Do you wish you could ? to be the perfect wife or girlfriend.

#16
i dont believe in perfection.. i believe in trying to be the best that i can.. i guess my bf wishes i would shop less or listen to him more, but i also know he is very proud that i do not just sit down n dont do anything when ppl r being rude or mean to me.. he appreciates my assertiveness although he hates it when i use it on him.. hhehe

by the way, i think i am a good cook except my bf complains that i use too much ingredients n that i like veggies.. he hates veggies n only want meat at all times.. i on the other hand, cannot eat so much meat products. i can probably cook around 30-40 filipino foods from memory n not using a cookbook.. hehe but no, i cannot bake.. lol.. i burn it..
 
#18
I know exactly what you are saying....I think I have a great husband...he works his butt off for our family...and over the 10 years of our marriage I too have felt like I should be "better" at certain things. I have realized lately though that I am what he needs and wanted in a wife and mother....he is extremely high-maintenance, and instead of being irritated by it...I always take it with a grain of salt and think it's cute!!! (i.e.) We will both be at home but maybe I'm busy in another room, he will be in bed watching tv, and call me on my cell-phone to come and hand him the remote if it is not in reaching distance. He has never washed a load of clothes, unpacked or packed a suitcase, etc....Basically, when he comes home, it is his down-time and I cater to him. I can't cook well, sew, or do some other "wifely" duties....but I do spoil him...so I kind of feel like the rest is not as important!! We have friends (they don't have kids yet), that will invite us over for these amazing home cooked dinners, and my girlfriend will pull out quilts she's sewing by hand for friends, etc....and my DH knows better than to say ANYTHING about her amazing homemaking!!!!
 
#19
ONE word rules in my house...TAKEOUT!! LOL!
I am not into cooking either..PHH makes fun of that fact..and always acts shocked when I cook alot...he knows and loves me just the way I am...!LOL! and yes..I have some good restaurants around here...eh..hem....
 
#20
Hey, nobody's perfect! :P

I've been trained to cook Chinese cuisine since I was a kid but I hate cleaning. Future hub wishes that I could be more of a spick-and-span person like my future SIL (Who cleans perpetually every 2hrs whenever she's home from work) but then again, I'd wish he could learn how to cook and help with fixing meals once in a while so it's kind of a balance I suppose. :lol:

Besides, I'm sure your Hub still thinks of you as the perfect woman that he married! He's got a great deal so you shouldn't think too much about it... :roflmfao::flowers:
 
#21
i say until your husband learns to cook, you've nothing else you need to do =)

(although i do secretly feel like i should be a better girlfriend, slash i know it will annoy me at the same time.)
 
#22
just another comment on this issue.. bf says last night that I should shop less.... I told him, "but Honey, who will go with you at Izod and those other places, if I cannot shop anymore?" then he said "well you can still shop, but only for me..." So I said, "hmm, so like your maid or something...." then I start screaming.. lol lol lol.. now, he hates that I scream at him.. so he says, "Oh honey, I just love you.. hheheh" so moral of the story, he loves me for who I am.. including things such as me screaming at him.. n no, that wouldn't be perfect..... lol
 
#23
I am not a cleaner at all. My house is disorganized and I have fallen over shoes many times. But the laundry is usually done, and I can cook and like to try different recipes, so I figure I am doing OK....

My recommendation to you if you want to learn to cook is to watch "America's Test Kitchen" on PBS. They will show you proper cooking techniques and you can get all of the current season's recipes on their website free (thought you have to register). If you were to choose one cooking magazine, Cook's Illustrated is the one to go with (same people as America's Test Kitchen). The recipes are all outstanding, and they give you lots of illustrations on the cooking techniques. Instead of subscribing to the magazine, I am subscribed to their website. I think it's $25 per year, and you have access to all of their recipes from the last twelve or so years of the magazine.
 
#24
hm. this is not easy, but I have sure been through a lot, and thought I should mention it. Do you want to be a good cook? Yourself...apart from what everyone else wants you to be?

I go through bouts of being a great cook...and then, I am not even close to wanting to cook and wish I had someone to pay to do things like that! So, when someone asks me if I like to cook, I tell them it depends on the day…and that works for me. hahahah...I used to struggle, make lists and try to fit my idea of the perfect wife and mother, but then because of a series of events, I came to realize that people don’t feel comfortable around people who are trying to be what they are not…Now, don’t get me wrong! I am not saying you should not try to better yourself, I am just saying that I have found if you can be the perfect you…then, the other will love you more than if you simply knock yourself to be a good cook if your heart is just not in it. Men who love us want us to be happy and satisfied and at peace when we put our heads on the pillow at night…even if we can’t cook cereal!

Seriously, you are who you are. Just remember to be who you are and learn things that you feel will enhance your life, not in order to be more accepted by others.

Please don't think this sounds selfish. Being true to yourself and others will love you even more...even if you can't cook! ( I assume he knew your cooking skills when he said “I do”?)

Otherwise, if you learn to do something better not for your own enhancement, but because you feel someone will be more content with you if you learn it...you may be setting yourself for a feeling of resentment in the future.

It is hard...but, if your DH loves you, and you are not a great cook, then ok...if you would like to see yourself as a good cook, and it will personally enrich you...then take some nice cooking classes, pick up some nice cooking book...but, do it for
 
#28
I don't think anyone is perfect and I prefer my bf to love me for who I am. Hoping for a perfect relationship only proves to be straining for each other. Why not accept the flaws and be prepared for what's ahead of us?
 
#29
Roo said:
Cooking skills are developed over time. I am a much better cook now than I was 20 years ago and I also ENJOY cooking much more than I did then.
Click to expand...

I agree. When I was first on my own, I didn't know how to cook a single dish. It was exasperating at the beginning but over a period of 20+ years, can cook quite a number of delicious meals on the fly and with a few ingredients. It takes some practice just learning about the nuances of tastes and flavor pairings. My in-laws and extended family rave about my cooking/baking skills to the utter dismay of my SIL. She throws alot more parties but I'm the one who gets all the compliments when I bring a dish. I can't help it... but she's really an excellent hostess, which I wished I was. Then I'd throw more parties myself!
 
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