Have you experienced Hermes bag jealousy...

[caruava]

Don’t know whether this classifies as jealousy or entitlement. My wife grew up where every dollar counted. She was always into fashion with magazines and people watching in NYC. Her cousins were as well. They all went to Paris a couple decades ago and this was when Birkins were just put out on the shelf if H had one. My wife (gf at the time) grabbed it and put it down for a minute to call me to discuss the cost of it. As we were talking, another customer grabbed it and purchased it. Not meant to be but the cousins were putting her down saying “that’s crazy to spend that much on a bag” and other comments like that. Mind you they were all in Hermes and knew how expensive their items were.

Fast forward to a year ago when we all go out to dinner. There’s around 10 of us at a table and it was just a good get together. We are all having fun and it’s time for the check. Right then, one of the cousins says “Look at her new Kelly bag. He can obviously afford to up the check”

Let’s say we haven’t gone to dinner together again.

Good on you! They're not your friends.

 

[xceleritas]

This was my concern - that it indicates something greater (dishonesty). Honestly, if she did not tell me about the bag and just wore it I would have minded my own business and just side eyed her. But to tell me elaborate stories with details that were all clearly lies, it is really disappointing. It makes you wonder what else is a lie.

It sounds like she started with a lie and had to continue with more lies in order to keep up the story, unfortunately.

From all these shared stories, it seems that the reactions and behavior come from a place of insecurity and not knowing how to handle oneself where someone else clearly has something perceived as "more". If these were with personal relationships, I'd definitely carefully reconsider the friendship/family ties if they acted out in some way, especially if repeatedly. Sometimes you just have to cut off those who do not add value to your life aka toxic people.

 

[xceleritas]

Didn't happen to me directly but my mom relayed over the phone something that happened the other day-- (my internal reactionary thoughts in italics)

1. At a small family gathering, with those in her generation (her siblings and their spouses). One of my aunts notices my mom's etoupe GP30 as she's getting up to leave. Bursts out with: OMG where did you get that bag?! It's like 10 grand! (uhh, highly inaccurate) ... and it's in that rare elephant color too! (Do people really call it that? Etoupe is not rare...)
2. Mom responds that it was a gift from me/her daughter, so "I don't know about any of that. All I know is that she knows my retirement lifestyle is casual and I can be rough with my bags, so she thought this would suit my needs". My aunt proceeds: Is she a VIP? I heard it's soooo hard to get. (No, I am not and it's definitely not difficult to get at all. Where in the world is she getting her misinformation.)
3. Mom: I have no idea. I need to go home, we need to feed the dog.
4. My uncle and his wife (whom, I'm sorry to say, have always been petty, jealous, selfish bullies - and whom have unwarrantedly targeted my mom in the past) sit there in silence (which is RARE) and stare with their beady green-eyed monster looks. (Admittedly, this was my favorite part )

The weird thing is that my aunt - and not to be crass - is exceptionally wealthy and she even owns a Lindy herself, so how is she so ill-informed about H? She could be one of those VVIPs herself!

 

[coffee2go]

Didn't happen to me directly but my mom relayed over the phone something that happened the other day-- (my internal reactionary thoughts in italics)

1. At a small family gathering, with those in her generation (her siblings and their spouses). One of my aunts notices my mom's etoupe GP30 as she's getting up to leave. Bursts out with: OMG where did you get that bag?! It's like 10 grand! (uhh, highly inaccurate) ... and it's in that rare elephant color too! (Do people really call it that? Etoupe is not rare...)
2. Mom responds that it was a gift from me/her daughter, so "I don't know about any of that. All I know is that she knows my retirement lifestyle is casual and I can be rough with my bags, so she thought this would suit my needs". My aunt proceeds: Is she a VIP? I heard it's soooo hard to get. (No, I am not and it's definitely not difficult to get at all. Where in the world is she getting her misinformation.)
3. Mom: I have no idea. I need to go home, we need to feed the dog.
4. My uncle and his wife (whom, I'm sorry to say, have always been petty, jealous, selfish bullies - and whom have unwarrantedly targeted my mom in the past) sit there in silence (which is RARE) and stare with their beady green-eyed monster looks. (Admittedly, this was my favorite part )

The weird thing is that my aunt - and not to be crass - is exceptionally wealthy and she even owns a Lindy herself, so how is she so ill-informed about H? She could be one of those VVIPs herself!

Smth similar happens when people make assumptions that a B or K immediately costs 20 grand…. well, not if you bought at H and even not all B or K have the same resale value as we know minis are more popular than large bags… I have no idea where people consume their information regarding H and prices, when some sites dedicated to luxury bags list prices for most popular items, just c’mon, google it! People are so lazy 😅Most people assume that whenever smth is Hermes it costs a kidney right away 🤣

 

[BirKineSS]

Smth similar happens when people make assumptions that a B or K immediately costs 20 grand…. well, not if you bought at H and even not all B or K have the same resale value as we know minis are more popular than large bags… I have no idea where people consume their information regarding H and prices, when some sites dedicated to luxury bags list prices for most popular items, just c’mon, google it! People are so lazy 😅Most people assume that whenever smth is Hermes it costs a kidney right away 🤣

But its 20 grand retail in Australia 😬 and another 20 grand minimum pre spend 🥴

 

[authenticbbq]

To be on the side of the people getting jealous, sometimes I wonder if my enthusiasm for the brand can be seen as jealousy to others.

