Friends Chat Thread: Wardrobe, Fun, and Whatever

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#11,641
Sheikha Latifa said:
To make it clear, I don’t think that a B is vulgar. It’s a nice everyday bag. So, you don’t need to prove anything to me.
But flashing obviously expensive items with brand logos in the office is considered bad taste, like you are nouveau riche desperate to belong. If you want to parade your “things that you worked hard to earn”, go ahead. No one will say anything. You just won’t be taken seriously - like this is what you worked hard for, congrats you got it [emoji4]
That said, they all wear very expensive clothes/shoes. You can tell by the quality, the fabric, the cut. Just no obvious brand names - there is class in it

To clarify more - I know only about lawyers and investment bankers. Have no idea about other professions - I’m sure it is acceptable in many other professions
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It’s unfortunate that you experienced such appearance-bias in your career.

If my lawyers and bankers think I’m nouveau riche, then they can bite their tongues and laugh behind my back while cashing my cheques. Or they can look for clients of their caliber. As long as they do their job competently, I don’t really care what they think about my arriviste appearance. They either take me seriously after the first conversation or we don’t do business. I don’t have time for this sh*t.

And if my staff has difficulty taking me seriously because of what I’m wearing to the office, then they and I have bigger problems to deal with.

My personal experience has been that my better quality clothes (obvious logo or not) usually provide me with better interactive experiences than my more casual or dress down outfits. I’m going to run with that.
 
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#11,642
At my first job right out of training my boss actually encouraged me to splurge a bit on myself and buy some nice things because patients would take me more seriously especially at that young age. Not that my clothes were shabby but they were lower priced because that’s what I could afford in training. A patient once expressed concern to me about a colleague’s abilities because she did not present herself well in the way she dressed. Of course i defended that she was an excellent surgeon and very busy. So it can cut both ways.

I do not think any of the contributors to this thread dress over the top with a lot of logos or in your face stuff. We all do a little tasteful CC here or there. I’m not offended by that. At a certain age the world expects you to have made it and to have a few perks to show for it.
Life is really just too short to judge or worry about what others think.
 
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#11,643
EmileH said:
A patient once expressed concern to me about a colleague’s abilities because she did not present herself well in the way she dressed. Of course i defended that she was an excellent surgeon and very busy.
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Yes, I have seen this scenario play out. Not so much for men as it is for women, unfairly. The baseline for presentable/professional is much lower for men. And the maintenance costs are higher for women. For e.g greying hair.

Several of my 50+ female friends have chosen to grey gracefully and got some initial pushback from partners etc. But some older 60/70/80+ are grey/white haired and fabulous. I always find their clothes and general appearance make it all work well.
 
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#11,644
EmileH said:
At my first job right out of training my boss actually encouraged me to splurge a bit on myself and buy some nice things because patients would take me more seriously especially at that young age. Not that my clothes were shabby but they were lower priced because that’s what I could afford in training. A patient once expressed concern to me about a colleague’s abilities because she did not present herself well in the way she dressed. Of course i defended that she was an excellent surgeon and very busy. So it can cut both ways.

I do not think any of the contributors to this thread dress over the top with a lot of logos or in your face stuff. We all do a little tasteful CC here or there. I’m not offended by that. At a certain age the world expects you to have made it and to have a few perks to show for it.
Life is really just too short to judge or worry about what others think.
Click to expand...
This is such an interesting discussion. EmileH and I had this discourse before. At the start of my career in public hospitals, I had to dress older to be taken seriously, everyone thought I was an intern or student, so good shoes like Ferragamos and well cut clothes eg Armani Exchange at 25 helped. While completing my speciality training in the UK the most outstanding experts on their fields could be dressed very strangely, to put it kindly. As long as we dressed decently to see patients, no one really bothered what we wore. Then in private practice I had to not leave my Hermes bags visible in the Surgery, as patients would think I was doing too well and would question my specialist charges. So it really varies with culture and country. Now I find that in Asia it's no issue for DH's colleagues who are corporate and investment bankers to wear Hermes and very visible brands. At the end of the day it is the knowledge and suitability of what is best for each one of us, in our culture and at that point of our careers. It is also knowing who we are, what we have achieved and what we are absolutely capable of. Right now I can wear anything I please, including Hermes exotics, to collect my kid from private school. Hurrah! :heart: And Happy belated International Women's Day.
 
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#11,647
periogirl28 said:
This is such an interesting discussion. EmileH and I had this discourse before. At the start of my career in public hospitals, I had to dress older to be taken seriously, everyone thought I was an intern or student, so good shoes like Ferragamos and well cut clothes eg Armani Exchange at 25 helped. While completing my speciality training in the UK the most outstanding experts on their fields could be dressed very strangely, to put it kindly. As long as we dressed decently to see patients, no one really bothered what we wore. Then in private practice I had to not leave my Hermes bags visible in the Surgery, as patients would think I was doing too well and would question my specialist charges. So it really varies with culture and country. Now I find that in Asia it's no issue for DH's colleagues who are corporate and investment bankers to wear Hermes and very visible brands. At the end of the day it is the knowledge and suitability of what is best for each one of us, in our culture and at that point of our careers. It is also knowing who we are, what we have achieved and what we are absolutely capable of. Right now I can wear anything I please, including Hermes exotics, to collect my kid from private school. Hurrah! :heart: And Happy belated International Women's Day.
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Well stated. Happy international women’s day. May we all thrive in whatever path we choose and support each other along the way.
 
