When I was in my early twenties I was dating a guy for a few years and found out he cheated on me. After the fallout I decided to stay with him because I loved him. Well, a year or so later I left him because it never really was ever the same between us. I started dating another guy for about a year. I broke up with him. I actually got back together with the guy that cheated on me. We got engaged. I know this may sound really crazy but ...... one day I tried to imagine myself growing old with him. I couldn't. I broke off the engagement and left him.
Ever been cheated on. . .and still wanted to stay?
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Oh, no, I hope you're not in this situation. I've been there and I know how painful it is. This guy I was with years ago cheated on me several times (said he was drunk, whatever). I did stay for a long time. Finally, due to a bunch of other things, we broke up, but I still think about him, even though I'm married with kids. PM me if you need to talk. Been there, done that, and don't envy you having to go through it! ((((hugs)))
I'm with a guy that's cheated on me but things have never been the same since.... That is in a good way. I think that if you can forgive and the person is willing to change things might even be better than they are before. And well when someone strays there's always a reason, I know why he did it and well I understand it...
To my knowledge, no. And I don't think my exes would because they know how much that would hurt me. I don't know. I really don't think about the possibility of my bf cheating on me. Maybe that's very ignorant, but that's the last thing that comes to mind if/when something happens. My first bf actually said to me, you know I can cheat on you so easily without you knowing right? And until that moment, I honestly didn't give it a thought. After I realized it was true, but I never thought it was an issue.
But if someone were to cheat on me, I don't think I can stand it. My ex and I actually had a brief talk about an open relationship, and in theory, I could handle it. But in reality, I'm too much of a jealous person. I would be forever paranoid that he'd do it again. It'd break my heart though.
But if someone were to cheat on me, I don't think I can stand it. My ex and I actually had a brief talk about an open relationship, and in theory, I could handle it. But in reality, I'm too much of a jealous person. I would be forever paranoid that he'd do it again. It'd break my heart though.
Yes, i have and i wanted to stay, but that notion lasted only for a very very short time. This is regards to my 5 year relationship in my early 20s. This is going to be long... sorry in advance.
The 5 year relationship was just soooo crazy but i'm going to try to sum it up in a nutshell. Yea, everyone goes through their ups and downs so to make it clear, it wasn't a 5 year straight relationship... sometimes we just needed our space, but we always came back to each other... I thought it was fate, I was soooo in love. OK, the first sign was when one of the times we got back together i was at his house and a girl threw a brick through his window.. I was like WTF? I thought i was going to get killed seriously.... (no fury like a woman's scorn type of deal)... but I handled it pretty well. After awhile, I went outside and I told her everything that was told to me. She was hysterical, he was crying and i was just numb. I told him, that i'm not letting him choose and i wish them the best of luck and drove off. He kept calling me for two weeks straight crying until i took him back.... so like a dumb-a$$, I did.
Everything is good for the next few months, then one day out of the blue, i just started getting anxiety attacks... just started trippin off of my boyfriend for NO REASON. I rationalized to myself, i'm just trippin out... he didn't do anything wrong at all, in fact he was on point with everything (maybe that was the clue). Then the following week, i had the weirdest dream about him with another woman... I thought to myself again, he's not giving me obvious clues, maybe I'm feeling insecure. The week after that, I swear to you a psychic walked up to me and told me that someone is trying to break up my man and I. And the finale--- that evening, she calls my house phone all night and telling me she's pregnant with his baby. So i'm just there, feeling stupid as hell... i couldn't have a reaction to that. He acted confused. And that evening, the girl even tried to commit suicide and jumped off a 4 story building...and didn't even die
So he supposedly finally ended it w/ her.
Aftermath: when he told me he loved me, he would say, i really love you like everything had to be over emphasized. I couldn't deal w/ it.. i really still wanted to work everything out but i really wasn't happy because i couldn't believe anymore. He ended it, and we parted ways.... Afterwards, sometimes we'd run into each other and then we'd hook up for awhile. I was just in a rotten state of mind. Then one day maybe months later after the break up, i get a call from this girl telling me she found my number in her fiance's gym bag. OMG I've been suckered again! so after that, instead of calling him up and venting or whatever else... i made a pact w/ myself to NEVER SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN because I don't want to feel like this all the time.. it's not worth it. And I guess that's that.
Funny thing is 3 years later i run into him at a party and I still kept to my promise, I didn't say a word and just kept on living. That breakup was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't have the life i live now if I was still w/ that.
Lesson 1: Any cheating in a pre-marital relationship should not be tolerated. (I can't speak about a marital relationship since i am not married)
Lesson 2: Don't think any less of thyself if cheated on. Those things have nothing to do w/ me. It's what you call characted flaws. If a man cheats on me, he'll do it to the next person.
