Involuntary Coach ban support group

[eleanors36]

LOL. Yes! I was the one who would never babysit other people's kids and thought my 5 year younger sister was the largest PITA on the planet. Everyone said no one deserved twins more than me.

I babysat for $$ but never really liked it. One of the best paying family had a truly bratty son. Ugh. I finally got a part-time job, and that was it for baby sitting. My mother used to say that the only way I would have a kid was if she took care of it for at least the first year, and she actually had a point!

 

[Alexa5]

Yes, definitely hats off to those ladies with more than one, I don’t know how in the old days, women used to have so many (my grandmother had seven!!). I thought about a second one only so my DD can have a sibling and learn to share, etc, But DH said that wasn’t reason enough. Oh well, too late, that ship has sailed for me,

I always think the learn to share reason is kind of funny. It is probably true that it helps in that arena, but sometimes they probably become less sharing because they get tired of fighting over everything

 

[redwood66]

I babysat for $$ but never really liked it. One of the best paying family had a truly bratty son. Ugh. I finally got a part-time job, and that was it for baby sitting. My mother used to say that the only way I would have a kid was if she took care of it for at least the first year, and she actually had a point!

I am so glad that I am too old to have done the plastic baby or egg thing in high school. Neither would have survived.

 

[redwood66]

I always think the learn to share reason is kind of funny. It is probably true that it helps in that arena, but sometimes they probably become less sharing because they get tired of fighting over everything

Sharing was quite the learning experience in our house. The worst phase for us was the biting each other when toddlers because it was fierce and usually on the face and arms. I walked into their room when they first had toddler beds to find one holding his brother's face down and biting his forehead!

 

[Iamminda]

LOL. Yes! I was the one who would never babysit other people's kids and thought my 5 year younger sister was the largest PITA on the planet. Everyone said no one deserved twins more than me.

I was (still am) not into kids per se. DH would have liked a second one but he didnt think my reasoning for another one (so DD would learn to share) was good

 

[Iamminda]

I always think the learn to share reason is kind of funny. It is probably true that it helps in that arena, but sometimes they probably become less sharing because they get tired of fighting over everything

Yeah, I know of kids who hated their siblings for whatever reasons. But I thought beyond the learning to share reason, there is also the “learning to interact/work with others” reason was good too.

 

[Alexa5]

I was (still am) not into kids per se. DH would have liked a second one but he didnt think my reasoning for another one (so DD would learn to share) was good

I know what you mean. See we can have kids and not really be into kids in general...funny! I was never into kids at all. But I will say having one helped me understand them a lot more and not be so annoyed by the things they do (such as in malls, restaurants, etc). But that doesn't mean that I can't still get annoyed at how some kids act. lol

 

[whateve]

The you will change your mind thing is really annoying, because frankly not everyone has a desire to have children. lol. Even some people that have kids have them somewhat reluctantly, and know in the end they will be happy with their decision (as of course you are going to love your child and not regret them). But I could have gone either way--I could see myself without children for life, but then at some point just decided that I wanted to go for it. My husband was kind of the same way--wanted to, but at the same time he wasn't adamant about it. But I knew one was enough. I have no desire for the chaos of multiple ages or pregnancies..

I didn't want kids when I was younger. I dated a man who had an older sister with a baby. She was determined to do everything natural so she put her baby in cloth diapers without plastic pants. Sometimes you could see the stuff dripping out of the diaper. Ew!

Then later when I couldn't get pregnant, I really wanted them. Then after each one was born, I would get a craving to have another.

And who is to say that your kids will be responsible enough to care for you anyway? lol. I mean, many of them are, but there is no guarantee. They say things like that for siblings too--like all children should have a sibling so they are not alone, but not all siblings get along--esp later in life. So there are all kinds of crazy assumptions out there! And yes, even one keeps a parent busy. But what is nice is that you can focus on each age and stage, which is what I like. Plus he is kind of like his parents--he likes his quiet downtime. I think if I would have had a hyper one I would have been in trouble!

You can't count on your kids to take care of you.
My sister and I don't get along. Now that our parents are gone, we don't communicate at all. DH's sister hates us for some unknown reason. I think she is jealous that we are still married and doing well, and she is divorced and has had tragedy in her life.
My three kids never talk to each other. I doubt they will ever have a relationship with each other.

An unrelated topic. I am reading this book that I can't stop reading but is difficult to read at the same time. For some reason I like to read books related to WWII every now and then because that whole situation is just unfathomable. So I am reading the book--We were the lucky ones, by Georgia Hunter, and oh my--I just keep needing to know what happens to everyone but at the same time get so sad about it all. This was her actual family--she learned as a teenager that her family went through all of this, did a ton of research and wrote a fiction (but based on their real events) book. It is just very riveting. On a lighter note, I recently read Elinor Oliphant is completely fine. I really enjoyed the transformation of the character, and so much about that book.

