyone read TC script? It definitely has the potential to become something great. It packs a punch to the gut but I agree that in its current state, it is a bit of a hot mess (it reads like a 1st draft - amazing at parts, dull at others). A hot mess that, given the right nips and tweaks, could become an absolute classic. Those who have read it: wouldn't you rather see Michael in the role of Reiner? Who else would you envision for the other parts, especially Malkina?
Ok, this type of writing was maybe funny when promotion of Shame started but now it's getting really old. And kind of desperate. Seriously, woman in her forties acting like a freaking Twi Mom. 
huh::weird:
huh::weird: She's an Irish novelist/freelance journalist based in Dublin.
Ok, this type of writing was maybe funny when promotion of Shame started but now it's getting really old. And kind of desperate. Seriously, woman in her forties acting like a freaking Twi Mom.
Hehe, in her defense, Shame had just come out in their cinemas about 3 weeks prior to the IFTAs 
Btw, were you the one who posted pictures of Jack Huston @SAG a couple pages prior? I just finished Boardwalk Empire s.1 ... and you're right, the show is FABULOUS! Buscemi is excellent as always and Michael Pitt is revelatory .--
... Anyway, I was reading Tom Hardy's star market feature on Vulture, and some Hollywood agent categorized him, alongside Michael and Christian Bale, as " part of a group of “unconventional leading men, like Jeremy Renner (41) and Michael Fassbender (34), and Christian Bale (38) — guys who might not have been the prettiest kids at 25, but who at 35 are somewhere between ‘leading man’ and ‘character actor."
What the heck are these agents smoking?
Hmm if she is a journalist I'm pretty sure she had heard about Shame before it was released in Ireland. Michael is charming and sexy but not the second coming of the Christ.
I posted a pic of Jack Huston but I don't watch Boardwalk :shame: With Mad Men and Game of Thrones coming up, I'm not interested in it.
... Anyway, I was reading Tom Hardy's star market feature on Vulture, and some Hollywood agent categorized him, alongside Michael and Christian Bale, as " part of a group of unconventional leading men, like Jeremy Renner (41) and Michael Fassbender (34), and Christian Bale (38) guys who might not have been the prettiest kids at 25, but who at 35 are somewhere between leading man and character actor."
What the heck are these agents smoking?
More like they didn't have top agents to get them A list scripts when they were 25.
I want Fassbender to launch my next dirty book, lol.
He is talked about a lot over at Heroes and Heartbreakers, which is a big romance-readers website. He does seem to set all types of women into a swoony state of mind.
Very cute IFTA speech.
He is talked about a lot over at Heroes and Heartbreakers, which is a big romance-readers website. He does seem to set all types of women into a swoony state of mind.
Very cute IFTA speech.
ONTD is on a completely other scale. The hatred there is vicious and it's not even worth popping your head in. I'm done talking about other boards, cause I know I'm already breaking some kind of rule for bringing it up. Oops!
ITA!
Oh and sorry Swanky, I forgot about that rule.
An adorable IFTA speech:
How adorable it this? Thanks for posting, Mustard!
I guess we all know now that the piggy-back guy was his agent.
I want Fassbender to launch my next dirty book, lol.
He is talked about a lot over at Heroes and Heartbreakers, which is a big romance-readers website. He does seem to set all types of women into a swoony state of mind.
Very cute IFTA speech.
Good luck with that! You never know.
I think I want him to launch my book too. I haven't written one yet, but give me time.
She's an Irish novelist/freelance journalist based in Dublin.
--
... Anyway, I was reading Tom Hardy's star market feature on Vulture, and some Hollywood agent categorized him, alongside Michael and Christian Bale, as " part of a group of unconventional leading men, like Jeremy Renner (41) and Michael Fassbender (34), and Christian Bale (38) guys who might not have been the prettiest kids at 25, but who at 35 are somewhere between leading man and character actor."
What the heck are these agents smoking?
I would agree with that statement concerning Renner. Can't believe he is 41 already! |Don't agree with it concerning Fassbender. I actually think Michael was 'prettier' in his 20s than he is now. Age has just made him more interesting to look at. I don't really have an opinion regarding Bale. He's looked pretty much the same since he was kid.
Attend the book launch or something? What kind of book did she write anyway? I doubt he'll show up to the event, especially not if it's chick lit. Perhaps Fabio is available instead.
Ok, this type of writing was maybe funny when promotion of Shame started but now it's getting really old. And kind of desperate. Seriously, woman in her forties acting like a freaking Twi Mom.
ITA! Enough with the peen mentions already. It's only on screen for a few seconds. Get over it people!
To defend the woman. I mentioned before that a producer in her 50s met Michael at a BAFTA screening of Shame and she was tong-tied the minute he looked her in the eyes. *Schwing*
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