Ahoy polloi (an island for the masses)

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#10,831
Murphy47 said:
Being a SAHM even for a short time is a different kind of challenge.
Think of yourself as CEO of your family. And you have relocated your office to home.
Since it is your office, decorate it in a way that makes you happy and ready to work.
Get up and get dressed at close to your usual time. You'll feel like getting things done if you're not in your pajamas.
If you used to have a commute to work use that time to exercise/walk. Keep moving to keep your mood elevated.
Take coffee breaks periodically just as you did at the office. Catch up on the news. Call a friend or family member if they are available so you don't feel isolated.
If you used to go out to lunch while at work, make sure you set aside a little money each week to do the same thing now. Don't stay cooped up in the house.
From your posts, it sounded as if you were working on setting up your own business. Continue to work on that. Make plans, keep in touch with your connections and finance people. Learn everything you can about the business you want to start.
Will you have the opportunity to pick your daughter up from school? If so, I would recommend it. When they burst through the doors at the end of the day they just spill out all the things that happened and you can find out how things really went instead of hearing "fine". If you can't pick her up you may have to work a little harder to get her to open up.
My oldest was smart but had problems staying on task. I had to sit close by and keep an eye on her to keep her on task. She had so MANY things she was interested in it was a challenge to keep her attention on the task in front of her.
The youngest has a very high IQ and the work was always too easy for her. She was bored and the challenge was to get her to compete the work so she could keep moving up. The challenge with her was to keep her going through the motions until the work was hard enough to keep her interested. Lots of clubs and extra activities with that one.
All moms have a hard job whether they work inside or outside the home. Rearing happy, productive, non spoiled members of society isn't easy. You will find your way, just give it time. And try to enjoy the slower pace. [emoji3]
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This is such a wisely spoken post. :tup:
 
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#10,832
Murphy47 said:
They local wisdom here is "if you don't like the weather here, hang around an hour, it'll change."
In the last week we have had snow flurries, two days of 70F temperatures and two days (so far) of freezing rain. Monday it's supposed to hit 50F. Not watching the weather reports isn't an option.
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:wtf: Woah! Your weather is busy!! It is not that busy around here. Just winter. Thank God.
Murphy47 said:
Ooooh nooo.....
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Yes. Nothing happened yet, but it will I fear. I have no self control at the moment. I am really going to ban myself after that. :doh:
 
#10,834
Ludmilla said:
:wtf: Woah! Your weather is busy!! It is not that busy around here. Just winter. Thank God.

Yes. Nothing happened yet, but it will I fear. I have no self control at the moment. I am really going to ban myself after that. :doh:
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Bam is such a HARSH word. And in my experience, setting one up for failure.
The word "avoidance" or "change of focus" works much better IMO.
 
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#10,836
Murphy47 said:
Thanks!
What I have learned as I have "matured" is that being a woman is a challenge whether you have husband, kids, family or not.
Being supportive of each other is what counts!
My favorite thing about the island.
We are friendly enablers
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This is so true. You get fire for everything you do as a woman. Exhausting. It's nice to get support from others. :hugs::drinks:
 
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#10,838
Murphy47 said:
Being a SAHM even for a short time is a different kind of challenge.
Think of yourself as CEO of your family. And you have relocated your office to home.
Since it is your office, decorate it in a way that makes you happy and ready to work.
Get up and get dressed at close to your usual time. You'll feel like getting things done if you're not in your pajamas.
If you used to have a commute to work use that time to exercise/walk. Keep moving to keep your mood elevated.
Take coffee breaks periodically just as you did at the office. Catch up on the news. Call a friend or family member if they are available so you don't feel isolated.
If you used to go out to lunch while at work, make sure you set aside a little money each week to do the same thing now. Don't stay cooped up in the house.
From your posts, it sounded as if you were working on setting up your own business. Continue to work on that. Make plans, keep in touch with your connections and finance people. Learn everything you can about the business you want to start.
Will you have the opportunity to pick your daughter up from school? If so, I would recommend it. When they burst through the doors at the end of the day they just spill out all the things that happened and you can find out how things really went instead of hearing "fine". If you can't pick her up you may have to work a little harder to get her to open up.
My oldest was smart but had problems staying on task. I had to sit close by and keep an eye on her to keep her on task. She had so MANY things she was interested in it was a challenge to keep her attention on the task in front of her.
The youngest has a very high IQ and the work was always too easy for her. She was bored and the challenge was to get her to compete the work so she could keep moving up. The challenge with her was to keep her going through the motions until the work was hard enough to keep her interested. Lots of clubs and extra activities with that one.
All moms have a hard job whether they work inside or outside the home. Rearing happy, productive, non spoiled members of society isn't easy. You will find your way, just give it time. And try to enjoy the slower pace. [emoji3]
Click to expand...


