How do I get my mom to........

kattiepie

Member
Dec 2, 2005
521
3
Hm. There are so many interesting points that have been brought up in this discussion!

I guess all I have to say has already been said but.. :smile: Here goes anyway.

I was 15 when I got my first "designer" purse. (Brown mini-sig coach hobo.. Still love it!) It happened after months of staring and -oohing- & -ahhing- silently over the computer screen. My mom finally got the hint and rewarded me after a series of events that exemplified how "good" I was. (One being winning a $8,000 scholarship. Haha, after that, I think she figured she could spend $200 or so to make me happy.)

That being said, now that I look back on it, I don't think a $200 purse is necessary for a 13 year old. Granted, I'm 18 now, looking at $600 - $1000 purses but.. at 13, I doubt that you would be able to fully appreciate the value of a Coach purse. I say this, not because I am underestimating your maturity, but because at 13, it's just hard. You're still a kid (heck, I'm still a kid in some ways), and there are just better things to do with your money. (and time, since you are obviously thinking about this a lot.)

Do you really understand what $200 is/means?
If you are truly willing to do whatever it takes to get this purse, than I think you should first work (in some of the various ways that has been suggested on this thread) to try to "earn" $200 first. Be fair and see how long it will take you to really earn that money. If you still want the purse when you are finished, then it is obvious that you are serious about your lemming. (As are so many ladies of this forum! I'll be the first to admit- I'm bag-obsessed! haha)

PS. I, too, do not think that money should be used to reward good grades. I was never rewarded for my grades (and without sounding arrogant, I had darn good grades). When I was younger, I was jealous of the kids who had their dads whip out hundred-dollar bills when they got straight As.. but now, I realize that, at least for me, it was better that I develop the mentality of -good grades- being something expected, rather than rewarded. Haha.. too bad college is.. a different story. :smile:
 

beautiful stranger

The Original Angel
Nov 27, 2005
2,480
3
Where it smells of hot cocoa
hmmm so addictedtopurses you are saying that it depends on the type of person thsi girl is .. weather she is a person who needs external motivation or a person whose motivation comes from within .. and that the way you raised your kids determines what type of rewards they get for what good deed they do ...
I still believe that a kid should not be rewarded for something they should be doing anyway ....... rewarding is just one type of motivation ... you can motivate them in a different way ...
I woudl suggest that you try earning the money :smile:
 

purselova34

Member
Jan 15, 2006
1,988
3
NJ
I think you should ask for a wirstlet or something first. A cheaper small piece and be responible with it. After that, your mom might get you the purse.
 

Bags-Of-Fashion

Ulster Lass
Nov 23, 2005
209
4
N.Ireland
Theres lots of different situations and circumstances. If you want to reward your kid with money do it, if you think its wrong, do something else. I think in the end, everyone will do what THEY think is best for their kids anyway.

As for the bag you want, I dont think theres any 'way' of getting your mum to get it for you. The only way is hard work i'm afraid, thats maybe not what you wanted to hear but its the only way.

I desparatly want a chloe paddy but I can't afford it, so I have to suffer too! Some day we will appreciate the wait!! (maybe 2015 in my case!)
 

youngprof

O.G.
Dec 2, 2005
406
140
I think earning the money yourself is the way to get expensive things. Babysitting, mowing lawns, whatever.

I buy my own purses at 40, and I bought my own purses at 14. Having someone give you a nice gift is lovely, but if it something you really want, you will work for it.
 

ranskimmie

Member
Jan 25, 2006
9,919
27
Holy Cow!
I just logged on and saw this was my daughters poast. I am shocked, in a good way. Krista is my daughter and an outstanding honor student. This thread just goes to show when she wants something bad enough she really goes for it. All of your suggestions are so impressive! I must say it has set me back a little. I knew she wanted this purse pretty bad, but honestly didnt know how bad. The funny thing is how everyone has so many mixed opinions on how to earn her Dooney purse. And just about all of the above apply at our house. As I said, she is an honor student, although I dont pay her for her grades, she does all sorts of chores around the house, including cleaning the entire bathroom every week, and goes to our neighbors looking for extra jobs. Now, the only problem is, she earns her money well, but blows it like crazy on junk and now that she wants something big, she has no money. Im trying so hard to teach her to work, save, and then make the purchase she has wanted so badly. Krista and I will definetely get together and read all of your poasts! They are AWSOME! Thanks!!
 

youngprof

O.G.
Dec 2, 2005
406
140
I think this is a great opportunity if she indeed is not good about saving up her money - a clear goal for saving!
 

shu

O.G.
Jan 17, 2006
1,287
0
I agree with addictedtopurses. I feel that money as a motivator can work either way. Maybe at first, you were motivated by money, but in my opinion, the sense of achievement you get after getting a good grade would keep that motivation going after the monetary supplement is taken away. On the other hand, there are people who could seriously care less about their grades and how other people view them as a result, and are only motivated by outside factors.

