Huh. It finally happened to me...

#76
azyuwish said:
I think American women are not used to the view that many in other countries (especially third-world, developing countries) hold of us. Not just in the luxury spending department either.

I teach in a Montessori school. When I was in college I took a class about developing Art programs in preschools and kindergartens. Some student, a nice little Caucasian middle class girl, used a variety of vegetables cut in interesting designs to create "stamps" using different colored paints and cloth as the canvas. Toddlers could even do it and it was interesting and a fun project for that age. Suddenly one of the other students (from another country) angrily and tearfully began to protest about the use of such a sacred substance, FOOD as art media, saying that only in America could we be so out of touch with the true value of food; we never go hungry etc. She and her family would consider it blasphemy etc.

You get the drift. She wasn't being judgmental in the sense we're all used to; she was genuinely shocked and offended at what she considered waste and misuse of badly needed resources. So for some, it is a very emotional issue.

It's definitely a cultural thing. I'll be the first to admit that I am out of touch with the pain of the world in its entirety. If we really researched where all of our goods came from and how they were produced, we probably would not purchase half of what we do.

There are many realities on this planet, I've discovered.....and each have their own validity.
Click to expand...

I think this is a very important point that shouldn't go unnoticed. There are cultural differences that are operating in this scenario that make it unique from a family member questioning how you spend your money.

In American culture it is almost always deemed inappropriate to have conversations about money, but the very idea that people need not discuss money is in a way, a privileged position to have. To need not discuss it presupposes that one need not worry about it or make it the business of anyone except the individual. And the power of the ideology of individuality in America is pervasive. I guess what I'm getting at is that the situation is one that was undoubtedly uncomfortable and I understand why you reacted the way you did but I think the cultural differences make this particular situation separate from when our families make this type of commentary.

Perhaps in a future conversation, it might ease your feelings (since you expressed that you worried that you might have overreacted) to mention to your coworker that you are sensitive about topics related to personal finances and that you became defensive because of this sensitivity. I do not think you need to apologize... I just think that some sort of conversation to clarify your response and offer her the chance to apologize would make the work environment more amiable.
 
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