Do wet want some new challenges in August?
How about wearing one non-black neutral per week (whatever is a neutral for you)
How about wearing one non-black neutral per week (whatever is a neutral for you)
2025 Resolution: Shopping my own Bag and SLG Collection
- Thread starter papertiger
- Start date
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Hang in there! I get in this mode every time I’m feeling overwhelmed by stuff (e.g., my twice yearly closet rotations, during which I do a deep clean). I know I’m emotional during this time and that any response I have is just that - emotional - so I wait until things calm down and revisit. If I’m still feeling like something needs to go, then I’ll let it go.
On hair, mine has been short since the late 1990s when my hairdresser convinced me to take this plunge, so I am no help there! The only thing I can offer is that hair grows back, so if you do cut it, you can always grow it out again.
Hugs to you!
Interestingly, I find the Prada bags to be fairly light. I think it’s all relative. My one Chanel double flap Jumbo is stupidly heavy. Lol!
The DZT has a zippered compartment on either side with an open middle. Neither zip section is removable.
Thanks for the insight. I saw that they have the color & size I want in stock. I think I’ll buy directly from YSL. My (mis)adventures from last year have put me off preowned bags for a while.
Hey, @Cookiefiend!
It’s always good to hear from you.When there is a lot going on, I think it’s wise to say “no” more often than “yes”. You need your ability to focus. I thought you’d already finished your home sale and move. (?)
You’re welcome, and please share a picture once you receive it, if you’re inclined. Would love to see what you picked out!
Will do! I’m just trying to wrestle with breaking ban guilt to decide if I can buy.
Today I REALLY struggled to avoid retail therapy. I came within a hair of buying two fine jewelry bracelets AND two handbags. 
None of which were planned or needed. (And with what I own, I could never call any new handbag or piece of jewelry a “need”.)
But, I’m feeling sorry for myself about my health and temptation appeared.
To wrestle myself back to sanity, I:
So stay focused, I shall!
None of which were planned or needed. (And with what I own, I could never call any new handbag or piece of jewelry a “need”.)But, I’m feeling sorry for myself about my health and temptation appeared.
To wrestle myself back to sanity, I:
- Reminded myself I don’t have to buy today. Things will be there.
- Reoriented myself with “thrifty” money oriented threads on tPF.
- Played with the jewelry I already own.
- Reminded myself how much more I like financial freedom than “stuff” - I want to retire very early to travel and play.
- Remembered my 2024 shopping sprees didn’t solve anything.
- Cleaned my kitchen like a fleet of inspectors were coming to visit.
- Made progress towards better health by meal prepping for the week, setting out my gym clothes for tomorrow and planning my week of workouts.
So stay focused, I shall!
Well done!❤️❤️❤️Today I REALLY struggled to avoid retail therapy. I came within a hair of buying two fine jewelry bracelets AND two handbags.
But, I’m feeling sorry for myself about my health and temptation appeared.
To wrestle myself back to sanity, I:
Obviously, I truly struggled which lets me know I’m right to stay on ban til I solve my core issue - getting back to my previous fitness level. If I felt and looked like I did in 2023, I would be busy living life and not sitting at home surfing the internet potentially wasting money.
- Reminded myself I don’t have to buy today. Things will be there.
- Reoriented myself with “thrifty” money oriented threads on tPF.
- Played with the jewelry I already own.
- Reminded myself how much more I like financial freedom than “stuff” - I want to retire very early to travel and play.
- Remembered my 2024 shopping sprees didn’t solve anything.
- Cleaned my kitchen like a fleet of inspectors were coming to visit.
- Made progress towards better health by meal prepping for the week, setting out my gym clothes for tomorrow and planning my week of workouts.
So stay focused, I shall!
This sounds amazing! And, doableToday I REALLY struggled to avoid retail therapy. I came within a hair of buying two fine jewelry bracelets AND two handbags.
But, I’m feeling sorry for myself about my health and temptation appeared.
