Im SO ANGRY I feel SICK

#62
omg, Sunshine, so sorry you witnessed that-i hate to have to see and hear such things-it's such a shame. i have two kids (toddler and infant) and i would kill myself before ever laying a hand on them. a woman who is impatient and unable to control herself from striking her kids (especially young children) is not fit to be one in the first place. this is so sad that i wanna cry
 
#63
Sunshine said:
IT simply upset me because it was so damn harsh. AND the whole yanking a child by his elbow and raising him in the air and then slamming him into a stroller seat is OUT OF CONTROL...espcially after being spanked 6 times in a row..its too much. I realize she was out of control...(trust me she looked out of control in more ways than one) I KNOW this is a purse forum but I have been around here for awhile now and have always shared experiences etc...as have others...that is how I have gotten to know a few ladies...so if its offensive please do not read further. It upset me and I wanted some feed back...not to be told to stop and talk about a bag.
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I think this was directed at me. My point is simply that the spank vs non-spank discussion is a no win as there will always be those for and against. My intent was not to step on any toes but to simply point this out. Sorry you felt unheard. The floor is yours...

I'm done here I can no longer stand the judgement.
 
#64
Originally Posted by layla
Kudos to you! You are absolutely correct and I agree.

pdonnadurk said:
I was not present at this incidence but there is a huge difference between violence and beatings and a good swift pop on the bottom.
However I think the spanking vs non spanking discussion is best served on some other forum. Handbags anyone???
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For the record pdonnadurk,
the context was left out of my reply and to whom I replied. HTH
(see below for full context)


________________________________________________________________________
See original post Page 2 Post 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by MandM
I would never judge someone whose kids were being naughty, so long as the mother was kind to them (although I do know that some people are judgemental about noisy kids and such, but that's rude). I TOTALLY agree that it's horrible for single people to walk around judging harried moms b/c their kids are being loud and annoying. HITTING kids is different though...

I certainly do feel fully entitled to judge parents who abuse their children. Just as I would feel entitled to judge someone who walked up to me and punched me in the nose. Violence and abuse are just wrong and it is everyone's job to prevent them. Just because children are small is no reason to think it's ok to abuse them. If I ever see any kids getting abused, you can be sure that I will not only judge their mother, I will involve the law.

As I said before, I've never hit any other living thing...so just because I don't have children doesn't mean that I am not capable of judging violence when I see it.

Originally Posted by layla
Kudos to you! You are absolutely correct and I agree.
 
#66
Sunshine said:
Sucks that I hit my 1000 post on that piece of trash...
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what an awful thing to witness. very disturbing. there is definitely a difference between a quick decisive swat and a beating. overspanking is harmful as well. I know parenting is not easy and anyone can lose control. I guess if one can step back and vow not to continue that behavior, thats healthy. If one cannot see the problem building, thats a red flag.



and oh yeah, happy 1000th post!
:lol:

(you poor thing!)
 
#67
I've got to weigh in here. I do not condone people who beat their children. I do condone a spank on the butt when the child needs it. I was also one of those people who swore up and down, "I am not going to EVER lay a hand on my child. I will NEVER spank my child! There is ALWAYS a better way to teach my child a lesson!!" I am smiling now because what you girls without children don't realize is that WE ALL start out saying that and believing that. Then you HAVE kids. And man, let me tell you right now to all of you who have yet to have children...... It is the hardest, most demanding, most exhausting, most physically taxing job you will EVER have. Especially if you have more than one child.

Here is what you have to look forward to from a 5 year old.
He hit his sister:

ME: "that was unacceptable behavior, you are going to be punished in your room for 20 min. Go into your room right now"
SON: " no, i won't go in there, no way"
ME: "yes, you will I am your mother and the right thing to do is to listen to me and to respect me, now go into your room"
SON: "No, (runs around the table, $1,000 table that is) I won't go into my room you can't make me. (takes a pen and digs it into the table) (then takes a chair and bangs it against the table)
ME: "Stop damaging our table, that is terrible behavior" Why are you behaving like this, you better get in your room right now or you will be punished for 2 days now, you will only come out to eat, bathroom, or school!"
SON: (running around the table still) "No, I am not going ito my room and you can't catch me"
ME: still running around the table, "come on now, I mean it, get into that room right now or else!"
SON: " or else what you are not going to do anything."

