Is my boyfriend an A-hole?

#16
Hi, sorry, but there is absolutely no way that a graduating dental student would not have the Boards typed into his Palm/PC/calendar/whatever datebook he goes by. I'm positive he knew about this date months ago. I didn't go to dental school, but I did go through medical school. Everyone prepares somehow for the Boards - no matter how brilliant s/he may be. It's a test that must be passed in order for your professional life to continue on its course. Everyone knows about it. You only think about the next date for the test if you're not prepared for this one OR if you fail it.

Is it possible that he got so caught up with studying that he completely forgot to inform you about his test when you mentioned your Vegas trip? I guess it's possible. For me, however, I would not let him off easily.

It's up to you to decide if he's an A-hole because none of us truly know him, but this situation was avoidable. He was the thoughtless, insensitive one here.

Glad you're taking your mom. Enjoy your trip.
 
#17
I agree with you guys. My mom called him also to tell him about how she is now going with me b/c she couldn't cancel the reservations w/out a penelty.

I really can't remember anytime he has made an effort for me. I never ask for anything. I mean I make good money, I live in a great loft by the Giants ballpark. I am totally self sufficient! And I have the best parents ever to boot!!!!!
 
#19
I know Arnold really well! We used to have a summer cabin there when I was a kid. I have not been there in years but I would imagine it is still a one-horse town. Take that as another sign.....
 
#20
hc1871 said:
I really can't remember anytime he has made an effort for me.
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i might ponder this statement a bit more if i were you. you have to realize that he's at a crossroads in life at the moment and deal/not deal with that accordingly.

i don't think he's an a-hole, but i do think that maybe you two aren't on the same page right now - sorry
 
#21
definitely an A hole. sure it is important career wise but he should have planned it with you before all the arrangements and payments were made. ESPECIALLY since your parents are the ones treating him. if he knows the next test won't be until SEPTEMBER why didn't he know of this one? TOTAL BS don't buy it! get rid of him.
 
#22
fayden said:
definitely an A hole. sure it is important career wise but he should have planned it with you before all the arrangements and payments were made. ESPECIALLY since your parents are the ones treating him. if he knows the next test won't be until SEPTEMBER why didn't he know of this one? TOTAL BS don't buy it! get rid of him.
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Fayden, you have a point. This is a total slag to her parents. You know, I'm funny about my family. Disrespect me, I can blow it off; but disrespect my family, that's another story!!! :rant:
 
#23
fendigal said:
Well, be glad you didn't marry him! Obviously he is pretty frivilous about taking his state boards if he doesn't know when they are and he is a poor planner. He sounds immature, but there are two sides to every story.
It seems unusual not to know when your board exam is, but I am just licensed in physical therapy. Maybe he is smart enough to get away without studying, but when I took my boards back in the day my whole life revolved around taking my test.
I can't tell you what to do, but I would definitely detach yourself from him for a little while, take a step back, and take care of your life and your priorities. He will come back if he is ready to settle down, if not well then you have some decisions to make.
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AMEN!! It's only been a year and a half and he already treats you this way?! If you stay with him, be prepared for more immature, selfish behavior and believe me it will only get worse, if you don't put your foot down. This relationship seems onesided, you need to ask yourself why you care for this person so much and look at the pros and cons of having a relationship with him. You deserve as much respect as you give him!
 
#24
I think the key here is that this is not the first time to behave in this manner and his lack of concern for your feeelings about this. Also the whole breaking up every time you disagree? What happens if you get married and disagree about finances, raising children? Will the threat of divorce always loom over your relationship? Are you okay with that? Is that what you want in a relationship?

Maybe those are some questions to ask yourself regarding this guy. In the end the decision must be yours and it's up to you, not us, to decide about your bf...Regardless of your decision I'm sure we'll be here to listen!
 
#25
Well, for a young guy, he does have his priorities straight. That's a good thing. Not many would turn away a free trip, and to Vegas to boot. He canceled for the "right reason", however, he could have been a little more sympathetic about canceling. I dont think he's an a**hole, but perhaps just a little green. He also may be a little frazzled. I know that around an exam taking period, people can not always be accountable for all their actions. Let him take his test, and see where it goes from there. He can't be all that bad. You've been dating him for a year and a half. Surely he's got some great qualities as well.:flowers:
 
#26
I don't buy how he can accidentally forget about this upcoming exam when it determines his career! And I think it's very disrespectful of the way he cancelled on your parents and you at the last min especially when it involves your parents. He should have told you about this exam wks in advance.
 
#27
I don't like this guy, bottom line, he is too self-absorbed if he can't even bother apologizing, and doesnt seem to give 2 ****s of a rat's ass about how you feel.

He has absolutely NO empathy.

I say cut your losses.
 
#28
Sorry, if my bf canceled plans on me that were booked and payed for because he couldn't keep track of his exams... I'd be pissed! I understand if you had wanted and he had said no I have exams, then you have no right to be upset... but this trip was planned! and paid for! and I'm sure you double checked the dates with him before you took those steps. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd stand for being treated like that! He better be trying VERY hard to make this up to you, and if not, you really need to consider whether or not you want to be with someone who can treat your feelings and family so casually. Seems like everyone was trying to make HIM happy, by treating him to this and he had to just ruin it for everyone.

On a happier note, hope you have fun shopping with your mom, nothing wrong with that!
 
#29
fayden said:
definitely an A hole. sure it is important career wise but he should have planned it with you before all the arrangements and payments were made. ESPECIALLY since your parents are the ones treating him. if he knows the next test won't be until SEPTEMBER why didn't he know of this one? TOTAL BS don't buy it! get rid of him.
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i'm also in the medical field, and though it's been many years since i took boards, our tests filled up so fast, they were on a first come first serve basis - miss one, you'd just have to wait for the next one.

they WOULD however, notify you if an opening came available for whatever reason, and at that time you'd be able to take the soonest test.

i don't know if things have changed or not since my time - i took my boards in '91.

i really don't even think that's the issue in poor hc1871's case though. i believe she needs to know her value a bit more and find someone who appreciates the things to offer - she sounds like a great girl with some wonderful things going for her.

just a matter of knowing your own worth and finding those who also recognize the gem that is you.
 
#30
Roo said:
I know Arnold really well! We used to have a summer cabin there when I was a kid. I have not been there in years but I would imagine it is still a one-horse town. Take that as another sign.....
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OMG!!! that is wht everyone says to me!!! they all have a cabin there but WHO THE H-ell lives there?
 
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