How do I get my mom to........

Jadore

Shoe Addict
Dec 31, 2005
2,677
2
nyc
Did you ever try to do chores around the house?.What I used to do when I was younger (and what I still do now lol),and I wanted to get something I used to clean the house,do laundry,do groceries,Babysit my younger brother,tutor him at his homework,and If my parents felt that i've been doing a good job each week they would give me some money on what they felt I worked for. By the end of the month or month(s),they will purchase what I wanted(It took me 7 months to get my speedy 25 =)..just sugest it to your parents,and they might say yes =)..good luck!
 

LaDoctorFutura

The ED is my turf!
O.G.
Feb 19, 2006
328
0
38
Texas
doulosforhim said:
my daughter will be ten soon. she has earned her small bag collection by doing those chores that i hate to do. she has maintaine high honore roll consistently while involved in extracurricular activities

at ten, a bag COLLECTION is a bit much. at ten, you should be having fun, not worrying about getting a cute purse. during her formative years, you are teaching your child to cherish what she can purchase, not what kind of person she can be.

i personally never got paid for a single A, B, C, etc. while in high school or college. sure, i wanted to, but that would just say to do something only for financial gains. teaching your children that will only make them get jobs for what kind of money they'll be making instead of what will make them happy or marry for money. I understand that my background is far from the great majority on this forum, but to me, there is a great detachment from reality.

back to the point. $200 purse at 13 is not a good idea in my mind. if you want it, my guess is to ask for it for christmas. that and maybe one more thing. please...be a bigger person. don't let the purse form you! form the purse.
 
Jan 30, 2006
6,106
107
New Jersey
LaDoctorFutura said:
at ten, a bag COLLECTION is a bit much. at ten, you should be having fun, not worrying about getting a cute purse. during her formative years, you are teaching your child to cherish what she can purchase, not what kind of person she can be.

i personally never got paid for a single A, B, C, etc. while in high school or college. sure, i wanted to, but that would just say to do something only for financial gains. teaching your children that will only make them get jobs for what kind of money they'll be making instead of what will make them happy or marry for money. I understand that my background is far from the great majority on this forum, but to me, there is a great detachment from reality.

back to the point. $200 purse at 13 is not a good idea in my mind. if you want it, my guess is to ask for it for christmas. that and maybe one more thing. please...be a bigger person. don't let the purse form you! form the purse.

i am sorry, perhaps it did not come acroos like i meant it too, but you are correct and you do have a good point. she does have a lot of fun and to her is not an obsession or something were she has to have it. she hardly asks for much, i have been blessed. and most of her bags are bags that girls her age should carry. (limitted too etc. or small coach wristlet). i thank you for your opinion:biggrin:
 

Mariah

Member
Dec 24, 2005
1,142
1
personally, i don't think that a $200 purse is wrong for a 13-year old. i got my first coach right as i turned 11. nearly 4 1/2 years later i have 20+ bags- coach, kate spade, burberry, prada

also, my parents reward me for getting good grades, too. before it was a beanie baby for every "a" and then it turned into a purse for getting straight a's as final grades. actually, the thought of getting another purse makes me want to work harder (also i'm obsessed with my grades...).

as for getting the purse, i would work around the house. it would be nice just to figure out random things to do sort of as "random acts of kindness." i know my parents like when i say i'll do something but it seems like it's better to do a chore and have them be surprised later. one random month i felt randomly like doing that sort of thing, not expecting anything in return and then my mom took me to the mall and bought me $100+ in juicy tubes :biggrin:
 

beautiful stranger

The Original Angel
Nov 27, 2005
2,480
3
Where it smells of hot cocoa
i dont think i would pay my daughter to do something she already has to do with or without my payment. I mean, her grades are for HER future not mine .. high grades will not benefit me ... they will benefit her ... and low ones will effect her future directly not mine ...
i would pay her for something she does on her own that isnt her chore ... that is what i learned from "super nanny" :smile: she was applying it on toddlers but it applies to anyone i guess ... if you reward a toddler for not hitting his sister (shich he shouldnt be doing in the first place) you will only be waiting for him to hit her again when the rewards run out .... same things for teenagers ... pay her for studying (which she shoudl be doing anyway) and you are looking at an F student once you decide to cut her off ...
doing EXTRA chores is what shoudl be payable ... I give my 8 year old son a pound for each time he empty's his bathroom trash bin without being asked or for each time he puts all the plates in the dishwasher for me ..... something that is really not his job to do but he did without being asked :smile: it kind of builds his good-deed doing .......
 

