Dating and Paying... opinions needed!

[coco-nut]

Ever have a day where you feel as if you're just not communicating? I think my whole week has been like this.

As far as my "rules" go, I don't mean to imply that they are what people should do, or that way that life should be, just that these are just conventions that men and women use with each other to signal their interest in making a relationship progress.

If you already have a relationship, or are married, there are a whole different set of rules. I'm just talking about the early stages of courtship, long before a brassiere is unhooked or a condom is defoiled.

 

[bethany]

ok so i had a lot to say but by the time i edited my mess-up to include everything i wanted to say, my editing windw had expired, so i give up. boiled down to it, my boyfriend and i trade off because we've been together for a while and there's no need for formality anymore. i resist letting someone take power or control, and to me, constantly being paid for is a huge loss of power and control.

ditto. when I first started dating my boyfriend, we tried to be even in our date expenditures. we still try to be (except his parents are paying for him while he's in school, so I have the same guilty feeling about spending his parents' money on MY food when I have a job and no rent and my own money to spend). before that, when I went out with a few guys, I never let them pay for anything as significant as an entire dinner. It just isn't fair to them, and it makes me feel like I owe them. I wouldn't want to date anyone who expected me to pay for everything for them. no way.

 

[hatikuh]

bf and I always sort of split things up. Not necessarily splitting up the bill everytime we go out, it's more like he pays for dinner I'll pay for movies, or he pays for groceries this week I'll pay for next week. Before I had a job he used to spend more money than me, but now that I do we always find some sort of balance.