Lesson 3: Always believe your gut feeling.. if you're close to your man and feel something is wrong, then most likely it is
Lesson 4: Stay true to yourself. You can't do something out of character to make a man in love with you. They already know how far they want to take it.
Lesson 5: Peace of mind is always better than trippin and worrying constantly or feeling hurt. I hate feeling crazy!!! and if it gets to a point where my man makes me feel that way, I'm out
Lesson 6: Little bullsh*t now, bigger bullsh*t later meaning if a guy shows all these flaws in the beginning, it definitely won't get better later.
The 5 year relationship was just soooo crazy but i'm going to try to sum it up in a nutshell. Yea, everyone goes through their ups and downs so to make it clear, it wasn't a 5 year straight relationship... sometimes we just needed our space, but we always came back to each other... I thought it was fate, I was soooo in love. OK, the first sign was when one of the times we got back together i was at his house and a girl threw a brick through his window.. I was like WTF? I thought i was going to get killed seriously.... (no fury like a woman's scorn type of deal)... but I handled it pretty well. After awhile, I went outside and I told her everything that was told to me. She was hysterical, he was crying and i was just numb. I told him, that i'm not letting him choose and i wish them the best of luck and drove off. He kept calling me for two weeks straight crying until i took him back.... so like a dumb-a$$, I did.
Everything is good for the next few months, then one day out of the blue, i just started getting anxiety attacks... just started trippin off of my boyfriend for NO REASON. I rationalized to myself, i'm just trippin out... he didn't do anything wrong at all, in fact he was on point with everything (maybe that was the clue). Then the following week, i had the weirdest dream about him with another woman... I thought to myself again, he's not giving me obvious clues, maybe I'm feeling insecure. The week after that, I swear to you a psychic walked up to me and told me that someone is trying to break up my man and I. And the finale--- that evening, she calls my house phone all night and telling me she's pregnant with his baby. So i'm just there, feeling stupid as hell... i couldn't have a reaction to that. He acted confused. And that evening, the girl even tried to commit suicide and jumped off a 4 story building...and didn't even die
So he supposedly finally ended it w/ her. Aftermath: when he told me he loved me, he would say, i really love you like everything had to be over emphasized. I couldn't deal w/ it.. i really still wanted to work everything out but i really wasn't happy because i couldn't believe anymore. He ended it, and we parted ways.... Afterwards, sometimes we'd run into each other and then we'd hook up for awhile. I was just in a rotten state of mind. Then one day maybe months later after the break up, i get a call from this girl telling me she found my number in her fiance's gym bag. OMG I've been suckered again! so after that, instead of calling him up and venting or whatever else... i made a pact w/ myself to NEVER SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN because I don't want to feel like this all the time.. it's not worth it. And I guess that's that.
Funny thing is 3 years later i run into him at a party and I still kept to my promise, I didn't say a word and just kept on living. That breakup was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't have the life i live now if I was still w/ that.
Lesson 1: Any cheating in a pre-marital relationship should not be tolerated. (I can't speak about a marital relationship since i am not married)
Lesson 2: Don't think any less of thyself if cheated on. Those things have nothing to do w/ me. It's what you call characted flaws. If a man cheats on me, he'll do it to the next person.
Lesson 3: Always believe your gut feeling.. if you're close to your man and feel something is wrong, then most likely it is
Lesson 4: Stay true to yourself. You can't do something out of character to make a man in love with you. They already know how far they want to take it.
Lesson 5: Peace of mind is always better than trippin and worrying constantly or feeling hurt. I hate feeling crazy!!! and if it gets to a point where my man makes me feel that way, I'm out
Lesson 6: Little bullsh*t now, bigger bullsh*t later meaning if a guy shows all these flaws in the beginning, it definitely won't get better later.
Yes, it's happened to me, no I did not want to stay. My boyfriend right after high school cheated on me with my very good friend at the time. As far as I was concerned that killed both relationships for me, the dating and the friendship. It was such a violation of trust on both of their behalves, and if you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't really have a relationship to begin with.
It never goes back to the same as before the cheating, no matter what either of you wish. When you love someone, you don't cheat on them. Simple as that.
*hugs* I hope you aren't in that situation.
It never goes back to the same as before the cheating, no matter what either of you wish. When you love someone, you don't cheat on them. Simple as that.
*hugs* I hope you aren't in that situation.
I sure hope this isn't happening to you but to answer your question I have been cheated on and no I did not want to stay. If it had just been a flirtation that did not end up getting physical, I would have stayed. To me, there is nothing more sacred between 2 people than physical intimacy - you can't get closer to anyone than that. Once that trust has been broken, that lack of trust will always be there and rear it's ugly head again and again.
I admire the strength of those who can let a situation like that go. I'm just one of those people who can't.
P.S. D&G Rockstar: Amen! You said it all girl!
I admire the strength of those who can let a situation like that go. I'm just one of those people who can't.