To wrestle myself back to sanity, I:
Obviously, I truly struggled which lets me know I’m right to stay on ban til I solve my core issue - getting back to my previous fitness level. If I felt and looked like I did in 2023, I would be busy living life and not sitting at home surfing the internet potentially wasting money.
- Reminded myself I don’t have to buy today. Things will be there.
- Reoriented myself with “thrifty” money oriented threads on tPF.
- Played with the jewelry I already own.
- Reminded myself how much more I like financial freedom than “stuff” - I want to retire very early to travel and play.
- Remembered my 2024 shopping sprees didn’t solve anything.
- Cleaned my kitchen like a fleet of inspectors were coming to visit.
- Made progress towards better health by meal prepping for the week, setting out my gym clothes for tomorrow and planning my week of workouts.
So stay focused, I shall!
Re the Mac Mara tote and others. Have you tried marketplaza ?
Moving is always a challenge, but multiple moves (homes and business) is a massive undertaking. You and @Vintage Leather both totally uprooted last year, and you will both be feeling the weight of that. It's just a lot to deal with on every level.
Be kind to yourself during this time. It's a lot of work, and I don't think we can ever be fully prepared for just how much work it is! A fresh start is very exciting but also brings a host of challenges and tasks that need to be completed. You should just be proud of how much you've already accomplished, and take the remainder slowly so that you're not as overwhelmed.
With regards to needing more bags, I'll tell you what I tell myself every single time I make a move to a new country and have to ask myself this question (because moving involves arranging for my cats and my storage unit with its contents to be moved as well): nope, I do not need more than whichever beater bag I'm currently carrying!
Frankly, we don't need more than 1 at a time, ever. We are the ones who think of reasons to have more- a 'work' bag, an 'errands' bag, a 'dog-walking' bag, an 'evening' bag... because we love, love, love bags!
But you want more than the ones that are high-functioning. You want ones that will fill those little gaps and ones that will just make you smile even if they're not your daily carry. That's just as valid an option as being super minimalist!
Please don't make big sales when you're feeling overwhelmed. Rational and logical as it may be, clearing out during turbulent times is likely to lead to regret. Especially as some bags simply can't be replaced.
Pack everything up or put it into storage, and slowly re-evaluate your collection once everything is settled. You may still opt to drastically downsize (and having done that myself, it is truly freeing), but at least if you come to that decision once you're in a more stable place, you won't be second-guessing it.
As for the hair, if you want to do it, I will echo @DME and say go ahead because it grows back! I tend to chop all mine off when I'm going through big changes. It's one less thing to think about when I'm already spread thin working on more important stuff. Short hair (as short as I have it) doesn't need styling and always looks neat, so it's just one less thing to faff with when I'm super busy and overwhelmed. And, if it doesn't work out, it grows out and you'll soon be back at the length you prefer.
Sending big cuddles to gorgeous Coco!
Edit: I just remembered you have a Vibrato (Pico, isn't it?) and you didn't list that on your shortlist of bags to stay! Please don't make any bag decisions right now! I would cry if you sold that bag!
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Hey Sparks, you're too hard on yourself!
You've had brain surgery and multiple follow up surgeries! You're allowed to take a breath and take some time bouncing back!
You don't need to be the best version of yourself to be out living your life instead of browsing online. If I had waited until I wasn't ill to live, I would've wasted years of my life.
It's bad enough that we lose time in the hospital preparing for these surgeries, then recovering post-operatively, and then lose more time as we gradually start feeling like ourselves and returning to the real world. Don't impose a further limitation by waiting until you're at your goals to live fully.
I don't know if I'm explaining myself well, but I understand how you feel. I've been in and out of hospital since 2017 and have had more surgeries than I can count. I did a lot of online shopping and my collection saw a lot of movement from around 2018-2022-ish. I was feeling sorry for myself, quite literally having my 'last hoorah' since I was told I was dying anyway. I posted a lot on here, I browsed a lot, I accepted bags from friends who wanted me to feel sated while I had the chance. My bag collection had a lot of ins and a lot of outs. Now, I'm still here, and looking back, all that movement didn't really help anything. Retail therapy didn't help, not even a little.