Dear Murphy47,

thank you so much for your wise and encouraging words and your wisdom. I had to quote everything as I don't want to miss a point, I printed it out and am going to

Beeing the CEO: one of the biggest tasks I have is not earning my own money. I guess I have to get used to it.
Getting up and getting dressed is a really wise advice. It am totally convinced that this makes a hughe difference in how you see yourself. I promise to stick to that.
Walking.. well I have a dog;) But I know what you mean. I was thinking about starting running again?
Picking my daughter up from school: actually I was thinking that I should let her go home by herself but you are right. This week we / I had talks each day with the school and so we / or I picked her up from school. I really heard how school was instead of the typical " fine, thank" reply, everybody seems to hear from his or her children... So I'll do that.
Business: Until now I have been working as a freelancer. My job is or was to teach: a) people who are interested in using the Internet / Smartphone- Tablet-Phablet but won't work their way through it by themselves (which means: elderly people, dissabled people. We still have only 4 % internetusers in the age of 80+ which you could consider my customers. Don't know the figures for dissabled persons over here, but that is the second group I am teaching.) and b) companies: how to redesign their webpages in terms of accessibility. I was a one woman show ;) and wanted to make the next step: to expand my business. Well... Actually I am thinking of perhaps - don't know- maybe attending University. There is a new Master "geragogic". What do you think?
Yes! All moms have a really hard job. Reading your experiences made me not feeling so alone any more. I don't know what the German problem (I'll come back to that in my answer to Ludmilla) with the MOTHER-figure is, but, beeing a mother over here means not to commit ANY weakness. That is so sad, as women should stick together, it is still hard to be a woman, no matter if married or single or having children or not wanting children or..or..or. This is why I really feel lucky beeing here.

I thank you SO much for your empowering and wise words. :love:
 
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#10,839
millivanilli said:
Dear Murphy47,

thank you so much for your wise and encouraging words and your wisdom. I had to quote everything as I don't want to miss a point, I printed it out and am going to

Beeing the CEO: one of the biggest tasks I have is not earning my own money. I guess I have to get used to it.
Getting up and getting dressed is a really wise advice. It am totally convinced that this makes a hughe difference in how you see yourself. I promise to stick to that.
Walking.. well I have a dog;) But I know what you mean. I was thinking about starting running again?
Picking my daughter up from school: actually I was thinking that I should let her go home by herself but you are right. This week we / I had talks each day with the school and so we / or I picked her up from school. I really heard how school was instead of the typical " fine, thank" reply, everybody seems to hear from his or her children... So I'll do that.
Business: Until now I have been working as a freelancer. My job is or was to teach: a) people who are interested in using the Internet / Smartphone- Tablet-Phablet but won't work their way through it by themselves (which means: elderly people, dissabled people. We still have only 4 % internetusers in the age of 80+ which you could consider my customers. Don't know the figures for dissabled persons over here, but that is the second group I am teaching.) and b) companies: how to redesign their webpages in terms of accessibility. I was a one woman show ;) and wanted to make the next step: to expand my business. Well... Actually I am thinking of perhaps - don't know- maybe attending University. There is a new Master "geragogic". What do you think?
Yes! All moms have a really hard job. Reading your experiences made me not feeling so alone any more. I don't know what the German problem (I'll come back to that in my answer to Ludmilla) with the MOTHER-figure is, but, beeing a mother over here means not to commit ANY weakness. That is so sad, as women should stick together, it is still hard to be a woman, no matter if married or single or having children or not wanting children or..or..or. This is why I really feel lucky beeing here.

I thank you SO much for your empowering and wise words. :love:
Click to expand...

We have to get into talks about German mothers later as I am pretending to be Julia Childs [emoji41]
 
#10,840
Ludmilla said:
Awww. I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, I have no good tips for you as I don't have any children of my own. I was sent to school a year early - late in year birthday - and I was for a long time the smallest and thinnest in the classroom. I had problems in Gymnasium until the 9th grade. Then I was on par with the others... I can totally understand that your daughter is struggling... There are no schools for the "high achievers" in your area I guess?

Are there any kinds of work related to your business you could do from home?