Then you either give him a spank on the butt to show him that he needs to listen to you or there will be consequenses that he will not like, or you continue to run around that table until you or he gets so tired or dizzy that no one learns a lesson and you forget what the heck you were doing to begin with.

It's a very fine line, very fine, and every single person who does NOT have kids thinks they can walk it just right. It is not until you actually climb up on the rope that you see just how high up you are. You just have to do your best and always have a helpful attitude, not a judgemental attitude. And always put your money where your mouth is, if you are not going to help then you should not even talk about it at all. If it means enough that you talk about it then you know the RIGHT thing to do is to help. Another fine line. Life is full of them. We all have to do our best and remember to try to have a charitable attitude, it will always help us.
 
#68
tr444 said:
I've got to weigh in here. I do not condone people who beat their children. I do condone a spank on the butt when the child needs it. I was also one of those people who swore up and down, "I am not going to EVER lay a hand on my child. I will NEVER spank my child! There is ALWAYS a better way to teach my child a lesson!!" I am smiling now because what you girls without children don't realize is that WE ALL start out saying that and believing that. Then you HAVE kids. And man, let me tell you right now to all of you who have yet to have children...... It is the hardest, most demanding, most exhausting, most physically taxing job you will EVER have. Especially if you have more than one child.

Here is what you have to look forward to from a 5 year old.
He hit his sister:

ME: "that was unacceptable behavior, you are going to be punished in your room for 20 min. Go into your room right now"
SON: " no, i won't go in there, no way"
ME: "yes, you will I am your mother and the right thing to do is to listen to me and to respect me, now go into your room"
SON: "No, (runs around the table, $1,000 table that is) I won't go into my room you can't make me. (takes a pen and digs it into the table) (then takes a chair and bangs it against the table)
ME: "Stop damaging our table, that is terrible behavior" Why are you behaving like this, you better get in your room right now or you will be punished for 2 days now, you will only come out to eat, bathroom, or school!"
SON: (running around the table still) "No, I am not going ito my room and you can't catch me"
ME: still running around the table, "come on now, I mean it, get into that room right now or else!"
SON: " or else what you are not going to do anything."

Then you either give him a spank on the butt to show him that he needs to listen to you or there will be consequenses that he will not like, or you continue to run around that table until you or he gets so tired or dizzy that no one learns a lesson and you forget what the heck you were doing to begin with.

It's a very fine line, very fine, and every single person who does NOT have kids thinks they can walk it just right. It is not until you actually climb up on the rope that you see just how high up you are. You just have to do your best and always have a helpful attitude, not a judgemental attitude. And always put your money where your mouth is, if you are not going to help then you should not even talk about it at all. If it means enough that you talk about it then you know the RIGHT thing to do is to help. Another fine line. Life is full of them. We all have to do our best and remember to try to have a charitable attitude, it will always help us.
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I hear you. And even though I do not have children of my own, I was once a child. I think my parents were on the right track when the minute I acted up, I got a swat. One swat. One hard swat. There was never any "pre-negotiating". I think trying to reason with a child who is totally unreasonable is where alot of the frustration comes from. (I gotta say after reading all these posts, I may never have children!):shocked:
 
