What do you say to a friend passing off a fake as a real birkin???

[bbbochap]

Does it really matter if someone has a fake? (as long as the circumstance aren't that they bought it at an authentic bag price and do not know) does it matter if they pass it off as real? If we were all so pure and unconcerned with such material matters we wouldnt be buying $$$$ bags etc. I am grateful for what I have but I do not look down on those who have fake/knock-offs..........there is a huge market for fakes for 2 reasons: crime (intent to defraud) and 2) because people want designer things who cannot afford the real thing. Additionally-Banana Republic knocks off Chanel..........and the list goes on. As I said before, not everyone can afford these things and they do want them and not just because they want to keep up with the Jones. And--I know plenty of people on and off this forum who shop to impress...........I dont really care. I dont want to "put someone in their place" who has a fake--to want to do that is mean-spirited IMO.

Very well-put & thought out. I agree wholeheartedly. To each his own.

I would totally tolerate a good friend tt has a fake bag & still love her lots, than to have a friend with a fake heart.

They are ultimately just bags (be it fake or auth) - to get upset about someone else's bag, that is uncalled for.

 

[cftf]

Very well-put & thought out. I agree wholeheartedly. To each his own.

I would totally tolerate a good friend tt has a fake bag & still love her lots, than to have a friend with a fake heart.

They are ultimately just bags (be it fake or auth) - to get upset about someone else's bag, that is uncalled for.

It's not having the bag that bothers me....it is the whole web of elaborate lies about it.

 

[birkingal]

[/B]

It's not having the bag that bothers me....it is the whole web of elaborate lies about it.

I wouldn't say anything purely because it won't do anyone any good. Personally, it'll make me more conscious about my friendship with someone who lies. Who knows what else she'll lie about?

 

[candace117]

^^^ I agree, that was pretty much my problem except it took me a lot longer to say it! LOL!!!

Lying is never okay, especially when it is about something supposedly so meaningless as a handbag, as some of you have alluded to.
Even if you don't have the opinion about supporting the purchase of fakes, one should still be conscious about having friends that lie about things like that.

Living with integrity and honesty is second to none, and that is why, although I do not like the support of fake bags, I don't mind when my friends have them because they say to everyone that asks that it is fake and they know it.

One can have a designer bag or a fake, but if they can't live with honesty than what is the point?

 

[rainrowan]

the issue for me is more the lying than the fake

Yes, this was my initial reaction as well. I remember a fantastically embellished lie I told as a gradeschooler to fit in and was called out by a classmate for it; I still remember having felt enormous shame at the time, feeling pathetically underprivileged in more ways than one to resort to lying. Never did it again. For an adult to do that, it points to some deeper issues, perhaps stemming from their childhood that has not been resolved.

The best the OP can do is ignore the lie, don't feed into it. Say or do things for their friend to show them they are accepted for who they are, not what they have.

a few months ago my boss and i were walking and someone woman started chatting with him (i don't know why) and mentioned how she bought her daughter this knockoff for 60 dollars and she better like it for that money. so my first reaction when she walked away was "UGH! She bought a fake!" and his was "but she spent her hard earned 60 dollars, which obviously was no small amount for her, to buy her daughter what she wanted." and he was right. integrity. what it's all about.

What your boss said was so wise... the mother's act was out of love for her child, not for lack of it.

 

[Anabeni]

I have a friend who gave me great advice once: "I know what I know, I know what you know, but you don't know what I know." I'd say nothing. (But I'd vent to tpfers!)

 

[Hermesaholic]

i am sorry but i think many of you are being snobs.....you say its okay to have a fake as long as they admit it etc etc. well maybe the person is embarassed they have a fake..........maybe they want the real deal and cant afford it. who are we to say its only okay to have a fake if the person admits it to anyone and everyone...................and just because someone lies about a bag being fake doesnt mean they will lie about everything else. My goodness--have a little empathy! not everyone can afford a $7000 handbag. should the little scholarship kids at my childs fancy private school make sure and tell everyone that they are on a scholarship and stop pretending they have alot of money like everyone else there?

 

[candace117]

Well, ye makes a good point, but I don't think it is snobbery. I said in my original answer that I don't live outside my means. I want Hermes, Chanel, etc more than a lot of other stuff I could have but I cannot afford it, even if I save for several months. I can afford Coach, so I purchase that when I am looking for something new. I don't pretend to live outside of my means, and if you cannot afford a 7,000 handbag then don't get a fake! Get something unique and lovely that you can feel proud of, not try to hide behind lies and coverups.

