How do you deal with friends that say.....

[lotusflowerbaum]

In these situations, there is nothing you can say that will help. Your friend doesn't seem like a really good friend if she is going to judge your purse choices! Please never feel the need to justify your purchases, and be confident you own your beautiful bags!

I saw the advice on here regarding just this issue, and I have used it before with NO apologies. If someone is cranky about your choices (which is none of their business), simply state to them to you work hard and play harder.

And don't ever feel badly about your handbags. Wear them with pride!!

Agree with wildflower! 100%!


Also I'd like to add... many people don't understand that sometimes they "waste their own money" i.e. my aunt buys and hoards so many clothes. She purchases them on sale so that's what justifies the frequent spending on clothes but hey, the woman has all her bills paid and her kids are all in college so it's not my business nor problem how she chooses to spend her money.

But whenever she sees me with a new bag (not even a LV or anything just a coach bag I can afford) she can't help but tell me how I'm wasting my money. But I use all my bags daily and for every bag I don't use, I sell. She on the other hand, will go home with $500 worth of clothes and other things that will probably never be used once! (Whoa what a rant) and all she'll tell me is "but it was on sale..."



And to this I say YOLO!

 

[lovingmybags]

Agree with wildflower! 100%!


Also I'd like to add... many people don't understand that sometimes they "waste their own money" i.e. my aunt buys and hoards so many clothes. She purchases them on sale so that's what justifies the frequent spending on clothes but hey, the woman has all her bills paid and her kids are all in college so it's not my business nor problem how she chooses to spend her money.

But whenever she sees me with a new bag (not even a LV or anything just a coach bag I can afford) she can't help but tell me how I'm wasting my money. But I use all my bags daily and for every bag I don't use, I sell. She on the other hand, will go home with $500 worth of clothes and other things that will probably never be used once! (Whoa what a rant) and all she'll tell me is "but it was on sale..."



And to this I say YOLO!

But what if your bags are on sale too? I buy just about everything at a discount, and surely people would still be very judgey about my choices

 

[lotusflowerbaum]

But what if your bags are on sale too? I buy just about everything at a discount, and surely people would still be very judgey about my choices

Exactly ! Unless it's a super rare limited bag I hold off... I always buy buy at discounted/sales or pre loved ♡♡


You understand girl lol!

 

[lovingmybags]

Exactly ! Unless it's a super rare limited bag I hold off... I always buy buy at discounted/sales or pre loved ♡♡


You understand girl lol!

Well, this is the tpF...I'm sure most members been there . My dad was in disbelief today, when he hears I actually wear what I buy! Like seriously, what else would I get them for? I'm not a collector by any stretch of imagination, though I do have a lot of bags

 

[Caspin22]

Agree with wildflower! 100%!

But whenever she sees me with a new bag (not even a LV or anything just a coach bag I can afford) she can't help but tell me how I'm wasting my money. But I use all my bags daily and for every bag I don't use, I sell. She on the other hand, will go home with $500 worth of clothes and other things that will probably never be used once! (Whoa what a rant) and all she'll tell me is "but it was on sale..."

And to this I say YOLO!

The response to her is "I wear every bag I buy. How many articles of clothing do you have in your closet with the tags still on them?"

 

[oldbaglover]

The response to her is "I wear every bag I buy. How many articles of clothing do you have in your closet with the tags still on them?"

people need to keep their opinions to themselves, esp. when it hurts others!

 

[lovingmybags]

people need to keep their opinions to themselves, esp. when it hurts others!

Possibly look at themselves first, before judging others...

 

[Wildflower22]

I was just telling my husband today how our society villianizes those with more money or those who make a lot of money. We are your average middle class family, so I'm not trying to justify anything. It's really sad actually. I feel like most people judge others if they have less money than them or more money than them. Aren't both equally as "sinful"? (To edit: aren't both judging poor or rich equally as sinful)

Off topic but ever since I read this great book about the wife of a religious leader, I have worked hard to not judge. Even today I found myself judging, and that is something I need to work on harder. Those judgey feelings are not happy or productive feelings, and it only hurts me. I wish other people would recognize that judging others only ends up hurting themselves.