I was never given money for my grades. I was expected to do well or face the consequences. More negative reinforcement than positive reinforcement. Although most psychology texts advise the use of positive reinforcement...
 

ranskimmie

Member
Jan 25, 2006
9,919
27
So...... what kind of allowance do you think is sufficient? This is Kristas chores:
keep room picked up
feed and water Misty (her malteese)
pick up doggy pooh
clean the bathroom every week
On rare ocassions I have her watch her younger brother for a little while.
dishes when asked
 

redrose1028

Longchamp <3
Feb 23, 2006
705
3
hey i'm 13 too- i really want the pink hearts tiny tassel tote from D and B- I'm just saving my xmas money (only 100 left hehe but still getting closer!) The way I try to keep it is if I know I"im going to the mall or somewhere where I know I'll spend money, I leave most of it at home, so then I can't buy anything. I get good grades too, so my parents give me 15$ if I get all A's, and for my allowance I get $10 a week (laundry, taking care of my doggy, keeping room clean, helping mom with CCD class, setting table, getting the mail, other stuff I just can't remember) I think if you're responsible I don't think you're too young to have one, I mean if you can take care of a doggy, I think you can be responsible for a purse!! P.S GOod luck saving up money!
 
Feb 1, 2006
641
2
52
Florida
My advice is , do your chores without complaining, keep your room clean, dont talk back, and tell her the purse will not only be good for your birthday, but she wont have to get you anything for the next couple of holidays coming up. More than likely, us moms have a short memory....you will get the purse and she will forget about the other holiday thing. :smile: Good luck!
 

valerieb

I want them all!
O.G.
Sep 13, 2005
1,497
2
The many opinions on this thread are very interesting. My daughter received her first designer bag (Juicy Couture) for her 16th birthday. I wanted to get her a piece of jewelry--something like a Tiffany necklace that she'd have forever--but she begged and pleaded for a handbag.

The reality is, these days kids are really into "designer" bags. All of my daughter's high school friends are carrying, Coach, Dooney, Juicy and even the occasional LV. My niece wanted a Dooney or Juicy for her 12th birthday, which really shocked me. Turns out all her middle school friends are carrying these bags and it's the cool thing to do. I'm not surprised kids are noticing handbags. All of the celebs they admire are photographed carrying the latest bags, and of course, their moms--folks like me and you--are obsessing over bags as well. Of course kids are going to pick up on this and want to be a part of it.

That said, I don't think it's wise for parents to pop for every special bag their daughters crave. When my daughter wants something like this she is required to save the money and pay for it herself or wait until her birthday or Christmas to request it as a gift. When the iPods first came out she had to have one. She pooled her Christmas and birthday money and bought it herself. She values it a lot more this way.

My daughter just turned 17 and is now looking for her first real job. She carries a heavy load at school and participates in many school activities. I believe this should be her focus at this age, so she still receives a modest allowance ($25 week)in exchange for doing chores around the house. With this allowance she must pay for her own entertainment (movies, dinners out with friends, etc.) or she can save it to buy things. Occasionally I offer her the opportunity to do additional chores for extra money (I hate cleaning blinds so I bribe her to do it for me!) and she decides whether to accept the offer based on how broke she is. We have never paid for good grades--this has always been treated as her responsibility and she has consistently done well.

I suggest Krista and her mom work out a plan to allow Krista to earn the bag herself. Perhaps she can earn extra money for additional chores or for babysitting her little brother. Maybe mom would even be willing to advance her some of the money in exchange for future chores. Good luck to you--I hope you are able to reach your goal!
 

Irissy

Balenciaga's lover
O.G.
Oct 29, 2005
10,948
75
California
This is so cute... your daughter logged on to ask your fellow PF buddies for help! Way too cute... this alone should earn her that purse. ;) :P
 

Swedie

Us bound
ranskimmie said:
Holy Cow!
I just logged on and saw this was my daughters poast. I am shocked, in a good way. Krista is my daughter and an outstanding honor student. This thread just goes to show when she wants something bad enough she really goes for it. All of your suggestions are so impressive! I must say it has set me back a little. I knew she wanted this purse pretty bad, but honestly didnt know how bad. The funny thing is how everyone has so many mixed opinions on how to earn her Dooney purse. And just about all of the above apply at our house. As I said, she is an honor student, although I dont pay her for her grades, she does all sorts of chores around the house, including cleaning the entire bathroom every week, and goes to our neighbors looking for extra jobs. Now, the only problem is, she earns her money well, but blows it like crazy on junk and now that she wants something big, she has no money. Im trying so hard to teach her to work, save, and then make the purchase she has wanted so badly. Krista and I will definetely get together and read all of your poasts! They are AWSOME! Thanks!!
That's so cute :amuse: I'm glad you'll be able to sit down and talk about this and find a good solution :idea: