Personally, I think you have a combination issue here. 1) the Asscher is likely not well cut, there's no way of knowing that without an ASET (which you don't have)/IS (which you don't have), and this particular jeweler likely doesn't have access to a lot of stones in that cut, probably doesn't specialize in that cut, nor would he know a well cut one (and maybe you wouldn't either.) 2) He sounds like a jeweler that isn't amenable to input from the customer (and thus should not be in a customer facing industry, which a jeweler is), and when you got any resistance at all from this person, you should have gotten a full refund for the entirety of this ring and diamond and gone elsewhere, but hindsight, and 3) resetting a stone you aren't happy with, likely because it isn't either well cut, or what you'd have selected given control of the situation (some women don't want to be surprised, I am one of them), and since this jeweler selected it without your control, you're kind of in that boat, well, a reset isn't going to fix the problem and 4) I hate airlines as well, and I'd hate it even more if you mentioned to the jeweler this setting design was not what you wanted and or I would like to look for X online, and he pushed back. Fighting the internet is going to put him out of business faster than adapting.
So, what do you do? Well, first off, you HAVE to tell your husband how you feel. He will either be amenable to working it out, or he will tell you that you've spent too much money on this stuff and right now is not a good time for this. Explain to him that this jeweler did NOT listen to what you wanted, and you were forced to settle and after being put in the position you felt you were put into, you just settled and let it go, and the more you look at this ring, the more you start to regret not speaking up then, it's starting to cause resentment towards that experience. Assuming he's amenable, I would probably not go back to this jeweler. Like, ever. You're not going to recoup what you've paid in either way, but going back to this person is going to put you right back where you started, and he's not interested in making you happy.
Your options are to reset this stone elsewhere, attempt to trade it in elsewhere or just start from scratch entirely and buy an entirely new everything, and keep that for it's sentimental value since it's in your wedding photos. You will take a loss regardless of any path you choose so just accept that.
So, what do you do? Well, first off, you HAVE to tell your husband how you feel. He will either be amenable to working it out, or he will tell you that you've spent too much money on this stuff and right now is not a good time for this. Explain to him that this jeweler did NOT listen to what you wanted, and you were forced to settle and after being put in the position you felt you were put into, you just settled and let it go, and the more you look at this ring, the more you start to regret not speaking up then, it's starting to cause resentment towards that experience. Assuming he's amenable, I would probably not go back to this jeweler. Like, ever. You're not going to recoup what you've paid in either way, but going back to this person is going to put you right back where you started, and he's not interested in making you happy.
Your options are to reset this stone elsewhere, attempt to trade it in elsewhere or just start from scratch entirely and buy an entirely new everything, and keep that for it's sentimental value since it's in your wedding photos. You will take a loss regardless of any path you choose so just accept that.