Don't stay silent for too long. We are all here blaming the roosters with you. :hugs:
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Dear Ludmilla :love:

thank you so much. Actually I never thought and I'll never think that having children is relevant for giving advice. Sometimes it is really helpfull to listen to somebody who has an objective sight on the things.And so is your advice I read through the lines! Frankly said (as mentioned before you know it's unheard off to admitt weakness or struggles) I feel dissapointed and frustrated. My daughter is the total opposite to me, I am the outgoing, vivid, having -and showing;)- a strong will- person while my daughter is soft and sweet and shy and fine and tries to please everybody. Reading that you can understand her struggling means that it is normal to struggle, which was a hughe moment for me as till now I always thought " why doesn't she ..? Why can't she ... Why won't she... Why is...." and so on.
So thank you for your advice to see the world through my daughters eyes. :hugs:

Ah, Edit: next would be Schloss Neubeuern. Hefty prices and a boarding school. The school she is attending is considered to be the high achievers Gymnasium for that area, but as you know, we don't have that over here. Sometimes I wish we would. Sometimes I am happy that we don't have it and have a sort of equal education, which turns out to be (all sorts of)capital(s) oriented though. (following esteemed old combat fighter Bourdieu..)
 
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#10,841
Murphy47 said:
We have to get into talks about German mothers later as I am pretending to be Julia Childs [emoji41]
Click to expand...


:love: cooking french cuisine? TASTY! I made Lasagne for the soul. So off I am too. I'd love to talk to you later. German mothers: well... blame it on the history or I don't know but we would rather die than to admit any weakness either in our children or in ourselves. Made a Milli pretty lonely on playground. Typical German talk would be:
Mother 1: (while watching a toddler trying to crawl to a spade with the clear intention to hammer at the head of another toddler) " uuuuuuuuuuhhh my Vincent Tadäus Maximilian Matthew, isn't he SMART! He started walking at the age of 6 months. *raising eybrowse to Mother 2* yours isn't so up to date, is he? How old is he? 9 months? STILL no speaking? Well, MY Vincent Tadäus...(fill in the names) is already capable of talking 3 words sentences. And yesterday he made such a great remark about life and death. I guess I should get him tested..."
Meanwhile Vincent Tadäus (fill in the names) reached the spade, put it into his hands and hammers at the head of the other toddler with relish.
Mother 2: " erm... your son uses the head of my son as a hammerboard...?"
Mother 1: " yes, isn't he assertive?"

I'm off now too. For remaining silent I used a lot of words ;)

Thank you ALL! all all all ALL.
 
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#10,842
Murphy47 said:
Is there a festival in January or should we make up our own?
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28th Lunar New Year festival begins
(aka day o' ginormous mutant rooster bag charm on poppy red mulberry bayswater)
But making up celebrations rocks, too.:drinks:
Murphy47 said:
Ban is such a HARSH word. And in my experience, setting one up for failure.
The word "avoidance" or "change of focus" works much better IMO.
Click to expand...
Possibly extend words into phrases?
As, "ipad hidden from busy hands," & "handcuffed to a chair, out of temptation's evil pathway." :rofl:
 
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#10,844
millivanilli said:
:love: cooking french cuisine? TASTY! I made Lasagne for the soul. So off I am too. I'd love to talk to you later. German mothers: well... blame it on the history or I don't know but we would rather die than to admit any weakness either in our children or in ourselves. Made a Milli pretty lonely on playground. Typical German talk would be:
Mother 1: (while watching a toddler trying to crawl to a spade with the clear intention to hammer at the head of another toddler) " uuuuuuuuuuhhh my Vincent Tadäus Maximilian Matthew, isn't he SMART! He started walking at the age of 6 months. *raising eybrowse to Mother 2* yours isn't so up to date, is he? How old is he? 9 months? STILL no speaking? Well, MY Vincent Tadäus...(fill in the names) is already capable of talking 3 words sentences. And yesterday he made such a great remark about life and death. I guess I should get him tested..."
Meanwhile Vincent Tadäus (fill in the names) reached the spade, put it into his hands and hammers at the head of the other toddler with relish.
Mother 2: " erm... your son uses the head of my son as a hammerboard...?"
Mother 1: " yes, isn't he assertive?"

I'm off now too. For remaining silent I used a lot of words ;)

Thank you ALL! all all all ALL.
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Ahhh the playground moms... blah! To each their own.

I've been a sahm until this past October when I went to work full time. You can do this and do it with pride. You're giving your child(ren) yourself and that is awesome. Time passes quickly as I'm sure you know. I wish I had some golden words of wisdom m. I don't just know you're not alone
 
#10,845
Tomsmom said:
Ahhh the playground moms... blah! To each their own.

I've been a sahm until this past October when I went to work full time. You can do this and do it with pride. You're giving your child(ren) yourself and that is awesome. Time passes quickly as I'm sure you know. I wish I had some golden words of wisdom m. I don't just know you're not alone
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Amen sister!
All the ladies here on the island give such great advice with all our varied experiences.
Plus, we are completely sympathetic. And encouraging of each other.
 
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