Can someone please help me with a very nasty seller :(
- Thread starter Lisa-Marie
- Start date
It was a rushed decision to open a dispute after 2 days IMO.
Ebay isn't everyone's fulltime job. The other thing is that ebay messages sometimes get sent to the Spam folder and automatically deleted, so unless he logged into ebay he might not have seen your message.
I'd have given him at least 3 days to respond, then send another message, waited another 3 days and send a final message. If no response/item by 30 days I would open a dispute. I mean you messaged him AFTER the auction ended and he shipped your item out, he probably wasn't expecting to hear from you anymore and never bothered logging into ebay to check his messages.
Too harsh to open a dispute after 2 days just to get his attention imo so soon after a sale when there wasn't sufficient time to arrive yet, that's probably why he thought you were trying to take him for a free sale.
Ebay isn't everyone's fulltime job. The other thing is that ebay messages sometimes get sent to the Spam folder and automatically deleted, so unless he logged into ebay he might not have seen your message.
I'd have given him at least 3 days to respond, then send another message, waited another 3 days and send a final message. If no response/item by 30 days I would open a dispute. I mean you messaged him AFTER the auction ended and he shipped your item out, he probably wasn't expecting to hear from you anymore and never bothered logging into ebay to check his messages.
Too harsh to open a dispute after 2 days just to get his attention imo so soon after a sale when there wasn't sufficient time to arrive yet, that's probably why he thought you were trying to take him for a free sale.
You can still leave feedback on a canceled transaction.
The seller is out money, i'd let him have his fees back.
He didn't make any threats.
Why is this such an issue?
He wants his ebay fees back that's all.
It's not going to cost the buyer anything.
Telling the seller you wont and responding that way will just leave it open for the seller to spam her email under another account or post her personal information somewhere.
Cut your losses, it's not worth fighting someone this upset over a DVD.
If you say something to deliberately anger them more, imagine what else they're capable of.
This is so not worth the extended drama.
Just give him what he wants and be done with this guy.
PS OP, I would not be surprised if your item comes within 30 days. It was way harsh to open a dispute to 'chat' simply because you wanted to talk to the seller ovr something that was pretty trivial. You paid, he sent the item out, it's not like he thought you would be messaging him again, I mean what would have been so pressing you needed to speak to him right then and there without giving the DVD sufficient time to even arrive?
Anyway, it's a done deal now, I'd cancel the transaction if I were you and avoid pushing this further then it has to go. I don't understand why some of you are telling her to be vengeful when we know this guy is obviously quick to anger. He knows this girl's name and address. Think about it, we don't want this guy to continue to send these kind of messages to her when they obviously upset her.
Anyway, it's a done deal now, I'd cancel the transaction if I were you and avoid pushing this further then it has to go. I don't understand why some of you are telling her to be vengeful when we know this guy is obviously quick to anger. He knows this girl's name and address. Think about it, we don't want this guy to continue to send these kind of messages to her when they obviously upset her.
I think you misread the OP. She said I paid for the item over 2 weeks ago. Then she adds i emailed the seller 2 days ago. So she waited until almost two weeks after she had paid to even EMAIL the seller. THEN she opened the dispute, just to get him to respond with a tracking #. She started the post on 2/3. And that was already over two weeks after she paid. It has now been another 12 days and still no package, or tracking #.
As for the comment:
He didn't make any threats.
Why is this such an issue?
Did you read through all of the emails he sent her? If this were sent to me, I would feel threatened:
'I am not saying this as a threat whatsoever when I say thisbut I am going to make it a daily ritual to see you go down forbeing a lying pathetic thief'
The buyer opened a dispute two weeks after the transaction, after she was unable to get response from the seller by other means. Two weeks is a very reasonable time to start worrying about delivery.
Are the seller's spam settings the buyers problem? I don't think so. I would also like to add that in my experience, many sellers simply won't respond unless one opens a dispute. Then suddenly the spam folder gets purged and messages somehow start making through. It's like magic.
In my experience, the earlier one gets alerted to the problem, the sooner the problem gets solved. The longer it gets dragged out, the slower it gets sorted out. People forget things and before long nobody knows what you are talking about. I can inqure about a package I have left at the post office one or so weeks ago. A package left a month ago, forget it.
If he has indeed shipped the item out then he would have had a tracking number, would not he? I enter tracking numbers into Paypal after I ship my items out. My buyers never have to beg me for a tracking number.
