Johnny Depp

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#1,292
shiny_things said:
The thing with DV is that it's often accompanied with emotional abuse. Anyone can be a victim, anyone. No matter how savvy, educated or whatever. Even women who say 'that would never be me, I'd leave' get in those situations and don't leave.
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If you mean that even the least likely people can fall victim to DV, then I agree although "least likely" is based on what's visible on the surface and we can't know what's going on beneath the surface. As for women who declare that would never be them, do you know any who declare in advance that they would stay with a hypothetical abuser?

But if you mean that no one is exempt from finding themselves in an abusive situation that they can't leave, then I disagree. There are plenty of people who leave at the very early whiff of abuse on the horizon. While I understand the complexities involved that make even strong, independent women tolerate abuse, it's a mistake to paint the entire population with the same broad brush and declare everyone a potential victim. "This can happen to anyone, no matter who you are" negates free will. Anyone can fly on a plane that crashes, and anyone can get cancer. Those things can happen despite your choices. But not everyone (and I mean adults... children are in a whole different situation) has the potential to be trapped in an abusive relationship.
 
#1,293
Decophile said:
If you mean that even the least likely people can fall victim to DV, then I agree although "least likely" is based on what's visible on the surface and we can't know what's going on beneath the surface. As for women who declare that would never be them, do you know any who declare in advance that they would stay with a hypothetical abuser?



But if you mean that no one is exempt from finding themselves in an abusive situation that they can't leave, then I disagree. There are plenty of people who leave at the very early whiff of abuse on the horizon. While I understand the complexities involved that make even strong, independent women tolerate abuse, it's a mistake to paint the entire population with the same broad brush and declare everyone a potential victim. "This can happen to anyone, no matter who you are" negates free will. Anyone can fly on a plane that crashes, and anyone can get cancer. Those things can happen despite your choices. But not everyone (and I mean adults... children are in a whole different situation) has the potential to be trapped in an abusive relationship.
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Yes! And I'll never be in that sort of relationship!
 
#1,294
Whether she's a gold digger or not, if Johnny didn't want to pay spousal support, then he should have gotten a prenup. It seems according to the law, she's entitled to that money. When I got divorced, I could have argued that I deserved some spousal support (legally I would), but my ex is an okay guy and I didn't want to do that. Had I been married to someone who hit or abused me, I probably wouldn't feel the least bit badly asking for spousal support if I was granted it under the law. We don't know what happened, but he should have had a prenup if he didn't want this to happen.
 
#1,295
mundodabolsa said:
thinking that amber's handling of the situation is disgusting and clearly taking advantage of things and thinking johnny is guilty are not exclusive sentiments.

I can't make a judgement on if there was or was not violence. I wasn't there, i haven't seen the evidence. However i can make a judgement on her comically exaggerated victim portrayal.

Thinking her theatrics are not genuine does not mean i think she's a liar or that i'm downplaying abuse and siding with johnny. One thing i can see with my own eyes and form an opinion on. For the other, i will need facts. :shrugs:
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+1
 
#1,296
Decophile said:
If you mean that even the least likely people can fall victim to DV, then I agree although "least likely" is based on what's visible on the surface and we can't know what's going on beneath the surface. As for women who declare that would never be them, do you know any who declare in advance that they would stay with a hypothetical abuser?

But if you mean that no one is exempt from finding themselves in an abusive situation that they can't leave, then I disagree. There are plenty of people who leave at the very early whiff of abuse on the horizon. While I understand the complexities involved that make even strong, independent women tolerate abuse, it's a mistake to paint the entire population with the same broad brush and declare everyone a potential victim. "This can happen to anyone, no matter who you are" negates free will. Anyone can fly on a plane that crashes, and anyone can get cancer. Those things can happen despite your choices. But not everyone (and I mean adults... children are in a whole different situation) has the potential to be trapped in an abusive relationship.
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I've had a lot of DV victims as clients and nearly every single one of them said some variation of 'I never thought I'd be THAT woman. I always said I wouldn't stand for that sort of thing'. Point is THAT woman isn't a type, it can be anyone.