 

[GA Peach]

I agree with you about judging Wildflower22. I think I posted earlier in this thread a quote I read not too long ago, "Judging has nothing to do with the person who is being judged buy says a lot about the person doing the judging".

There are some ladies at work and they've made snide remarks about my handbags and sometimes I catch them looking at my clothes or watch. It's not that I spend a lot (I buy everything on sale) or wear expensive designer pieces but I like to look nice and coordinated whenever I get dressed. The way they act is amusing because I'm the exact opposite. Instead of sneaking a look at what someone is wearing, I'm the first to give a complement like, "I love that dress" or "those boots are cute". I just don't feel the need to judge people.

Once, a lady at work said to me, "The only way I would pay $250 for a handbag is if it came with $200 in one of the pockets". This lady and I are around the same age but I chose to throw a bit of "shade" her way so I replied "Yeah, my MOTHER used to say the same thing.........". I don't think she liked that too much!

 

[lovingmybags]

Once, a lady at work said to me, "The only way I would pay $250 for a handbag is if it came with $200 in one of the pockets". This lady and I are around the same age but I chose to throw a bit of "shade" her way so I replied "Yeah, my MOTHER used to say the same thing.........". I don't think she liked that too much!

Good one GA Peach!! Got to show them!!

 

[Marey]

I've had my Coach bags called overpriced AND my Louis Vuittons called cheap. There's always someone ready to point out how much you overspend and someone else to point out how chintzy you are. In the end I follow the advice of my spirit-mother RuPaul: "Unless they're payin' your bills, pay those b*tches no mind."

 

[AlbertsLove]

Has anyone seen the meme that says don't spend 200.00 on a handbag, buy the cheap handbag and put the 200 inside? It's funny because I never, ever understand people's needs to tell someone how to spend their money. I think it's easier judge someone on a handbag but other thing are off limits. Like if I point out to someone that they spend too much on beer or cigarets, they totally snap. .

 

[alansgail]

Has anyone seen the meme that says don't spend 200.00 on a handbag, buy the cheap handbag and put the 200 inside? It's funny because I never, ever understand people's needs to tell someone how to spend their money. I think it's easier judge someone on a handbag but other thing are off limits. Like if I point out to someone that they spend too much on beer or cigarets, they totally snap. .

Exactly! Beer and cigs get used up, a handbag can be used for years if purchased wisely
I can also add that people who judge others on what they spend their money on have way too much time on their hands and really should mind their own business.....makes them look petty and envious at best!

 

[hollymable]

Exactly! Beer and cigs get used up, a handbag can be used for years if purchased wisely
I can also add that people who judge others on what they spend their money on have way too much time on their hands and really should mind their own business.....makes them look petty and envious at best!

Exactly! I think it's definitely envy. I actually had someone who had the nerve to ask me if my bag was a knockoff! (which it is not, it's a genuine Coach bag). When I said no she proceeded to ask me how much I paid for it! It sometimes makes me hesitate to bring my new bag purchases to work because I know she will make some remark. I know I shouldn't care but it's crazy how people can be so judgemental.

 

[alansgail]

Exactly! I think it's definitely envy. I actually had someone who had the nerve to ask me if my bag was a knockoff! (which it is not, it's a genuine Coach bag). When I said no she proceeded to ask me how much I paid for it! It sometimes makes me hesitate to bring my new bag purchases to work because I know she will make some remark. I know I shouldn't care but it's crazy how people can be so judgemental.

The best reply to someone who is crass enough to ask what you paid for your bag is, "Why would you ask such a question?"......usually embarrasses them enough to think before they speak next time.

Of course, not always, some people are just slow learners and quite clueless.