For example, normally when I talk to friends about my journey (most of them don't really care for luxury) - they engage in my conversation on how my journey is going and I divulge like it's just any other hobby (just an expensive one lol). However, one-time at a large family gathering, I noticed that my husband's cousin's girlfriend got a new mini lindy (we see each other like twice a year) and pointed it out because I know they don't regularly shop at Hermes like I do. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: "Is that a mini Lindy? How'd you get it?"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "I don't know it was a cute bag we saw on display while we were out shopping, went in, asked if we could see it and then bought it."
Me: "Wow, that's pretty awesome and lucky score. I know that's an in demand bag right now"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "Oh that's cool I guess..." and at that point it didn't appear that they wanted to talk more about the experience or the bag so I stopped asking questions.

Just wondering if anybody feels like that can be construed as being jealous of others? In my point of view, I'm just a generally curious person and want to learn the story behind how people got their Hermes handbags because I know what a struggle it is to be offered one these days. I just also really like learning what people like about their bags to gain perspective and just make conversation about it because I love talking about handbags.

Said in another way, when do you feel curiosity blurs the line between jealousy?

 

[chanellover333]

To be on the side of the people getting jealous, sometimes I wonder if my enthusiasm for the brand can be seen as jealousy to others.

For example, normally when I talk to friends about my journey (most of them don't really care for luxury) - they engage in my conversation on how my journey is going and I divulge like it's just any other hobby (just an expensive one lol). However, one-time at a large family gathering, I noticed that my husband's cousin's girlfriend got a new mini lindy (we see each other like twice a year) and pointed it out because I know they don't regularly shop at Hermes like I do. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: "Is that a mini Lindy? How'd you get it?"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "I don't know it was a cute bag we saw on display while we were out shopping, went in, asked if we could see it and then bought it."
Me: "Wow, that's pretty awesome and lucky score. I know that's an in demand bag right now"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "Oh that's cool I guess..." and at that point it didn't appear that they wanted to talk more about the experience or the bag so I stopped asking questions.

Just wondering if anybody feels like that can be construed as being jealous of others? In my point of view, I'm just a generally curious person and want to learn the story behind how people got their Hermes handbags because I know what a struggle it is to be offered one these days. I just also really like learning what people like about their bags to gain perspective and just make conversation about it because I love talking about handbags.

Said in another way, when do you feel curiosity blurs the line between jealousy?

I suppose it depends on the tone of the person saying it, but nothing about this convo indicates jealousy, IMO.

 

[addiCCted]

To be on the side of the people getting jealous, sometimes I wonder if my enthusiasm for the brand can be seen as jealousy to others.

For example, normally when I talk to friends about my journey (most of them don't really care for luxury) - they engage in my conversation on how my journey is going and I divulge like it's just any other hobby (just an expensive one lol). However, one-time at a large family gathering, I noticed that my husband's cousin's girlfriend got a new mini lindy (we see each other like twice a year) and pointed it out because I know they don't regularly shop at Hermes like I do. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: "Is that a mini Lindy? How'd you get it?"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "I don't know it was a cute bag we saw on display while we were out shopping, went in, asked if we could see it and then bought it."
Me: "Wow, that's pretty awesome and lucky score. I know that's an in demand bag right now"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "Oh that's cool I guess..." and at that point it didn't appear that they wanted to talk more about the experience or the bag so I stopped asking questions.

Just wondering if anybody feels like that can be construed as being jealous of others? In my point of view, I'm just a generally curious person and want to learn the story behind how people got their Hermes handbags because I know what a struggle it is to be offered one these days. I just also really like learning what people like about their bags to gain perspective and just make conversation about it because I love talking about handbags.

Said in another way, when do you feel curiosity blurs the line between jealousy?

I think she didn't want people to know she spent on pre spend. It sounds more like that and she knows you know how she got the bag.

 

[benjinito]

Me: "Is that a mini Lindy? How'd you get it?"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "I don't know it was a cute bag we saw on display while we were out shopping, went in, asked if we could see it and then bought it."
Me: "Wow, that's pretty awesome and lucky score. I know that's an in demand bag right now"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "Oh that's cool I guess..." and at that point it didn't appear that they wanted to talk more about the experience or the bag so I stopped asking questions.

I'll be very honest with you ... this conversation would make me uncomfortable.