Bags-Of-Fashion

Ulster Lass
Nov 23, 2005
209
4
N.Ireland
I dont see anything wrong with giving kids an incentive for good grades i.e money, they work, they get paid.. when they grow up, they work, they get paid. Its good training!

Also, I dont see anything wrong with wanting a $200 bag when your 13. I didnt because I hadnt discovered my passion at that age lol But if she wants it, then she should get it :smile:

Could you maybe get a saturday job? It would mean you would make alot more money faster. Also, it shows your parents your willing to sacrifice your time to get the bag, and maybe they might help you out ;)
 
Feb 18, 2006
67
1
LaDoctorFutura said:
you're 13. you don't need a $200 purse in my opinion. I'm 22 and haven't spent that much on a purse!

she came here because she wants a high-end handbag. or as high-end as someone who's thirteen could want. is this not the purse forum

i'm not singling you out, it's just that i see that all the time in handbag communities and forums like this. isn't the point of these things, to get together and talk about purses, despite age and/or price of the bag?
 

Serendipity

Member
Nov 28, 2005
3,059
11
I reward my daughter for grades and even extra chores. She also babysits. She has even volunteered time to help others in need.

I believe that when I go to work and am given a pay increase because I did an outstanding job and in some cases I was given a bonus. I reward my daughter with outstanding grades because going to school is her job. She could lay low and get by with a C or study harder and get the A.

I don't see anything wrong with teaching responsibility early and letting her work for $. But I refuse to walk in the mall whip out cash or cc and just let her purchase something like that. Mine is 15.
 

addictedtopurses

Stars Hollow
O.G.
Feb 13, 2006
2,252
3
This has definitely become an interesting discussion.

As a middle school teacher (7th grade-13 yrs old), I can see valid pts in both sides. Some students who are rewarded for their grades with money do tend to slack off when the reward is taken away. On the other hand, some students need that external motivator (ie. money) for awhile and then develop their own internal motivation.

However, I do think that how kids respond to any reward (money, gifts, etc) for performance depends on how they have been taught to view money and education/work. A child who has been taught to take pride in their work and strive for their best won't all of sudden stop working because they aren't being rewarded with money or things because they know that the real reward is their success.

That being said, I was never rewarded with money or things for my grades. It was expected that I would work hard and do my best.
 

JoV

Purses are my Passion
Oct 31, 2005
622
4
New Jersey
Bags-Of-Fashion said:
yeah i agree serendipity!!
Yes, me too. The grade and chore payment plan works really well for us.

I think it is important for my kids to understand what it is to work for some of their personal things. My husband and I have a strong work ethic. He sometimes works 20 hours of overtime in a week. We pay for private school, and everything they need; extra's like a Coach bag or a Video Game come from the kids chores and money. They also pay for the items in person, I wait in the store, they are courteous and check their change. I think the them being involved in the whole transaction is important.

They understand that "Mom" makes a little over minimum wage and has to work 6 hours to afford the new X-Box game.

They also understand that the better the grades, the better the college, the better the job. One they like and not one they are pushed into.

They have plenty of time for doing "kid things" and really don't focus on the money.
 

SuLi

O.G.
Nov 1, 2005
8,589
37
I agree with others about grades and money association....I don't think it's necessary.

I also agree that 13 seems awfully young to be carrying a $200 bag (I didn't own one until junior year of college, and I worked for it), but I guess if you work for it (chores, maybe babysitting, etc.) and it's something you really want, then that is okay.
 
Nov 1, 2005
2,884
183
buckeye nation
first off, are you responsible enough for a $200 bag? if you tend to lose things, or not take of items you don't need a $200 bag.

if so, then I think you should earn the money yourself...that's how i'd do it if you were my daughter.
 

happy1

O.G.
Feb 9, 2006
375
12
Blackbutterfly made a good point about her maturity level because when I was 13, there was no way I could have carried a $200 bag...with time value of money that was probably valued $50 bucks then...HA!