#69
It's a very fine line, very fine, and every single person who does NOT have kids thinks they can walk it just right. It is not until you actually climb up on the rope that you see just how high up you are. You just have to do your best and always have a helpful attitude, not a judgemental attitude. And always put your money where your mouth is, if you are not going to help then you should not even talk about it at all. If it means enough that you talk about it then you know the RIGHT thing to do is to help. Another fine line. Life is full of them. We all have to do our best and remember to try to have a charitable attitude, it will always help us.__________________
WHY WHY WHY am I considered JUDGEMENTAL by simply saying what I witnessed disturbed me? Good lord, if I saw that on a daily basis I would go mad!!! As far as putting my money where my mouth is...as I stated I had not EVER seen such a thing ever! I was shocked, upset, and in panic as to what to do...I refuse to have a charitable attitude when a childs arm is about to dislocated! AGAIN ...I was only sharing what I witnessed and how disturbing it was...I was not taking a stand on discipline itself. For me it was so sad...it has been taken out of context and twisted...I will refrain from sharing such situations in the future as its too easy to get torn limb by limb around her at times.:cry:
 
#71
Sunshine said:
It's a very fine line, very fine, and every single person who does NOT have kids thinks they can walk it just right. It is not until you actually climb up on the rope that you see just how high up you are. You just have to do your best and always have a helpful attitude, not a judgemental attitude. And always put your money where your mouth is, if you are not going to help then you should not even talk about it at all. If it means enough that you talk about it then you know the RIGHT thing to do is to help. Another fine line. Life is full of them. We all have to do our best and remember to try to have a charitable attitude, it will always help us.__________________
WHY WHY WHY am I considered JUDGEMENTAL by simply saying what I witnessed disturbed me? Good lord, if I saw that on a daily basis I would go mad!!! As far as putting my money where my mouth is...as I stated I had not EVER seen such a thing ever! I was shocked, upset, and in panic as to what to do...I refuse to have a charitable attitude when a childs arm is about to dislocated! AGAIN ...I was only sharing what I witnessed and how disturbing it was...I was not taking a stand on discipline itself. For me it was so sad...it has been taken out of context ans twisted...I will refrain from sharing such situations in the future as its too easy to get torn limb by limb around her at times.:cry:
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No, no, sunshine, I was not directing that toward you but toward everyone for the future. If you see something that bothers you then you MUST do something about it no matter how hard because you might be saving that child's or woman's life. If you are a person that is not going to do something about it then you should not talk about it at all. The rest of it was directed toward all of us who started out thinking exactly like the rest of the people without children, then had reality slap us in the face. I'm just saying being a parent is very very hard and demanding. One screw up and you could screw the kid up for good. That's a lot of pressure, some people can handle pressure and some can't. When we see one who can't we should remember that person needs HELP. They need help to change and anyone who sees that should try to give it. I'm saying for the future we should all try to remember that so we don't have to come home and feel the way you feel right now. :smile:
 
#73
Sunshine said:
Thank you Tr444..I appreciate the explanation. Sometimes it is hard to know what is directed at who... on this kind of stage..especially on touchy subjects. Thanks.
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No prob. :flowers: :flowers: I know what you mean. But it's great that everyone can get a chance to express what they think. You never know when someone will say something that we never thought of before. That's what I love about this place......I've never seen so many opinions in one place!!!! :lol: :lol: I LOVE it here!
 
#75
pdonnadurk said:
I think this was directed at me. My point is simply that the spank vs non-spank discussion is a no win as there will always be those for and against. My intent was not to step on any toes but to simply point this out. Sorry you felt unheard. The floor is yours...

I'm done here I can no longer stand the judgement.
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Yes, but one thing Megs has sort of encouraged here on the PF is a little friendly debate and discussion. No harm in (respectively) stating/listening to the personal opinions of others. We're not "fighting", simply discussing and debating our views on various subjects, purse-related or not (lol There have been SO many threads that have resulted in some seriously heated debates that a member once suggested we have a debate subforum!).

You didnt/dont have to leave pdonnadurk. I dont think Sunshine or anyone else was judging you, it just seemed like you were dismissing her post (at least thats how it came off to me at first, I dont want to speak for Sunshine).
 
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