3 people doesn't make everyone. That's taking a few negative experiences and extrapolating it to make it as if it's all. Again, if that were true for all, the hundreds (thousands?) of organizations created to support and help minorities/women wouldn't exist. All of these are created to reach back. I can point to many experiences I've had, as well as others I've met along the way, where we've tried to help others and others have tried to help us; and they did so because they were helped by someone or fought to get to their spot and didn't want others to have to experience the same fight (granted I'm speaking from the perspective of an American, as is Chris, so YMMV). I can't comment on popularity contest in the workplace because that's a shared experience that all people have which transcends gender/race; that's just human nature in wanting to get ahead. I will also say that outlook plays a big role in perception, as well; if ones outlook is negative and assume a situation will be predetermined for them from the start, they receive what they project. However, if their outlook is one of perseverance and triumph no matter the challenges, they have a whole different experience. Personally, I'm grateful to not have experienced what you're describing but I do understand how if someone has experiences like that, it can influence ones perception and expected outcome the next time around. I've definitely met people, throughout my career, who were initially standoffish or defensive. However, once I was able to get across that we have to hold hands and do this together, they changed their approach and attitude. Sometimes, people who had an experience that was wholly negative, project back that same negativity; many times not realizing they're doing such.
This is why I said it becomes exhausting because to remain positive throughout adversity is challenging and that is a universal truth.
But to blanket it as the problem with minorities is that they want to be the only one in the "it crowd" effectively states that the problem is not systematic and is something that minorities have done to themselves. Without a system of exclusion, such behaviors/experiences would be lessened and would be viewed as the individual's personality. The blanket statement removes the importance of being able to effectively articulate and educate on an oppressive system, designed though habit and learned behavior, to not view others solely based on talent and worth. It removes the ability to ask others to view merit based on ability and skill but allows them to have a scapegoat of saying "well, you're like this anyway so why should we care". The different spectrum of minorities do not experience the same plight and minorities historically help their own more than their counterparts, regardless of what the talking points want people to swallow and believe.
*taking my Afeni Shakur hat off now*
A lot of it too is kind of what Chris is saying - the onus isn't on the minority to change.
lol. Sometimes it just wears on you. (plus I've been dranking :tispy: so sometimes I have Betty Shabazz moments) But I think you did an excellent job earlier at summarizing the issue. I just think it's sad when people trivialize things like this be it related to race, gender and/or sexual orientation. I feel like the majority of the world's problems is simply that people don't listen to others when they say their experience in life is different or give them insight into their experience. Different doesn't make it less or more...it only makes it different.
