What do you say to a friend passing off a fake as a real birkin???

Status
Not open for further replies.
I would still say nothing. I would, however, store the info away. If this is insecurity, no need to make her feel worse. If this is part of a pattern of deception, then, I would still say nothing, but re-think how much time and energy I would devote to this person.


YES I agree..........a lie about a fake bag in and of itself doesnt make the person a bad person and habitual liar.........depends on the whole picture..............
 
yes--i was being somewhat sarcastic..........I apologize for the word choice. i was trying to make the point that there are many circumstances under which people chose to disclose things and others where they do not. for example: if a person buys a real Hermes bag but is living month to month renting an apartment and has no savings ect etc is he/she to be admired because the bag is real verses someone who buys a fake and doesnt want to disclose that its fake for whatever reason?

That's what I thought!:flowers:

I get your point; it can go beyond a bag. No one knows anyone's true cirumstances or motives. At my age, I find I have to conserve my energy-- no need to disdain someone for carrying a fake bag or having a fake life. I choose to just be grateful for the life I have.
 
I would maybe mention it to her in private subtly, like "where did you find such a good knock-off?", but never in front of anybody else. I had a friend with a fake and I said something. It was a pretty bad one, so I thought she knew. Turns out her brothers gave it to her for x-mas and she had no clue. She asked me to show her how I could tell, and was grateful afterwards.
 
you can never like a friend 100%... there will always be something about that person that bugs you and this just might be one of those things you'll have to deal with... ya know?


Totally agree! I'd keep silent. I have a very good friend who carries her fake H evelyn and wallet that she bought from an open market in Hong Kong. She tells me that unlike me, she cannot imagine buying the REAL thing... My friend can definitely afford it, just doesn't want to spend money on purses... I do know that not everyone is as purse/bag-obsessed as me! :nuts:
 
I have a friend who gave me great advice once: "I know what I know, I know what you know, but you don't know what I know." :smile: I'd say nothing. (But I'd vent to tpfers!)

LOVE THIS, ANABENI!

I would still say nothing. I would, however, store the info away. If this is insecurity, no need to make her feel worse. If this is part of a pattern of deception, then, I would still say nothing, but re-think how much time and energy I would devote to this person.

:yes:

That's what I thought!:flowers:

I get your point; it can go beyond a bag. No one knows anyone's true cirumstances or motives. At my age, I find I have to conserve my energy-- no need to disdain someone for carrying a fake bag or having a fake life. I choose to just be grateful for the life I have.

:yes::yes::yes:

it's about having self-esteem, build your own self-worth, work for your wares!
and it's about hierachy of needs, we have the basics, then improvements -- things that are not neccessities that may improve our life (like facial tissue).
next some nice things (aesthetically pleasing with or without improvement)
and, we talk about karma often, we must then find more meaning to life!!!

did i just go off topic?! :lol:
 
I am so impressed with the majority of responses...love it.

I def. agree, live and let live. Every year as I get older, I found the more 'mellow' I am. A purse, real or fake, Hermes or Vuitton it is a THING, it is not what makes a person a person. Is she kind? Is she there when you need her? This is who she is. Who really cares what she carries on her arm or why?

JMHO
 
Live and let live, yes, but true happiness comes from being honest with yourself and the world around you, whether the truth is pleasant or not. Life is too short to do anything otherwise.

I suppose the best advice I ever got was from one of my Drill Sergeants: "Stay in your own lane, Private."

It's always good advice.
Though I think true friends can still hold one another accountable, so you shouldn't be afraid to ask her about it if you are burning to know. In the end it is up to you because only you know how you and your friend interact on a regular basis. I value honesty and communication over anything else with my friends, and that is just how we operate, even if it is slightly mortifying. But only you are in control of your actions, so you should know the consequences that could come from certain actions you choose. That goes for you, me, and anybody else on here as well as your friend.
Wearing a fake bag doesn't make her a bad person, just like carrying a real one doesn't make someone a good person. If she truly feels great about herself for having it and telling people an elaborate story of how she got it, maybe that is where we are totally different people. IF that is where she finds her value, then at least she knows how to feel good about herself - which is something a lot of people have problems with even if they buy the real thing.
People have problems when they begin to define themselves by their possessions instead of using them to enhance their daily lives.

Maybe just take the time to make her realize that she is not defined by having an 'it' bag, and half the people in America don't even know what having an 'it' bag means. Find a creative way to show her something good about herself and maybe she will end up with something real in the future that reflects the quality of her approach to life.
 
Totally agree! I'd keep silent. I have a very good friend who carries her fake H evelyn and wallet that she bought from an open market in Hong Kong. She tells me that unlike me, she cannot imagine buying the REAL thing... My friend can definitely afford it, just doesn't want to spend money on purses... I do know that not everyone is as purse/bag-obsessed as me! :nuts:

This is the worst to me. It sounds like she wants to put forth that she spends money on these goods, but doesn't really. I would respect her choices if she had a bag and wallet that do not purport to be a designer bag and wallet. Plus the whole perpetuating the fake market stuff...
 
^^I am friends with my friend for a million other things. I may not agree with her purchasing decision but who am I to judge? To me, it's just a purse and not worth the possibility of ruining a friendship. Besides, my friend never made any bones about the bags authenticity.

In my opinion, friendship goes both ways, if I judge her, then does that give her the "right" to ask me why I spend so much money on a purse? I don't ever want to be put in a position to defend my obscene bag purchases. I get enough of that from DH!!! ;)

Example: DH: Why do you need FOUR black birkin bags???!?!?!
AAB: What are you talking about??!?! They're NOT the same! Did you even notice the different hardware and leather??? :graucho:
 
^^I am friends with my friend for a million other things. I may not agree with her purchasing decision but who am I to judge? To me, it's just a purse and not worth the possibility of ruining a friendship. Besides, my friend never made any bones about the bags authenticity.

In my opinion, friendship goes both ways, if I judge her, then does that give her the "right" to ask me why I spend so much money on a purse? I don't ever want to be put in a position to defend my obscene bag purchases. I get enough of that from DH!!! ;)

Example: DH: Why do you need FOUR black birkin bags???!?!?!
AAB: What are you talking about??!?! They're NOT the same! Did you even notice the different hardware and leather??? :graucho:

Agree. I would not saying anything either. Just analyzing the concept in isolation, not in the context of your friendship.:smile:
 
I wouldn't say a word directly to her - ever - but I guess it would irk me enough to consider the following: If she's smug and proud of her fake, I'd maybe leave a good article about the horrors of fake bag production lying around somewhere where she could see it. But if she's just insecure and wanting of the bag innocently - just do nothing.
 
WOW! All these responses have had me reflecting on the term FRIENDSHIP....and I do agree that as long as a person is loyal, kind and respectful, then that is what is most important. Her issues run deeper than a handbag (obviously). Though it is very uncomfortable to listen to the made up stories, she brings harm to only herself this way, I think. It's odd...she is secure in other ways (body image, marraige, etc.) it's just the material things. That being said, we do live in an area where $$ is not exactly scarce, so maybe it's that? Anyway....all this input is amazing. THANKS TO ALL!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.