I didn't feel better, I didn't feel like more of myself, and I didn't even enjoy my purchases! In fact, I made some really bad bag purchases that I let go of as soon as I received them. It was all supposed to be a pleasant distraction as I built my ideal collection, but instead, it was noise. It me "handling stuff" and keeping my hands and mind occupied, when I should have just "sat". I should have just sat with the feeling of being fed up of hospitals, of not being quite myself, of not knowing what comes next. I should have sat with the uncomfortable feelings and accepted this chapter isn't what I wanted for myself, but it is what it is.
It's almost like when people set a '1 in- 1 out' rule for their bag collections. It serves a purpose of containing the total collection so it doesn't grow exponentially, but... you're still consuming. You're not content, you're not sitting with what you already own, you're still in the cycle, just under a different format.
Does that make sense?
Sometimes we get stuck in a pattern that we think is serving us when it isn't. What serves us better is just sitting with the reality that the present circumstances aren't ideal. You're not as fit as you were, you're not as healthy as you were, and that's okay! You will get there. I promise you will. Your body has endured a lot and it's tired. It'll bounce back when it's ready. You can feel really good in your skin right now, even if it's not the skin you're used to.
Fighting the reality of now and putting all this extra mental pressure on yourself to get back to your 'best self' isn't serving you. Retail therapy to cope with your disappointment won't soothe you. It won't make any of it happen any faster, it'll just make you feel depressed on the way to your end goal. You're walking the same road to your goal post and you will reach that finish line- there is no doubt. The choice you have to make is if you're going to beat yourself up the whole way there or if you're going to thank your body for the journey it's taking. Does any of that make sense?
I'm just trying to tell you to be gentle with yourself because, my dear pocket friend, you've been through a lot! You're allowed to take time to be your best again. And everything you are right now is perfect anyway! You may not feel like your best self, but you are still perfect in this state. Nobody sees the imperfection you do. Take a deep breath and know that you will reach all your goals because you're already on the way there. Enjoy the journey and stop looking for distractions from it. There is a lot of peace to be found if you're not busy distracting yourself from it.
I'm not sure if any of this is clear or if you can tell that I'm saying all this gently and with kindness (impossible to convey tone in writing!) but I assure you that I am. I have been exactly where you are, and am, in fact, in this battle with myself right now. I tell myself everything I have told you and it helps me get grounded and focused on the right things again.
Be proud of yourself because you've taken these hard knocks with grace. You've got this. Focus on how strong you body is to have survived all this, rather on how much it has changed.
I love your overall aim to buy only true loves! It's what we should all aspire to, so thank you for always reminding us of that!
Edit: I wish there was someone else saying all this instead of me. I feel like someone smarter would say it all better! I'm sending you virtual hugs! The hardest parts are already over and you handled all that so well. Hopefully life just keeps getting better and you soon feel 100% again!
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You said every word perfectly. So much so that I feel like I received a hug and a therapy session in one.Hey Sparks, you're too hard on yourself!
You've had brain surgery and multiple follow up surgeries! You're allowed to take a breath and take some time bouncing back!
You don't need to be the best version of yourself to be out living your life instead of browsing online. If I had waited until I wasn't ill to live, I would've wasted years of my life.
It's bad enough that we lose time in the hospital preparing for these surgeries, then recovering post-operatively, and then lose more time as we gradually start feeling like ourselves and returning to the real world. Don't impose a further limitation by waiting until you're at your goals to live fully.
I don't know if I'm explaining myself well, but I understand how you feel. I've been in and out of hospital since 2017 and have had more surgeries than I can count. I did a lot of online shopping and my collection saw a lot of movement from around 2018-2022-ish. I was feeling sorry for myself, quite literally having my 'last hoorah' since I was told I was dying anyway. I posted a lot on here, I browsed a lot, I accepted bags from friends who wanted me to feel sated while I had the chance. My bag collection had a lot of ins and a lot of outs. Now, I'm still here, and looking back, all that movement didn't really help anything. Retail therapy didn't help, not even a little.