I read constantly. When my daughter was in school and studying the Holocaust, I read a ton of books about it. I'll add this one to my library list.

Yes, definitely hats off to those ladies with more than one, I don’t know how in the old days, women used to have so many (my grandmother had seven!!). I thought about a second one only so my DD can have a sibling and learn to share, etc, But DH said that wasn’t reason enough. Oh well, too late, that ship has sailed for me,

When people had tons of kids, they had the older ones take care of the younger ones. No one got lots of attention and had to learn to be self-sufficient. I'd like to think that with fewer children, we give each of them the time and attention they need.

LOL. Yes! I was the one who would never babysit other people's kids and thought my 5 year younger sister was the largest PITA on the planet. Everyone said no one deserved twins more than me.

I never babysat once. The first time I held a baby or changed a diaper was when I had my daughter.

I know what you mean. See we can have kids and not really be into kids in general...funny! I was never into kids at all. But I will say having one helped me understand them a lot more and not be so annoyed by the things they do (such as in malls, restaurants, etc). But that doesn't mean that I can't still get annoyed at how some kids act. lol

I don't like other people's kids. When I'm out I don't have patience for other people's kids acting up and disturbing everyone else, even though I know that sometimes you can't control them. I tried to make sure my kids didn't disturb other people. We took them everywhere with us so they learned how to behave in public. We never left them with a babysitter except once in a hotel and with my parents. My parents refused to babysit once we had the third child. We tried not to let having kids keep us from doing what we wanted to do. When the youngest wasn't even 1 yet and the middle child was in the middle of potty training, we took a cross country trip for several months. Looking back, I can't believe we dared to do that.

 

[Syren]

Sharing was quite the learning experience in our house. The worst phase for us was the biting each other when toddlers because it was fierce and usually on the face and arms. I walked into their room when they first had toddler beds to find one holding his brother's face down and biting his forehead!

Lol my friends twins went through the biting thing! I remember when we were out with them and she warned me “Don’t freak out but they keep biting each other, it’s normal but you know ... not normal?” [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] She’s worked with kids her whole life so she’s good at it and has a funny outlook.

 

[Alexa5]

I didn't want kids when I was younger. I dated a man who had an older sister with a baby. She was determined to do everything natural so she put her baby in cloth diapers without plastic pants. Sometimes you could see the stuff dripping out of the diaper. Ew!

Then later when I couldn't get pregnant, I really wanted them. Then after each one was born, I would get a craving to have another.

You can't count on your kids to take care of you.
My sister and I don't get along. Now that our parents are gone, we don't communicate at all. DH's sister hates us for some unknown reason. I think she is jealous that we are still married and doing well, and she is divorced and has had tragedy in her life.
My three kids never talk to each other. I doubt they will ever have a relationship with each other.

I read constantly. When my daughter was in school and studying the Holocaust, I read a ton of books about it. I'll add this one to my library list.

When people had tons of kids, they had the older ones take care of the younger ones. No one got lots of attention and had to learn to be self-sufficient. I'd like to think that with fewer children, we give each of them the time and attention they need.

I never babysat once. The first time I held a baby or changed a diaper was when I had my daughter.

I don't like other people's kids. When I'm out I don't have patience for other people's kids acting up and disturbing everyone else, even though I know that sometimes you can't control them. I tried to make sure my kids didn't disturb other people. We took them everywhere with us so they learned how to behave in public. We never left them with a babysitter except once in a hotel and with my parents. My parents refused to babysit once we had the third child. We tried not to let having kids keep us from doing what we wanted to do. When the youngest wasn't even 1 yet and the middle child was in the middle of potty training, we took a cross country trip for several months. Looking back, I can't believe we dared to do that.

That is sad about your family--the not getting along. I know that happens a lot, but sorry you have to deal with it too! The thing is that just because you are family doesn't mean everyone likes each other and will get along. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

I was thinking about how parenting used to be when I was growing up just the other day. My mom had it so easy. We would run around the neighborhood all day in the summer and she didn't have to do a darn thing (not that she wasn't attentive, but that is what we did back then) And then at home it would be my sisters playing with me. It was just so different and less interactive. Not that I don't like time with my child, but I do like the independence thing we had going on

And I agree about getting children used to being places. Our son has gone out to eat with us since he was in a carrier, and he has always been easy at restaurants so we could go pretty much anywhere. It does make it easier. And it is good to travel with them, as it gets everyone used to being away from home.