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#11,648
Genie27 said:
It’s unfortunate that you experienced such appearance-bias in your career.

If my lawyers and bankers think I’m nouveau riche, then they can bite their tongues and laugh behind my back while cashing my cheques. Or they can look for clients of their caliber. As long as they do their job competently, I don’t really care what they think about my arriviste appearance. They either take me seriously after the first conversation or we don’t do business. I don’t have time for this sh*t.

And if my staff has difficulty taking me seriously because of what I’m wearing to the office, then they and I have bigger problems to deal with.

My personal experience has been that my better quality clothes (obvious logo or not) usually provide me with better interactive experiences than my more casual or dress down outfits. I’m going to run with that.
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I didn’t mean retail banking or private clients lawyers and definitely not their clients. It’s more about intl loans, billions of investments and UK loan firms.
There is no bias, it’s just a different taste. That’s also what my daughter told me about her UK private boarding school - when they have meetings with former graduates who are mostly UK aristocrats, they just look classy and extremely expensive without showing any logos. It’s a skill.
I don’t have it. I like my brands. :)
 
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#11,649
periogirl28 said:
DH is totally unburdened. He wears only his custom made blue shirts, blue Hermes ties (you've seen my IG) and his tailored suits. No dilemmas in the mornings!
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Same with mine - tailored suits, bespoke shoes, Ferragamo ties and only white background cuff link shirts. He has the craziest collection of cuff links - not expensive, just funny. At least some fun when choosing outfit in the morning
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#11,652
Interesting discussion.

Genie - as an ex-lawyer at a high end law firm I can assure you that no one is paying attention to your clothes. One, so much is done by email these days and rare is it when you actually interact in person. Two, my female lawyer ex-colleagues were terrible dressers and cared little about clothes. Including those who make 7 figure incomes. Same with my female bankers. I find in the professional world people take their wealth and spend not on luxury labels but on big homes in tony neighbourhoods, multiple homes, private schools and clubs and fancy cars and trips. In the exclusive private schools that my kids attend, Hermes is everywhere - someone mentioned exotics are visible and I agree. You can go nuts and wear whatever you want for pick up and drop off. Maybe it is the difference between work moms and stay at home moms. I don’t know why but at school is really the only time I see lots of luxury labels. I’m pretty discrete about my clothes and purses at work because but it almost doesn’t matter as my colleagues are pretty unaware about fashion. If anything, people asking in casual conversation about where I live or what I am doing for the weekend (because I do have multiple homes) is a bigger marker than the clothes I wear or purse I carry. And as much as I love my Hermes, I love luxury travel even more :).
 
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#11,655
MrsJDS said:
Interesting discussion.

Genie - as an ex-lawyer at a high end law firm I can assure you that no one is paying attention to your clothes. One, so much is done by email these days and rare is it when you actually interact in person. Two, my female lawyer ex-colleagues were terrible dressers and cared little about clothes. Including those who make 7 figure incomes. Same with my female bankers. I find in the professional world people take their wealth and spend not on luxury labels but on big homes in tony neighbourhoods, multiple homes, private schools and clubs and fancy cars and trips. In the exclusive private schools that my kids attend, Hermes is everywhere - someone mentioned exotics are visible and I agree. You can go nuts and wear whatever you want for pick up and drop off. Maybe it is the difference between work moms and stay at home moms. I don’t know why but at school is really the only time I see lots of luxury labels. I’m pretty discrete about my clothes and purses at work because but it almost doesn’t matter as my colleagues are pretty unaware about fashion. If anything, people asking in casual conversation about where I live or what I am doing for the weekend (because I do have multiple homes) is a bigger marker than the clothes I wear or purse I carry. And as much as I love my Hermes, I love luxury travel even more :).
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I think this is right! I’m also a young lawyer in “big law” and my female colleagues are super drab and boring dressers - I don’t know if this is intentional to signal that they are “serious” and don’t spend time thinking about such frippery, or if they genuinely don’t care. One of my senior colleagues has a Fendi by the way bag, and that’s the most luxurious thing I’ve seen. I’m not at the age of people buying homes and having kids and sending them to exclusive private schools, I can’t report back on that. Even though my fellow junior colleagues make a really good living, most of them have major student loans and can’t spend extravagantly on anything.

However I truly enjoy fashion and getting dressed in the morning, so I like to make an effort for myself even if my colleagues don’t necessarily notice. But I’m also careful not to wear overtly branded items. It’s a delicate balance between dressing nice for myself and my own confidence and not being seen as too superficial - it’s a balance that shouldn’t exist because I don’t understand the idea that women who take pride in their appearance aren’t “serious lawyers,” but it is what it is. Stereotypes and misconceptions must be whittled away slowly.
 
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