Is my boyfriend an A-hole?

#61
Wow, no sorry at least?!

Just like the lil boy said on Meet the Fockers. "A** hoooooooooooole"


I know its his career, but he didnt even say sorry! and to top it all off he called you selfish?! I'd give him a pimp slap. do it!!! Raise your right hand over your left shoulder and WHACK. That'll teach him =] hahaha jk!
 
#62
My hubby is an attorney, and he damn sure knew when the bar exam was months in advance--I find this last minute cancellation fishy--he would know pretty far in advance when the test would be offered. I hope that you go to Vegas and have a great time!!!
 
#63
It's not the WHY he cancelled, it's the how. He sounds really insensitive and selfish. He HAD to know a long time ago when he would take this exam, if it's something that comes up only every few months. He couldn't be bothered to make sure he could make this trip you planned and paid for, and to me, that makes him a total *******. SOlidified by the fact that he doesn't understand why you're upset AND he's being passive aggressive by not answering the phone. Ugh, I think you have every right ot be completely, totally pissed.
 
#66
OK Personally I am going to side with the BF because it doesn't sound like you're being understanding at all. As someone who is in a professional school: This is a major test. Someone said it earlier: Dental school (or any professional school) isn't a joke. He probably got too stressed out about things and lost track of dates: it happens. I can think of how many times I've canceled stuff I've planned to with my BF because of school and work. This is just my thought, but his dental school buddies are probably saying right now to him that he should dump you because you can't understand why the things that are important to him... are important to him. You have to take the good and the bad with any relationship, and that means his tests!

You mentioned earlier why couldn't he fly to Las Vegas and then fly back to his test. Are you serious??? Do you have any idea how stressful flying back and forth is??? People I know rent HOTELS near where the test site is because they don't want to deal with the uncertainty and added headaches of freeway traffic. Can you imagine? Please... be a little more understanding!
 
#67
Love,bags, you and I are one of the few who sided with the BF. I just can't help but think if he was MY son, and he had a big exam coming up, I'd be supportive with his decision to stay home. Of course, I'd want him to handle things a little more sympathetically with the gf and her family, but I'd be happy to see him stay and take his test.
 
#68
It's not that i object to his wantingto take the test (though it does sound like very poor planning on his part) but the way he is treating her sounds very mean and immature (and he's probbaly in his thirties too, right?) and callous. I think she would not have been nearly as upset had he shown a little remorse and compassion for her feelings of disappointment....plus the fact that he was partying with his friends for three weeks straight also sounds rather suspicious.....if he cared so much about this exam why wasn't he studying??? And then cancelling on a paid for trip two days before is very rude and there's something wrong with him if he's not sorry for hurting her.

everyone has personal goals that they want to meet for themselves, but he sounds like he thinks HE and HIS PROBLEMS are the center of the universe and does not even care that he hurt his fiance....that, to me is a very BAD SIGN for a potential life partner, and it's not right to make someone feel guilty for being upset. His life and his career is not the be all end all, exonerating him from common decency. He's not allowing her her feelings and it does not sound like he's there for her emotionally (even if he can't on the trip physically) This aspect is what I think many of us are reacting too.
 
#69
I have to also side with the boyfriend. Of course I would be upset too and he didn't handle the situation well as a bf I must agree with you there. BUT like a lot of people have said this is his dental certification test. If it was me, I would want to take it, hope I get my license then celebrate later knowing I can practice as a dentist!!

Wouldn't you be happy if he passed too? In return, he should have the same respect for your career goals and if he doesn't then he is not worth it if he puts your priorities aside.

Just enjoy your trip with your mom and plan another trip later. I am sure more will come once he makes the big bucks! :graucho:
 
#70
It may be a little late, but DUMP HIM NOW! You are never going to be first in his life and you deserve a lot better. He's the selfish one who knew about an already paid-for trip and then he goes behind your back and works on ruining your plans. Sweetie, that is not only selfish, it's abusive. You don't need that in your life and you deserve better. He's not the only man out there.
Kate
 
#73
caannie said:
Don't feel bad, if you get married your husband will do this to you all the time, too!! ;) You will plan a vacation/event/trip with the kids and he will come home 2 days prior and say "I have to work" or "I just got told I have to go to this meeting..." It happens. It sucks, but that's what happens.

However, your BF should have at least been apologetic about it! I understand he needs to take his test, and yes he should have planned ahead (but they NEVER do!!) Go and have a wonderful time, and try not to think about him AT ALL!! ;)
Click to expand...

That's unacceptable behavior. I understand once or twice...but not all the time. Vacations at most corporations are scheduled well in advance, making plenty of time to plan for sending people to meetings and so on.
Kate
 
#74
It sounds like he was waaaaaaay too insensitive to your feelings. His response to you IMO was harsh and unnecessary. He could have been much gentler and even tried to make it up to you. Whether he was right or wrong to cancel the trip is debatable, but him being totally insensitive to your feelings is really lousy. Enjoy the trip with your mom. You deserve it!
 
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