 

[whateve]

That is sad about your family--the not getting along. I know that happens a lot, but sorry you have to deal with it too! The thing is that just because you are family doesn't mean everyone likes each other and will get along. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

I was thinking about how parenting used to be when I was growing up just the other day. My mom had it so easy. We would run around the neighborhood all day in the summer and she didn't have to do a darn thing (not that she wasn't attentive, but that is what we did back then) And then at home it would be my sisters playing with me. It was just so different and less interactive. Not that I don't like time with my child, but I do like the independence thing we had going on

And I agree about getting children used to being places. Our son has gone out to eat with us since he was in a carrier, and he has always been easy at restaurants so we could go pretty much anywhere. It does make it easier. And it is good to travel with them, as it gets everyone used to being away from home.

Yes, when we were kids, we spent all day out playing with friends in the neighborhood. We came home for dinner. I don't remember my parents doing anything to entertain me. They used to take us to the movies and to restaurants, but it was movies they wanted to see, not kid's movies. I remember once the theater manager told my father the movie was probably too racy for kids but we went in anyway. I think most of the movies were boring for us as kids. When we visited my grandparents, we would stay with my grandparents while my parents went off and did their own things.

We've never lived in a neighborhood with lots of kids. There just weren't options for playmates for our kids unless you arranged playdates, and then it felt like work, taking care of another child. Once for about 6 months, we had a neighbor with a daughter who was in between my two oldest in age. They played with her every day when she lived there even though they were a terrible match. That was the only time we had neighbors with kids around the same age.

 

[Syren]

That is sad about your family--the not getting along. I know that happens a lot, but sorry you have to deal with it too! The thing is that just because you are family doesn't mean everyone likes each other and will get along. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

I was thinking about how parenting used to be when I was growing up just the other day. My mom had it so easy. We would run around the neighborhood all day in the summer and she didn't have to do a darn thing (not that she wasn't attentive, but that is what we did back then) And then at home it would be my sisters playing with me. It was just so different and less interactive. Not that I don't like time with my child, but I do like the independence thing we had going on

And I agree about getting children used to being places. Our son has gone out to eat with us since he was in a carrier, and he has always been easy at restaurants so we could go pretty much anywhere. It does make it easier. And it is good to travel with them, as it gets everyone used to being away from home.

It is crazy to think about what I would do at such a young age! Like you said in the Summer I would be out of the house for the entire day, I don’t even remember coming home for lunch and nobody seemed to care? [emoji23] Oh how times have changed haha

 

[Syren]

Yes, when we were kids, we spent all day out playing with friends in the neighborhood. We came home for dinner. I don't remember my parents doing anything to entertain me. They used to take us to the movies and to restaurants, but it was movies they wanted to see, not kid's movies. I remember once the theater manager told my father the movie was probably too racy for kids but we went in anyway. I think most of the movies were boring for us as kids. When we visited my grandparents, we would stay with my grandparents while my parents went off and did their own things.

We've never lived in a neighborhood with lots of kids. There just weren't options for playmates for our kids unless you arranged playdates, and then it felt like work, taking care of another child. Once for about 6 months, we had a neighbor with a daughter who was in between my two oldest in age. They played with her every day when she lived there even though they were a terrible match. That was the only time we had neighbors with kids around the same age.

My Mom would take us to the library when we were very young. They had a play section and I loved renting the books on tape! I learned how to read very young by listening to those. But after we reached a certain point we were just on our own to entertain ourselves [emoji23]

I remember playing in the woods and building forts and making fires! Can you imagine kids doing that now? I don’t really know how we didn’t manage to murder ourselves lol Or how there was no one to find us and stop us or kidnap us my goodness. Me and my friends were definitely kidnap-able lol

 

[redwood66]

Yes, when we were kids, we spent all day out playing with friends in the neighborhood. We came home for dinner. I don't remember my parents doing anything to entertain me. They used to take us to the movies and to restaurants, but it was movies they wanted to see, not kid's movies. I remember once the theater manager told my father the movie was probably too racy for kids but we went in anyway. I think most of the movies were boring for us as kids. When we visited my grandparents, we would stay with my grandparents while my parents went off and did their own things.

We've never lived in a neighborhood with lots of kids. There just weren't options for playmates for our kids unless you arranged playdates, and then it felt like work, taking care of another child. Once for about 6 months, we had a neighbor with a daughter who was in between my two oldest in age. They played with her every day when she lived there even though they were a terrible match. That was the only time we had neighbors with kids around the same age.

Oh my gosh you had my parents! I can still remember seeing Jaws at the theater. It was a big affair with a giant shark mouth you walked through to get into the building. I was 9. We lived on the family ranch with no kids close and no time for playdates. Too much work to be done. Both parents home working. Me too, before and after school. Taught me the value of work though.

 

[Syren]

The comments about going to inappropriate movies are bringing back memories! Ha!

I remember going to the drive-in and the first movie must have been an adult movie which I don’t remember but the second was FATAL ATTRACTION! I was supposed to be asleep but nah I saw it [emoji23] I could ask what were my parents thinking but they obviously weren’t lol