Of course, I have won every INR dispute I have ever had because I have had a valid tracking number ready. This guy has obviously never bothered with tracking and is now taking out his frustration on the innocent buyer. If I were the buyer I would have not cancelled the transaction and would have left him a negative. I would have also given a phone call to his local police dept. If the seller resides in a small town they might just agree to make a 'house call' to see what's up with this irritable individual.
p-WA
'I am not saying this as a threat whatsoever when I say thisbut I am going to make it a daily ritual to see you go down forbeing a lying pathetic thief'
If that isn't a threat, well than I don't know what is
Correct, I never read 'I will kill you" or "I'm coming to your house to gun you down" but sometimes you don't get obvious statements like that prior to knowing someone's a bit off their rocker in passion about selling.
The seller if they were angry to begin with, might spam her or post her info anywhere DESPITE anything she might say (be it positive or negative)... we can advise the OP all we want, but there's nothing to make adequate assumptions about how the seller will react. Unless one of us have dealt with this seller before, then we don't have any more insight than the OP does from the communication they have been receiving themselves.
And it's just my opinion, but the "give him what he wants and be done with this guy" is probably or POTENTIALLY the same attitude a previous buyer might have also felt in regards to another auction... at what point do buyers stand up and fight for their right to communicate their concerns without being in fear of physical or internet retaliation from the seller? No matter how well the buyer or OP might word their emails, seller might take any statement offensively and retaliate.
We can't tell the OP what to do, but we can give her some options, and then I would assume she'll weigh all of our ideas based on her experiences with the seller so far and make the choice that's the best fit for her.
In the real world we seldom have any protection against terrible immature people. Sure you can call the police, they might go over there and talk to the instigator, but very little would be done unless you're sitting there either very hurt or dead. So either you are so angry you would like to leave negative and refuse to let the seller get his fees back despite keeping this person in contact longer, or wish to just cancel the transaction so he can get some fees back and leave you alone.
If this person was face to face with you, would you be so bold as to give negative feedback? IMO, if it's something you wouldn't say to the man's face, you probably shouldn't say it under the protection of the internet either. You never know what some people are capable of. This is not really worth wondering if the seller has posted your physical address on a craigslist for illicit activity etc.
OP, I would also send him a message that if and when the DVD arrives you will either pay for it or send it back, and I sincerely hope that you do despite whether or not the guy is a jerk. You don't want someone this pathetic thinking you got one over on him, he doesn't sound like he let's things go.
If the person was face to face with me, I'd probably make a judgment call on what I said or did at the moment... I can't make those type of action guesses when I'm not in the heat of the moment and have my wits about me as I do now.
That said, I don't believe in letting people bully just because they have tools to use (the internet, craigslist, etc) as I have the same tools as them... it just depends on if I want to utilize them or not. I've had unfortunate experiences with bullying both in person, and over the internet for years. I play what I like to call "defensively aggressive", I'm aggressive about being defensive and defending myself.
I hope OP can find a way to leave appropriate negative feedback that will warn others of the seller's attitude and aggressive behavior so that other buyers are forewarned about the behavior and don't have to suffer what OP is suffering from the communication so far.
But then again, you probably wouldn't be as bothered by this guy as op sounds. Some people just have lower tolerance of idiots and can handle their retaliation better.
However, would you have opened a dispute with this guy after 2 weeks on a parcel from US to UK? The item is probably still in customs and will be there shortly. I can't think of anything that was so important after 2 weeks, she had to open a dispute. I see why the seller suspects a scam from OP. Maybe she's new to ebay but unless it had been 30 days and no receipt or you received the item and something was wrong, opening a dispute in the first place was not necessary and provoked the guy off his meds.
2 weeks is not sufficient from US to UK regular airmail, there's no targeted delivery time. In my experience it takes at least 1 month. This is a US customs delay, other countries it's much faster, but anything going into and coming out of US airmail takes about 1 month. Items can sit in customs up to 2 weeks.
The buyer has 45 days to open a pp. She could reasonably open dialog after 30 days and escalate that to a claim a week later.
That to me says he's going to try everything to let ebay and paypal know she got her item and she scammed him.'I am not saying this as a threat whatsoever when I say thisbut I am going to make it a daily ritual to see you go down forbeing a lying pathetic thief'
If that isn't a threat, well than I don't know what is
I would hardly lose sleep over that.
Take into consideration she did open a claim without giving sufficient time for the item to arrive.
If you want your item within a week, order domestically. It is the actions of OP, that make buying from international sellers more difficult for the rest of us. They wont send anything out without it being fully insured and tracked even a $5 or CD. Who wants to pay $40 to ship a $5 item? Seriously, expecting your international item to arrive at domestic shipping speeds needs a reality check.