I'm not saying everyone will stay in an abusive situation, I'm saying that it can happen to anyone, even if you don't think it will be you, even those who say they'd never stay.
 
#1,297
Decophile said:
I'm taking this all in. Given these two people, either or both could be telling the truth and/or lying and it's too soon, at least for me, to tell what's going on. But your bolded comment made me bust a gut [emoji23]

As someone who left my punk-*** ex while he was in the throes of his midlife crisis, I can tell you that it's a bit of a game-changing experience. Even if JD never hit or abused anyone before, he could very well start for the first time while in a midlife crisis and after just having experienced the death of his mom. People who suffer severe forms of midlife crises have a lifelong predisposition to narcissism and inability to handle disappointment. All that gets amped up to the nth degree when they perceive a loss of youth and sexual power and it all manifests (in men mostly) as severe anger, which is really how severe depression is expressed. I can see him getting physically abusive. My ex never got physical or even verbally abusive, but he acted so bizarrely that my regular reaction to him, someone I'd been with for 20 years, became "who the hell are you?" Midlife crises can really change people drastically or let out all their demons unchecked. It's like taking a wrecking ball to everything, figuratively or sometimes literally.

I can also see her making the whole thing up just to extract more cash. At this point anything is possible. We shall see.
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Severe depression rarely comes out as severe anger!
 
#1,298
Wildflower22 said:
Whether she's a gold digger or not, if Johnny didn't want to pay spousal support, then he should have gotten a prenup. It seems according to the law, she's entitled to that money. When I got divorced, I could have argued that I deserved some spousal support (legally I would), but my ex is an okay guy and I didn't want to do that. Had I been married to someone who hit or abused me, I probably wouldn't feel the least bit badly asking for spousal support if I was granted it under the law. We don't know what happened, but he should have had a prenup if he didn't want this to happen.
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I Read somewhere that she would ONLY marry him if there wasn't a prenup
 
#1,302
I'm very pragmatic so I would not have a problem with a fair prenup. But I do know people who are offended by them-that their spouse is thinking about divorce before they are married and putting a dollar amount on their worth.
 
#1,303
Hobbsy said:
Angry and irritable. Not severe anger. Mostly turned inwards.
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We may define severe differently. and I don't think it needs to be turned inwards. It can be outwardly aggressive anger. I call it severe because people can make life altering and destructive decisions with drastic consequences and spew a lot of rage and hate at (formerly) loved ones. Although the term midlife crisis is thrown about pretty frequently, and everyone eventually goes through "midlife", as I understand a true "crisis" is pretty rare. Less than 5% of people experience it at a crisis level.

I'd be interested to know why you think severe depression and severe anger are mutually exclusive. I didn't pull that theory out of thin air, but neither am I an expert on the subject and welcome others' insights.
 
#1,304
shiny_things said:
I've had a lot of DV victims as clients and nearly every single one of them said some variation of 'I never thought I'd be THAT woman. I always said I wouldn't stand for that sort of thing'. Point is THAT woman isn't a type, it can be anyone.

I'm not saying everyone will stay in an abusive situation, I'm saying that it can happen to anyone, even if you don't think it will be you, even those who say they'd never stay.
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I think we're in agreement. My comment goes to "even those who say they'd never stay." In my view, there is no "even those." Even those as opposed to whom? Everyone falls in the "even those" category. I don't know anyone who would say they'd stay. Which means the declaration or self belief on whether you are THAT woman is irrelevant and doesn't shed any light on who is or is not likely to be THAT woman. But there must be other patterns, tendencies, experiences, and circumstances (and not your declaration of what you could have envisioned for yourself) that will make it more or less likely that you'd be trapped in an abusive situation and that it's not an entirely random, unpredictable, or inexplicable predicament.
 
#1,305
If she is a decent actress, I've never seen her acting so I don't know, couldn't she act the parts of #1 the adoring gf who becomes the adoring wife and #2 the abused spouse?

Personally, I think she was a golddigger from day one. If JD gives support at this point it seems he is confirming the abuse accusations.

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