I didn't feel better, I didn't feel like more of myself, and I didn't even enjoy my purchases! In fact, I made some really bad bag purchases that I let go of as soon as I received them. It was all supposed to be a pleasant distraction as I built my ideal collection, but instead, it was noise. It me "handling stuff" and keeping my hands and mind occupied, when I should have just "sat". I should have just sat with the feeling of being fed up of hospitals, of not being quite myself, of not knowing what comes next. I should have sat with the uncomfortable feelings and accepted this chapter isn't what I wanted for myself, but it is what it is.
It's almost like when people set a '1 in- 1 out' rule for their bag collections. It serves a purpose of containing the total collection so it doesn't grow exponentially, but... you're still consuming. You're not content, you're not sitting with what you already own, you're still in the cycle, just under a different format.
Does that make sense?
Sometimes we get stuck in a pattern that we think is serving us when it isn't. What serves us better is just sitting with the reality that the present circumstances aren't ideal. You're not as fit as you were, you're not as healthy as you were, and that's okay! You will get there. I promise you will. Your body has endured a lot and it's tired. It'll bounce back when it's ready. You can feel really good in your skin right now, even if it's not the skin you're used to.
Fighting the reality of now and putting all this extra mental pressure on yourself to get back to your 'best self' isn't serving you. Retail therapy to cope with your disappointment won't soothe you. It won't make any of it happen any faster, it'll just make you feel depressed on the way to your end goal. You're walking the same road to your goal post and you will reach that finish line- there is no doubt. The choice you have to make is if you're going to beat yourself up the whole way there or if you're going to thank your body for the journey it's taking. Does any of that make sense?
I'm just trying to tell you to be gentle with yourself because, my dear pocket friend, you've been through a lot! You're allowed to take time to be your best again. And everything you are right now is perfect anyway! You may not feel like your best self, but you are still perfect in this state. Nobody sees the imperfection you do. Take a deep breath and know that you will reach all your goals because you're already on the way there. Enjoy the journey and stop looking for distractions from it. There is a lot of peace to be found if you're not busy distracting yourself from it.
I'm not sure if any of this is clear or if you can tell that I'm saying all this gently and with kindness (impossible to convey tone in writing!) but I assure you that I am. I have been exactly where you are, and am, in fact, in this battle with myself right now. I tell myself everything I have told you and it helps me get grounded and focused on the right things again.
Be proud of yourself because you've taken these hard knocks with grace. You've got this. Focus on how strong you body is to have survived all this, rather on how much it has changed.
I love your overall aim to buy only true loves! It's what we should all aspire to, so thank you for always reminding us of that!
Edit: I wish there was someone else saying all this instead of me. I feel like someone smarter would say it all better! I'm sending you virtual hugs! The hardest parts are already over and you handled all that so well. Hopefully life just keeps getting better and you soon feel 100% again!
I love your comment so much that I’m going to print it and keep it in my journal.You’re 100% right. I need to stop being so hard on myself. Being a broken, half functioning type A isn’t serving me at all. It’s just frustrating myself.
I need to learn to just “be” —> let the emotions, thoughts and healing run their course. I’ve been trying to ignore / extinguish / cover up / outrun / deny a lot of emotions and limitations and… I can’t. 🫤 Because, I shouldn’t. (Ugh.) I need to heal properly so the emotions - and physical ailments - don’t rebound on me.
I think instead of being on ban, I’m just going to reframe what I’m doing: 360 degree slow, peaceful healing. Not mindless distractions and overspending.
Thanks, dear friend!
Thank you for the kind words!Hey, @Cookiefiend!
When there is a lot going on, I think it’s wise to say “no” more often than “yes”. You need your ability to focus. I thought you’d already finished your home sale and move. (?)