And, another good point ye makes about the private school. However, the kid on scholarship is going to a real school, not a fake one

 

[Hermesaholic]

Well, ye makes a good point, but I don't think it is snobbery. I said in my original answer that I don't live outside my means. I want Hermes, Chanel, etc more than a lot of other stuff I could have but I cannot afford it, even if I save for several months. I can afford Coach, so I purchase that when I am looking for something new. I don't pretend to live outside of my means, and if you cannot afford a 7,000 handbag then don't get a fake! Get something unique and lovely that you can feel proud of, not try to hide behind lies and coverups.

And, another good point ye makes about the private school. However, the kid on scholarship is going to a real school, not a fake one

well the person buying the fake is attempting to live within her means and have what she wants. no crime. and yes the kid on scholarship os going to a real school but on false pretenses ...unless they fess up that they arent paying to go there...........

according to your argument anyone who wears a banana republic coat that is a Chanel knock-off and doesnt come right out and announce that its a copy is a liar.

 

[candace117]

Tis true, but most people do not know when they are wearing knockoffs or not - and why would they care who actually designed the coat they have on? That is different than knowingly buying a fake and - HERE is the important part and the thing that makes most people mad - making up a story about how they acquired a real one.

There is actually an interesting story on the first part of what I said - fashion industry being in turmoil because Forever 21 can rip off a designer's runway fashion overnight! I think that's how ABS Schwartz makes a lot of money as well. It's a terrible thing when they make EXACT copies and try to shrug it off as original. But realizing talent, improving on it if you can, and making your own innovations based off of something is not wrong. Artists need to be inspired by something, unfortunately people that make cheap fakes are not being creative. There's a difference. Unfortunately with the way capitalism works, it is so hard to avoid buying clothes that weren't designed by the company that produced them. I may be wearing 'brand name' clothing but where did it really originate from??? Another brand, probably. It's a tough world. But honestly, I think what people are upset about is something as iconic as a Birkin - having a fake is nowhere near the same thing. I'd never want a fake, and I can't afford a real one, so I will just not have one. How could it possibly feel as good??? For people like me that won't be able to send their kids to a fancy private school, or buy a Birkin in the near future, using my hard earned money on something real is much more satisfying than a quick fix. But maybe I am the only one that thinks like that.

Unfortunately school scholarships are not the same thing as buying fake handbags at all. Scholarships are generally given on financial need or merit, sometimes both, and allow one to have the REAL experience. Something comparable would be someone demonstrating financial need but moral aptitude and a Hermes fund giving them a Birkin. Now wouldn't that be awesome

 

[H&H]

What are lies? sometimes you just don't want another person to know... I'm 37 and tickling with let's say botox or any other treatment... but if i do I'm NOT going to tell my husband.... probably even when he asks me flat out (which I don't expect)....

 

[amuse bouche]

well the person buying the fake is attempting to live within her means and have what she wants. no crime. and yes the kid on scholarship os going to a real school but on false pretenses ...unless they fess up that they arent paying to go there...........

according to your argument anyone who wears a banana republic coat that is a Chanel knock-off and doesnt come right out and announce that its a copy is a liar.

I respectfully beg to differ. Children who attend on scholarship are not pretending to be wealthy. They are attending the school via a legitimate option provided to them.

I don't think this came out the way you intended (I hope).

 

[amuse bouche]

[/B]

It's not having the bag that bothers me....it is the whole web of elaborate lies about it.

I would still say nothing. I would, however, store the info away. If this is insecurity, no need to make her feel worse. If this is part of a pattern of deception, then, I would still say nothing, but re-think how much time and energy I would devote to this person.

 

[Hermesaholic]

I respectfully beg to differ. Children who attend on scholarship are not pretending to be wealthy. They are attending the school via a legitimate option provided to them.

I don't think this came out the way you intended (I hope).

yes--i was being somewhat sarcastic..........I apologize for the word choice. i was trying to make the point that there are many circumstances under which people chose to disclose things and others where they do not. for example: if a person buys a real Hermes bag but is living month to month renting an apartment and has no savings ect etc is he/she to be admired because the bag is real verses someone who buys a fake and doesnt want to disclose that its fake for whatever reason?

 

[jag]

This is so easy. I wouldn't say a thing- after all, who am I to judge. I love my friends no matter what!