Yes but most these tasks have happened before the Grindr issue so I don't think that is the problem here. Also, I talked with HR already about this (we're more friends than coworkers) and she said that it is totally not an issue as this happens many times. He hasn't said anything to her either. He is also a very blunt and up-front person, if he was bothered he would have approached me about it. Also, both of our profiles don't have anything inappropriate or overtly sexual so I don't think there is a real issue. He blocked me and that was it.
Workplace Career Burn Out?
- Thread starter Yoshi1296
- Start date
Yes but most these tasks have happened before the Grindr issue so I don't think that is the problem here. Also, I talked with HR already about this (we're more friends than coworkers) and she said that it is totally not an issue as this happens many times. He hasn't said anything to her either. He is also a very blunt and up-front person, if he was bothered he would have approached me about it. Also, both of our profiles don't have anything inappropriate or overtly sexual so I don't think there is a real issue. He blocked me and that was it.
Perhaps I'm from a different generation, or maybe I've been working too long, but here's my 2 cents.
I went to college. I got a job. Then I went to law school. I worked as a prosecutor for 10 years and made the switch to a new (to me) area of law essentially starting over.
Let me tell you: nothing I "learned" in college or law school prepared me for practice. It has taken years of experience to understand that. My degrees simply qualified me for an interview. That's it. Once I got my respective jobs, I had to start at hte bottom. When I took my job as a prosecutor I had come from a year long post grad contract position working on a multibillion dollar public international law arbitration case with a Yale law professor. Guess how many of my hard working, trial warrior colleagues in the DA's office cared about that? None. Zero. They were hard refining their own skills, trying tough cases under insanely adverse circumstances of an underfunded office in an urban area. It took me years to build my reputation based on results, character and hard work. YEARS.
Now I'm starting over and proving myself. As a woman, I fully understand and accept it will take me longer than some of my male colleagues at my firm. That's ok. I'll have to be smarter, stronger, more efficient, produce better results, bring in more $$ and have better rapport with my clients to get there.
And you know what? I'll end up smarter, stronger, more efficient, producing better results and bringing in more $$ with clients who respect me and tell all their friends about that lady lawyer who treated them fairly.
It takes time and humility. I also recommend you sit down and really reflect on where you want to be in 5 & 10 years, respectively. Then you can judge everything you do and the career decisions you make on how they are moving you toward that goal.
I left law school with one goal: to be the most skilled trial lawyer in the state. Then I said yes to opportunities I thought would get me there. I hope that helps. It's hard to have a long view when you're starting, but I'll tell you that I don't think you're being treated unfairly.
I went to college. I got a job. Then I went to law school. I worked as a prosecutor for 10 years and made the switch to a new (to me) area of law essentially starting over.
Let me tell you: nothing I "learned" in college or law school prepared me for practice. It has taken years of experience to understand that. My degrees simply qualified me for an interview. That's it. Once I got my respective jobs, I had to start at hte bottom. When I took my job as a prosecutor I had come from a year long post grad contract position working on a multibillion dollar public international law arbitration case with a Yale law professor. Guess how many of my hard working, trial warrior colleagues in the DA's office cared about that? None. Zero. They were hard refining their own skills, trying tough cases under insanely adverse circumstances of an underfunded office in an urban area. It took me years to build my reputation based on results, character and hard work. YEARS.
Now I'm starting over and proving myself. As a woman, I fully understand and accept it will take me longer than some of my male colleagues at my firm. That's ok. I'll have to be smarter, stronger, more efficient, produce better results, bring in more $$ and have better rapport with my clients to get there.
And you know what? I'll end up smarter, stronger, more efficient, producing better results and bringing in more $$ with clients who respect me and tell all their friends about that lady lawyer who treated them fairly.
It takes time and humility. I also recommend you sit down and really reflect on where you want to be in 5 & 10 years, respectively. Then you can judge everything you do and the career decisions you make on how they are moving you toward that goal.
I left law school with one goal: to be the most skilled trial lawyer in the state. Then I said yes to opportunities I thought would get me there. I hope that helps. It's hard to have a long view when you're starting, but I'll tell you that I don't think you're being treated unfairly.
So if you are more friends than coworkers why can’t you be blunt with him about all the menial tasks? You should be able to have a real honest convo with him, no?
I meant friends with HR, not my CMO/manager/grindr guy lol
What is the incident? Sounds like something that would clarify this situation.
Thank you for the advice, I'll try to learn as much as I can and work just as hard as you!
One day I was on grindr and found my boss on there. I didn't recognize his profile because it was a weird angle and kind of an old pic so I tapped to see and recognized it was him but I obviously did not do anything and just closed the app...Later on he saw me on it and blocked me which I know because I checked to see if he did with a dummy account. It really was no biggie though, we never spoke of it because hey, we all are trying to date lol.
This incident happened after he was giving me all these menial tasks, so I'm sure this had nothing to do with it. I spoke with HR and this isn't an issue at my workplace and said not to worry since my manager hasn't said anything about it either.
I booked a 1:1 meeting with him next tuesday to discuss this and new projects to work on. I will keep you all updated. Thanks!
Oh my...from your other thread about your boss:
"Well today while at my desk I was bored and just opened the app to browse like I usually do."
If you truly are serious about your career and want to get ahead, the office is NOT the place to be browsing Grindr.
"Well today while at my desk I was bored and just opened the app to browse like I usually do."
If you truly are serious about your career and want to get ahead, the office is NOT the place to be browsing Grindr.
There is such a thing as prostrating yourself to your boss. You should have said "I'll call facilities to help you move furniture / vacuum / assemble cabinets / etc..." Or hire Task Rabbit or some other service to do it (charge it to the company credit card or get reimbursed). If he asks you to pick up packages tell him that since he usually gets more throughout the day, that you'll pick up all the packages later in the day. Get the work done without resorting to doing the menial tasks yourself -- think outside the box! Communicate to him by your actions that you have other better things to do -- and make sure you actually have other better things to do (like I posted previously, don't wait for him to assign you a real project).
Yeah I definitely learned that. I stopped going on at work. I feel terrible for doing that but oh well...you live and you learn lol
That is a really good idea actually! I never thought of it that way but I think this can be really effective! Thanks!!
Here's the part you may not realize - you could be accused of sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment for browsing a dating/hookup website in the office. That could very easily happen in the open room/multiple desk arrangement you've described. Nothing to do with your boss.
Totally understand. I've 100% stopped doing that since then. Thanks for the heads up.
Update: He's kinda panicky today because the President said he is not satisfied with his delivery. Approached me and a few others for help on a bigger project/projects. I'm excited to start and deliver on those.
He did ask me to take down the post its so lol...baby steps I guess haha.
Thanks!
He did ask me to take down the post its so lol...baby steps I guess haha.
Thanks!