im burning in hell.
- Thread starter rensky
- Start date
Rensky, do you want to continue working at your job or is the environment too toxic/stressful? I think tons of people, of course, want to keep improving and striving to do better. Whether the job environment is creating your distress or if perfectionism is inherently in you regardless of job I think that will help guide your next steps. If it is inherent perfectionism you may want to do as the ladies have said so far involve yourself in other hobbies or consider counseling if it is that detrimental to your well being. Good luck!
my hobby is LV 
. which part?
. which part?You won't rot in Hell, but it seems like you're lacking something? Soemthing fulfilling, like a hobby or something else maybe?
OT: My DH is in a different part of that industry
thanks for your replies, ladies.
don't get me wrong, i love my work environment..everyone's really nice and caring. of course there are politics..but politics is everywhere..and its not so bad in my department.
its not about pleasing others..its myself. i graduated from my master's program on a friday, and went to work on the following monday. i did that because i knew if i took a vacation, i won't really relax because i would have been thinking of my new job the whole time! im the first to enter the company from my school! that did put a lot of stress on me at first..but now i'm better.
i feel like im just..a hard person..to please. even i can't please myself! i've told myself a zillion times.. "ok, this weekend im going to relax".
i end up being depressed! but i love my job!
i feel like i should use my free time to excel. i even started a certificate program in my field a week ago.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
don't get me wrong, i love my work environment..everyone's really nice and caring. of course there are politics..but politics is everywhere..and its not so bad in my department.
its not about pleasing others..its myself. i graduated from my master's program on a friday, and went to work on the following monday. i did that because i knew if i took a vacation, i won't really relax because i would have been thinking of my new job the whole time! im the first to enter the company from my school! that did put a lot of stress on me at first..but now i'm better.
i feel like im just..a hard person..to please. even i can't please myself! i've told myself a zillion times.. "ok, this weekend im going to relax".
i end up being depressed! but i love my job!
i feel like i should use my free time to excel. i even started a certificate program in my field a week ago.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
yikes... you sound like me.....
I understand about not wanting to slow down.... I personally always feel like if I dont work very hard and get stressed out at work, I am not doing a good job....
I dont really want to go on vacation on the beach/ on a cruise because I think it is a waste of time.
My husband thinks that I will get a heart attack and die by the time i am 40.
My advice to you..... hang out with more relaxed people... Ever since I knew my husband, I had slowed down.... not a lot.... but enough so that i hope i will not get a heart attack by the time i am 40.
I understand about not wanting to slow down.... I personally always feel like if I dont work very hard and get stressed out at work, I am not doing a good job....
I dont really want to go on vacation on the beach/ on a cruise because I think it is a waste of time.
My husband thinks that I will get a heart attack and die by the time i am 40.
My advice to you..... hang out with more relaxed people... Ever since I knew my husband, I had slowed down.... not a lot.... but enough so that i hope i will not get a heart attack by the time i am 40.
Try to find something that will make you happy. It doesn't have to be something huge.. for example, I love to read and watch films. It's all I do on my days off! It takes my mind off the things that bother me at work. Sometimes a good old bawl might help. Gets a lot of this out of your system.. just my 2 cents.
I hope you feel better soon, honestly. A hug.
I hope you feel better soon, honestly. A hug.
Someone programmed you to think that whatever you do it is never enough. A perfectionist dad? A critical mom? An academic mentor on overdrive? I'm not saying your parents didn't love you dearly, I'm just saying someone programmed you to not enjoy life as much as you could - and in all probably unwittingly.
Please get some counseling so you don't ride yourself so hard. A good LICENSED psychologist will teach you how to reprogram yourself so that you will be the way YOU want to be, not just a result of your parents' upbringing.
Skip the "life coaches" unless you find one with a Masters in Psych or Social Work and a clinical license. These LCs do far more harm than good.
Don't worry - Be happy!
Please get some counseling so you don't ride yourself so hard. A good LICENSED psychologist will teach you how to reprogram yourself so that you will be the way YOU want to be, not just a result of your parents' upbringing.