We did close on the house December 9th - so just over a month ago. What a relief!
We are mostly settled in the new house(s).
We need bookshelves and a few decorative things still; home office furniture has been ordered and hopefully will be delivered in late February or early March.
The office move is still in progress - I am trying to tell myself "EVERYthing is going to be alright"... and not spazz out because the office isn't ready. I don't know how they're going to get it done by the 30th. But the movers are coming so the furniture is going somewhere there. There are no appointments scheduled for that week or the next (except for Teams Meetings), so we can (hopefully) work around any issues before we do have clients coming in.
It's all gonna bee okay.
You are such a thoughtful person. Thank you so much!Moving is always a challenge, but multiple moves (homes and business) is a massive undertaking. You and @Vintage Leather both totally uprooted last year, and you will both be feeling the weight of that. It's just a lot to deal with on every level.
Be kind to yourself during this time. It's a lot of work, and I don't think we can ever be fully prepared for just how much work it is! A fresh start is very exciting but also brings a host of challenges and tasks that need to be completed. You should just be proud of how much you've already accomplished, and take the remainder slowly so that you're not as overwhelmed.
With regards to needing more bags, I'll tell you what I tell myself every single time I make a move to a new country and have to ask myself this question (because moving involves arranging for my cats and my storage unit with its contents to be moved as well): nope, I do not need more than whichever beater bag I'm currently carrying!
Frankly, we don't need more than 1 at a time, ever. We are the ones who think of reasons to have more- a 'work' bag, an 'errands' bag, a 'dog-walking' bag, an 'evening' bag... because we love, love, love bags!
But you want more than the ones that are high-functioning. You want ones that will fill those little gaps and ones that will just make you smile even if they're not your daily carry. That's just as valid an option as being super minimalist!
Please don't make big sales when you're feeling overwhelmed. Rational and logical as it may be, clearing out during turbulent times is likely to lead to regret. Especially as some bags simply can't be replaced.
Pack everything up or put it into storage, and slowly re-evaluate your collection once everything is settled. You may still opt to drastically downsize (and having done that myself, it is truly freeing), but at least if you come to that decision once you're in a more stable place, you won't be second-guessing it.
As for the hair, if you want to do it, I will echo @DME and say go ahead because it grows back! I tend to chop all mine off when I'm going through big changes. It's one less thing to think about when I'm already spread thin working on more important stuff. Short hair (as short as I have it) doesn't need styling and always looks neat, so it's just one less thing to faff with when I'm super busy and overwhelmed. And, if it doesn't work out, it grows out and you'll soon be back at the length you prefer.
Sending big cuddles to gorgeous Coco!
Edit: I just remembered you have a Vibrato (Pico, isn't it?) and you didn't list that on your shortlist of bags to stay! Please don't make any bag decisions right now! I would cry if you sold that bag!
I do have a Vibrato Pico - I love it still and it's definitely a keeper!
Amazing post! Don't put yourself down. You said it eloquently!Hey Sparks, you're too hard on yourself!
You've had brain surgery and multiple follow up surgeries! You're allowed to take a breath and take some time bouncing back!
You don't need to be the best version of yourself to be out living your life instead of browsing online. If I had waited until I wasn't ill to live, I would've wasted years of my life.
It's bad enough that we lose time in the hospital preparing for these surgeries, then recovering post-operatively, and then lose more time as we gradually start feeling like ourselves and returning to the real world. Don't impose a further limitation by waiting until you're at your goals to live fully.
I don't know if I'm explaining myself well, but I understand how you feel. I've been in and out of hospital since 2017 and have had more surgeries than I can count. I did a lot of online shopping and my collection saw a lot of movement from around 2018-2022-ish. I was feeling sorry for myself, quite literally having my 'last hoorah' since I was told I was dying anyway. I posted a lot on here, I browsed a lot, I accepted bags from friends who wanted me to feel sated while I had the chance. My bag collection had a lot of ins and a lot of outs. Now, I'm still here, and looking back, all that movement didn't really help anything. Retail therapy didn't help, not even a little.