P.S. D&G Rockstar: Amen! You said it all girl!
My HS bf cheated on me with one of my good friends. Sad thing was, I used to go to her for advices :cry: I lost both a boyfriend and a good friend in one day. For me, I knew I could never trust him (or her) anymore after what happened, so I knew there was no point of trying.
I really do hope you are not in this situation Abandone. If you do need to talk, feel free to PM me. Hugs and
for good luck!
I really do hope you are not in this situation Abandone. If you do need to talk, feel free to PM me. Hugs and
for good luck!
My boyfriend cheated on me when I was 18 and I was head over heels in love with him but I broke up with him over it. He BROKE MY HEART! I cried for weeks. It was the best thing that he could have done for me. Honesty. Otherwise, I may not have met the man I'm married to now. This may sound crazy but I have too much respect for my husband to cheat on him. I would leave him first! I would rather just end my marriage and not sneak around and lie to him (and I have no plans to do it!). Cheating is stupid and a waste of time for everyone involved.
I know you don't want to hear this but you are still young! Blah, blah, blah, right? I know. But it's true. Better to deal with it now than deal with it later. Even as much as it feels like it's killing you. Its so strange to feel like your heart is literally breaking. I know. I hope for you that it's NOT true. But if it is, think about YOU and YOUR future and YOUR happiness. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. And true love does not stray or cheat.
I know you don't want to hear this but you are still young! Blah, blah, blah, right? I know. But it's true. Better to deal with it now than deal with it later. Even as much as it feels like it's killing you. Its so strange to feel like your heart is literally breaking. I know. I hope for you that it's NOT true. But if it is, think about YOU and YOUR future and YOUR happiness. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. And true love does not stray or cheat.
I was never 100% sure, but, I think my ex cheated on my with his best friend. funny thing is, after I borke up w/ him, her and I became freinds lol. She's never said that they did, altho, they did date for a short time after we broke up...about 2 months after we broke up...and I never asked. Never cared enough and never really wanted to know the truth...best of luck to you, it sucks to be in this situation 
^print*model -- so true -- so true what you say.
I was 24 when I was cheated on and knew by some obvious signs. I left the relationship immediately altho I suspected thru my blinders it had been going on for longer than I cared to admit. Unfortunately I invested so much of my self worth into the relationship, it took me much too long to get over it. Funny how things have a way of working out, tho.
One day, I stopped living in the past (in pain) and started living again. Well, maybe not one day, it took some time to start feeling better and just finding my identity again. And I remembered saying to myself, boy, I feel great today. It was so liberating!!! My confidence soared and I knew that I had started to love myself again. After that, good things happened to me when I decided to choose my own path, rather than for someone else to shape it for me.
I was 24 when I was cheated on and knew by some obvious signs. I left the relationship immediately altho I suspected thru my blinders it had been going on for longer than I cared to admit. Unfortunately I invested so much of my self worth into the relationship, it took me much too long to get over it. Funny how things have a way of working out, tho.
One day, I stopped living in the past (in pain) and started living again. Well, maybe not one day, it took some time to start feeling better and just finding my identity again. And I remembered saying to myself, boy, I feel great today. It was so liberating!!! My confidence soared and I knew that I had started to love myself again. After that, good things happened to me when I decided to choose my own path, rather than for someone else to shape it for me.
my ex bf cheated on me during university. we were together for over 3 years and lived together. i had a bad feeling about one of his friends and i even told him she made me uncomfortable. sure enough he cheated with her. i think i wanted to stay for about a day, then i realized how much better off i would be without him and his cheating ways. and i am!!! it was the best thing i could have done and i've never regretted it. its hard getting through those first few months, even the first year, but it has to be done. for me, the best advice is listen to your gut and do what's right for you.
Been here - in my 20s. Was with my BF for 4 years and found out just before he asked me to marry him that he had been cheating on me numerous times. Thankfully his friend told my good friend and wanted her to tell me - he couldn't do it, I guess he felt badly for me. I was devastated though and did go back to the BF after a 2-mo breakup because he begged me up and down. I personally could never get the cheating out of my mind and never trusted him afterwards - so it didn't work out. Worst part is he got married, had a baby and is STILL running around. I am thankful my friend told me as I would have been that wife = I never would have found my husband if I hadn't left that jerk.
I truly hope everything works out for you, you are in my thoughts as I know how difficult it is. I am so very sorry if it did happen
I truly hope everything works out for you, you are in my thoughts as I know how difficult it is. I am so very sorry if it did happen
I think it depends to some degree on the length and type of relationship. As some of the ladies posted...it's very different when you're in a long-term marriage. There are legitimate reasons to try to work things out (depending upon the circumstances of the infidelity).
I think it's different when you're in the dating stage. Often it's a sign to get out now.
I think it's different when you're in the dating stage. Often it's a sign to get out now.