Skip the "life coaches" unless you find one with a Masters in Psych or Social Work and a clinical license. These LCs do far more harm than good.
Don't worry - Be happy!
my hobby is LV
was a Director, is interviewing for a VP position now that his old Co was bought out.
I am sorry you feel that way. I think you just need to stop and think and slow down. Look at all of your achievements and how far you have come and be proud of those first, then set higher goals for yourself. You need to live life one day at a time and quit thinking about the future b/c it is making you depressed it seems. You should feel good about yourself, you are working in a high company and you can buy expensive designer bags. It seems you are focusing too much on how to improve things rather than focusing how good you actually have it, things could be worse. If you aren't happy where you are working, I would stop and think about what is making you unhappy and go from there, even if it means getting a new job would get you happiness(this is my opinion
Just slow down and give some time to yourself. Look at how far you came and find pride within yourself.
Be happy.
SUCH great advice!!
My only thing to add is to maybe get a dog/cat (assuming you have the time for one, that is).
It is AMAZING how quickly being around my horse or my dogs changes my mood from bad to fabulous!
Good luck, and remember that everyone at TPF loves ya and is proud of all your accomplishments, so you should be to!
It sounds soooo cheesy but its true--you have to be your own best friend, KWIM?
Rensky- I can totally relate to what you are saying. Just today I felt the same exact way and had a little panic attack. Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try, it is never good enough. But I am the one that is so self critical and sets such high expectations for myself. I am in sales and today I closed two huge deals, and I feel like I should be so happy but instead I am just stressing out about other things job related. I think I am so afraid of failure- like I set the bar so high that I am afraid that anything less will be a failure. I get panic attacks sometimes when things are not in order, like if my place is messy or if I am going to be late, or if I ate too much calories. I think that it sounds like we are perfectionists. I use to think that was good but now I know it isn't.
On a lighter note, I love LV too and LV is like my drug!! When I am down or something, I will look at my LV and feel instantly lifted!!! Today I was in such a bad mood I almost just bought a LV on elux just to make myself feel better but I talked some sense into myself first!
On a lighter note, I love LV too and LV is like my drug!! When I am down or something, I will look at my LV and feel instantly lifted!!! Today I was in such a bad mood I almost just bought a LV on elux just to make myself feel better but I talked some sense into myself first!
OMG i know how you feel.. I have 2 JOBS one I work in the lab for dental work the other i work at L'ocitone in the MALL which i love so much.. And i go full time at PCC.. Having school and work is tough too.. I always stress my self to much.. i always think i should achieve more than i do, which makes me sad when i dont.. My mom works at a PHARM company and let me tell u .. SHE STRESSES sooo much, i feel so bad for her.. She says its the hardest job, and it has to do with politics within the company.. She worked at phizer organon and roche.. she changes jobs alot and she gets so stressed about her job.. I showed her your post and she said that is exactly how she feels...
Excellent advice!!! Congratulations for working in such an exciting field of drug discovery! You have much to proud of, so hang in there.My SO sometimes feels the same way...he is very successful, but never stops...it is always, go, go, go, and go. I have tried and tried to have him talk to someone, just talk to a professional and he agrees, but there is NEVER time for just talking to someone if it is not work-related. He has me and our cat, but I will keep encouraging him to slow down because I do not think it is healthy.
I do hope you have to opportunity to talk to someone like Profnot suggested. Good Luck!
Sometimes you just need to step back and enjoy your accomplishments. I was you 5 years ago. I worked 14 hours and sometimes 7 days a week for a month straight. My DH works his butt off and worked 3 jobs at one point. Then I had family and friends close to me passed away in less than a year. Life's was way too short to let it pass me by. So whenever I'm feeling down on myself, which is usually around the end of the month, I think of things I'm thankful for. I had to learn that once I left work, leave work there. Don't take it home with you. DH and I would talk about our day but one it's said, we don't speak about it for the rest of the night. He'll play golf to relax and I have the kids. Try to find something to do after work. Try joining a gym. It's a great place to work off some of that energy and helps you stay in shape.