I didn't feel better, I didn't feel like more of myself, and I didn't even enjoy my purchases! In fact, I made some really bad bag purchases that I let go of as soon as I received them. It was all supposed to be a pleasant distraction as I built my ideal collection, but instead, it was noise. It me "handling stuff" and keeping my hands and mind occupied, when I should have just "sat". I should have just sat with the feeling of being fed up of hospitals, of not being quite myself, of not knowing what comes next. I should have sat with the uncomfortable feelings and accepted this chapter isn't what I wanted for myself, but it is what it is.
It's almost like when people set a '1 in- 1 out' rule for their bag collections. It serves a purpose of containing the total collection so it doesn't grow exponentially, but... you're still consuming. You're not content, you're not sitting with what you already own, you're still in the cycle, just under a different format.
Does that make sense?
Sometimes we get stuck in a pattern that we think is serving us when it isn't. What serves us better is just sitting with the reality that the present circumstances aren't ideal. You're not as fit as you were, you're not as healthy as you were, and that's okay! You will get there. I promise you will. Your body has endured a lot and it's tired. It'll bounce back when it's ready. You can feel really good in your skin right now, even if it's not the skin you're used to.
Fighting the reality of now and putting all this extra mental pressure on yourself to get back to your 'best self' isn't serving you. Retail therapy to cope with your disappointment won't soothe you. It won't make any of it happen any faster, it'll just make you feel depressed on the way to your end goal. You're walking the same road to your goal post and you will reach that finish line- there is no doubt. The choice you have to make is if you're going to beat yourself up the whole way there or if you're going to thank your body for the journey it's taking. Does any of that make sense?
I'm just trying to tell you to be gentle with yourself because, my dear pocket friend, you've been through a lot! You're allowed to take time to be your best again. And everything you are right now is perfect anyway! You may not feel like your best self, but you are still perfect in this state. Nobody sees the imperfection you do. Take a deep breath and know that you will reach all your goals because you're already on the way there. Enjoy the journey and stop looking for distractions from it. There is a lot of peace to be found if you're not busy distracting yourself from it.
I'm not sure if any of this is clear or if you can tell that I'm saying all this gently and with kindness (impossible to convey tone in writing!) but I assure you that I am. I have been exactly where you are, and am, in fact, in this battle with myself right now. I tell myself everything I have told you and it helps me get grounded and focused on the right things again.
Be proud of yourself because you've taken these hard knocks with grace. You've got this. Focus on how strong you body is to have survived all this, rather on how much it has changed.
I love your overall aim to buy only true loves! It's what we should all aspire to, so thank you for always reminding us of that!
Edit: I wish there was someone else saying all this instead of me. I feel like someone smarter would say it all better! I'm sending you virtual hugs! The hardest parts are already over and you handled all that so well. Hopefully life just keeps getting better and you soon feel 100% again!
Our heater broke. We've had a few freezing days waiting for a repairman. California is outlawing our type of heater so if we repair it and it breaks again, we might not be able to get parts. If we wait until gas heaters are outlawed, it will cost way more than it will cost to replace our gas heater now and they would have to rip up walls. So we'll be spending $8000 on a new heater and freezing in the meantime until it can be installed. We do have a fireplace but we never use it and don't have any firewood. We've been using the stove and small space heaters. The last few days have been the coldest mornings we've had all year, in the mid 30s. Not that cold for the rest of the country, but cold for California.
Oh my gosh. I don’t care where you live, 30 degrees is cold. It’s below freezing.
Please be careful with using the space heaters and stove for heat, that can be dangerous too (please don’t think I’m lecturing you though - you know this - I’m just worried) but we’ve been using one here - so I get it.
Do you have an ETA on the new furnace?
Ugh! I hate this happened now. You have enough going on without this popping up. I hope your repair company gets this done for you smoothly.