In general, I try to be as low-key as possible in front of my family, especially my significant other's family. While your questions were innocent, she doesn't know you that well (you said you only see her twice a year). If I were her, I would be a little embarrassed when someone brings attention to an item that I own and calls it out as special or "in demand" in a group setting. She likely did pre-spend for the bag, but she wanted to cut the conversation short so she didn't tell you that.

 

[protein_]

To be on the side of the people getting jealous, sometimes I wonder if my enthusiasm for the brand can be seen as jealousy to others.

For example, normally when I talk to friends about my journey (most of them don't really care for luxury) - they engage in my conversation on how my journey is going and I divulge like it's just any other hobby (just an expensive one lol). However, one-time at a large family gathering, I noticed that my husband's cousin's girlfriend got a new mini lindy (we see each other like twice a year) and pointed it out because I know they don't regularly shop at Hermes like I do. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: "Is that a mini Lindy? How'd you get it?"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "I don't know it was a cute bag we saw on display while we were out shopping, went in, asked if we could see it and then bought it."
Me: "Wow, that's pretty awesome and lucky score. I know that's an in demand bag right now"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "Oh that's cool I guess..." and at that point it didn't appear that they wanted to talk more about the experience or the bag so I stopped asking questions.

Your question was clunky asking "how did you get it" instead of complimenting it and letting the conversation go from there, imo...

But even with the initial question, if I was the one carrying the ML, I'd be more than happy to talk about it rather than having to talk about, like, babies or the weather or other mundane large family gathering type of conversations.

It's easy to not address pre-spend, if your cousin's GF really wanted to -- who knows, maybe it was fake and she wanted out of that conversation ASAP!

 

[xceleritas]

To be on the side of the people getting jealous, sometimes I wonder if my enthusiasm for the brand can be seen as jealousy to others.

For example, normally when I talk to friends about my journey (most of them don't really care for luxury) - they engage in my conversation on how my journey is going and I divulge like it's just any other hobby (just an expensive one lol). However, one-time at a large family gathering, I noticed that my husband's cousin's girlfriend got a new mini lindy (we see each other like twice a year) and pointed it out because I know they don't regularly shop at Hermes like I do. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: "Is that a mini Lindy? How'd you get it?"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "I don't know it was a cute bag we saw on display while we were out shopping, went in, asked if we could see it and then bought it."
Me: "Wow, that's pretty awesome and lucky score. I know that's an in demand bag right now"
Cousin/Cousin's girlfriend: "Oh that's cool I guess..." and at that point it didn't appear that they wanted to talk more about the experience or the bag so I stopped asking questions.

Just wondering if anybody feels like that can be construed as being jealous of others? In my point of view, I'm just a generally curious person and want to learn the story behind how people got their Hermes handbags because I know what a struggle it is to be offered one these days. I just also really like learning what people like about their bags to gain perspective and just make conversation about it because I love talking about handbags.

Said in another way, when do you feel curiosity blurs the line between jealousy?

Already a lot of great points mentioned re this. My only impression is that maybe she just didn't feel comfortable talking about it in general and especially in that setting with a variety of family around.
Whether if it was because they did prespend and don't want to admit it (did you happen to see your cousin sporting a new H watch by chance? ) or if the bag was in fact a fake/replica (and didn't want to be exposed!), maybe she just isn't the type to get into the details. I have a relatively good friend that is also an H-enthusiast and whenever one of us gets a new item (bag, shoes, SL crystal, etc) we don't necessarily go into "how" we did it, but just share and disclose what we feel comfortable with (it took so long that I think my SA forgot!, no more spending for this month..., it's still in the box at home hehe).

To me, it doesn't read as jealousy on your side, but maybe slightly unwelcome attention on something they'd like to keep more private? Also, sometimes family dynamics can be a bit more awkward compared to say, a fellow shopper at H striking up a casual convo whom you'll never see again.

 

[authenticbbq]

Duly noted on the way I approach questions might be a bit abrasive. As for asking "how" and it being perceived as asking about pre-spend is something I didn't even consider but can understand how it can be interpreted that way as you point out. I hadn't even thought it from that approach because I would never ask someone in real life what there pre-spend was to get something.

Pre-spend is such a funny concept and definitely one where there's probably a bunch of touchiness around it like your own salary lol

 

[Mrs.Hermess]

It's like when someone asks me how I got my job (which sometimes happens). They don't usually have much to say in return when I tell them how long the qualifications take to acquire or the level of experience needed. I often think about the impression I must be giving off - or maybe it's just who one knows in their line of business(?). Like you say, I think, they just assume everything is just luck (although sometimes that helps). As for the fake nonsense, it says more about their values than anything else, I take no notice, but I wouldn't get into business with someone that knowingly carries a fake H bag (total personal pref).

It really helps if someone genuinely enjoys many products across the depts. and be interested in the craft(ing) process, that's for sure.

@papertiger your comment is 💯! Your job was based on years of earning qualifications and in order to be highly experienced in your field. Some people dont realize that the chapter that they walk into in our lives, isn’t the same chapter from years before.