Co-worker going into my purse?

#61
Peeking_Around said:
I think I was just in complete shock over seeing him with his hands deep inside my NEW purse.

I just went out and talked to him .. said, "I don't know where you grew up from ... but where I'm from - that's not kosher." - he said, "Well I don't know where you grew up ... but where I'm from - we don't use the word kosher."

OMG ... I am about to slap him....seriously.

I walked off right after saying, "If I catch you in my purse again - it's not gonna be pretty."

He mumbled something (smart a$$'d I'm sure) - but I didn't hear it.
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First he gets into your purse (and the cigarette may have just been quick thinking because he was caught...and it's no excuse). Then he says this??? Report him.

I was so mad I posted without seeing that he also takes from petty cash...who is this guy? He has zero sense of appropriate behaviour. I really feel for you.
 
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#64
First off .. thanks to all you ladies that commented. I really appreciate your input and comments.

Now for the update:

I talked to DH about this last night and he was like :cursing: - he hates it when I am uncomfortable and he has alot of issues with me working here ... the stress factor is high, the crap I put up with is OVERWHELMING and he says I'm just not happy which isn't cool for him.

He told me that I absolutely needed to talk to him - be rude if I have to be - but don't take anymore crap.

So .. this morning I walked in .. set up office and waited for my co-worker :biguns: - when he showed up, I calmly said "Hey - I need to talk to you for a minute alone if you don't mind." I figured it'd be better in case we got into a heated conversation. He said, "Sure - hold on a sec."

So I stepped outside to the side of the building. I was all ready for my boxing gloves to come on .. but before I could say anything, he came around the corner and said "Hey - I was thinking last night about the whole episode yesterday and I guess I owe you an apology. I didn't mean anything by going into your purse - I figured it was okay to just grab a cig and didn't mean any harm by it. I can tell you're pissed and I don't want to have this weird feeling between the both of us especially since we have to work so close to one another. Truce? I'll buy you lunch one day next week." -

I was in shock. I seriously had this whole really rude/mean speech ready and he blew me from saying it! :Push: But .... instead just told him that I appreciated that he apologized and that my purse was off limits. I never had an issue with letting him have a smoke - but I do have issues with him shoving his man hands into my purse.

He swears that he only grabbed my cig case which was on top of everything else in my purse. He said he would never go as far as grabbing my wallet and/or other personal items. He said he honestly thought it wasn't a problem.

SO I've been sitting here for the past 30 minutes thinking .. should I just be a bi*** about it all still or should I just let it go ... just this once and see what happens. I've never been one to hold grudges and I really don't want to work with someone that I'm constantly rude to all the time.

I do know that our work relationship certainly has changed. I've always been a bit standoffish with him .. but since yesterday it's down right cold. I can't even look at him without thinking :cursing:

I also found a place to put my purse - in a little drawer under my desk that you actually have to bend down to get into .... I'm shoving my purse in there from now on.
 
#65
I have no doubt that he went home and told his wife about the incident (in his favor) and I'll bet she jumped all over his ass however the words came out. I don't think he thought of that apology all by himself because he is really that stupid. That's my take on it. I'd just be civil to him from now on, and I would never go to lunch with him. Maybe he can bring you a Quizno's or something.
 
#66
^ It's great that he apologized. If you think it was sincere, I would just let it go and move on.
He definitely made the scenario a lot easier by just apologizing. And now that you've found a place for your purse, it's not likely it will happen again, right?
Just make sure you keep an eye on him since you know he has a habit of ignoring boundaries... Other than that, your relationship at work could be better because of all this.
 
#68
I would let it go now. He apologized, and he can't change what he did. Continuing to hold a grudge will only make your time there even worse. Time to forgive and move on, just be cautious in the future.
 
#69
Compass Rose said:
I have no doubt that he went home and told his wife about the incident (in his favor) and I'll bet she jumped all over his ass however the words came out. I don't think he thought of that apology all by himself because he is really that stupid. That's my take on it. I'd just be civil to him from now on, and I would never go to lunch with him. Maybe he can bring you a Quizno's or something.
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I totally agree with this post!!! He really is stupid and don't go to lunch with him!!
 
#70
Wow! That's rude. Well, since he apologized (sincere or not) let it go but definitely document what happened. Also document what the owner's response was to the incident, ESPECIALLY if he has a habit of going thru petty cash when you're not there. What if he doesn't leave a note the next time? You might end up becoming liable for it.
 
#71
I think it's great he apologized, but a grown man like him should not have done this in the first place! Have you done an inventory of your purse at all since this happened? Cancelled your cards? I just don't trust people with a lack of boundaries.

And if you can't get a locked cabinet for your purse, you at least need a purse with a lock. Maybe a LV speedy or something.
 
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#72
Of course he is going to apologize, it's called damage control. He knows you've already gone to your boss and the petty cash issue has also come up. Atleast he knows you've got him on your radar, continue to keep a close eye on this guy. According to his sticky fingers mentality, if he wants something he just takes it. The fact that he does this when you aren't in the vicinity indicates that he knows it is wrong. What will stop him from taking the $20 bill sticking out of your wallet next time? Where do the boundaries end? So if he leaves his car door open and you decide you want one of his CDs, it' OK for you to just go in and take it? If he leaves his house unlocked and someone decides they need a new TV, they can take it and it's not theft? Now these are kind of extreme examples but I'm trying to make a point about boundaries and personal property. Personal property is taken very seriously where I work. Someone got canned because she was caught picking off people's lunches in the refrigerator. We suspected that she was also picking cash out of bags but that was never proven. What about a little fire proof safe with a combo lock on it to keep under your desk? Keep the petty cash in there as well. I'm thinking he'll get the message pretty quick! Hope things work out.
 
#73
lol sorry i just had to laugh at "sticky fingers mentality"^^ but i totally agree with kmh1190! either he's really stupid and that simple or he's doing damage control.. i mean it shows that you and this guy have never really considered each other friendly co-workers so how did he give himself the permission to snoop into your bag?! i mean how do u REALLY now if he only wanted ciggies if he has the history of "borrowing" and i use that term loosely your money!
i would totally watch my bag while at work!
i'd even start walking around everywhere with my bag just to show him AND ur boss that what was happened was pretty serious and unforgivable!!!!!
 
#74
Compass Rose said:
I have no doubt that he went home and told his wife about the incident (in his favor) and I'll bet she jumped all over his ass however the words came out. I don't think he thought of that apology all by himself because he is really that stupid. That's my take on it. I'd just be civil to him from now on, and I would never go to lunch with him. Maybe he can bring you a Quizno's or something.
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lol! definitely a possibility. i'd just let it go and move on. you have to work together so there is no point in making your life miserable at work. ;)
 
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