Husband got a bonus, wants to buy me a bag, which to choose?

Aarponen

Aarponen

Proud & Preowned
O.G.
Apr 8, 2008
1,657
29
#1
Hi ladies,

I have fairly positive problem here. My husband had decided to give me a bag I would never buy myself as a bonus from all the hard work I have done for the family, to support him and for my business. It is a part of his bonus, and as usual he is not big on spending on himself. He asked whether I had an UHG in my mind, but for the moment I do not have anything on my mind. Only bag I have been seriously wanting for long time is Etoupe Togo with GHW, but paying more than retail for it (I have seen some for about 15K), it feels absolutely stupid, and I am not one of those gals going to Hermes store to buy a new one. The budget limit is 20k USD.

The ones I had in my mind is a vintage Sellier Kelly croc, 32cm (hard to find) and definitely not black. Grey ostrich kelly, the same size and style, or something else. Kelly long wallet in croc to use it a clutch? But, I am not in a mood for bag shopping at the moment.

I am actually longing for one vintage diamond ring, and knowing myself, the bags get always traded into something else in the long run. Should I try to convince him into that ring instead of a bag or try look for some bag to invest in? I am so torn.

Is there any logic going for that Etoupe, or should I start hunting for the small vintage croc, or go for birdie? I just cannot think of any of this, neither lose this opportunity to get something special for myself. Argh.... I had just decided not to buy any bags, as I have sold three Birkins away, and I have been very content with my two birkins and a tricolour Kelly Sellier I have. I am into vintage bags, and always pre-owned and I am not really into spending more than 10k on a bag. My husband wants something I would treasure for life. Wow, with my personality that feels quite a pressure. What to do?
 
#3
Usually when someone posts a question like this to the H forum, I feel like subconsciously they are selecting the audience most likely to say "Go for the bag" because that's what they really want. In this case, however, I think it may be the opposite!

If you feel the ring is something that you would get more enjoyment from, and is the option which you would cherish for the longest, I think it's best that you tell your hubby that. This gift sounds like it really comes from his heart, so ideally it should be something that makes your heart sing.

You could always save the money for a little while and investigate the possibility of getting your ideal bag directly from H in the near future... But from your post, it sounds like that isn't likely. Is that avenue definitely out for you? If the bag is really what you want, it might be something to consider. I absolutely understand the feeling of not wanting to pay more than retail, but it might be possible for you to obtain the bag from H if you (and your husband) are prepared to wait a little while!

Ultimately, though, you should go with what your heart desires. If it's the ring that you really long for, I'm sure it shouldn't be too difficult to convince your husband that's the thing which will get the most use, and, at the end of the day, best represent his affection for you: something which really lifts your heart, and which will never be traded in.

Good luck with your decision! :heart:
 
#4
My feeling is you would be happier with a ring in this case. It's lovely to have a husband appreciate you and share his bonus and a piece of jewellery as a gift has such sentimental value. This is exactly what my DH does also. That said I got a vintage Sellier Porosus Kelly ( not black!) on my own for under 20k at Christmas. I use it like any bag and casually. Couldn't be happier.
Good luck with your very happy problem!
 
Last edited:
#5
Aarponen said:
Hi ladies,

I have fairly positive problem here. My husband had decided to give me a bag I would never buy myself as a bonus from all the hard work I have done for the family, to support him and for my business. It is a part of his bonus, and as usual he is not big on spending on himself. He asked whether I had an UHG in my mind, but for the moment I do not have anything on my mind. Only bag I have been seriously wanting for long time is Etoupe Togo with GHW, but paying more than retail for it (I have seen some for about 15K), it feels absolutely stupid, and I am not one of those gals going to Hermes store to buy a new one. The budget limit is 20k USD.

The ones I had in my mind is a vintage Sellier Kelly croc, 32cm (hard to find) and definitely not black. Grey ostrich kelly, the same size and style, or something else. Kelly long wallet in croc to use it a clutch? But, I am not in a mood for bag shopping at the moment.

I am actually longing for one vintage diamond ring, and knowing myself, the bags get always traded into something else in the long run. Should I try to convince him into that ring instead of a bag or try look for some bag to invest in? I am so torn.

Is there any logic going for that Etoupe, or should I start hunting for the small vintage croc, or go for birdie? I just cannot think of any of this, neither lose this opportunity to get something special for myself. Argh.... I had just decided not to buy any bags, as I have sold three Birkins away, and I have been very content with my two birkins and a tricolour Kelly Sellier I have. I am into vintage bags, and always pre-owned and I am not really into spending more than 10k on a bag. My husband wants something I would treasure for life. Wow, with my personality that feels quite a pressure. What to do?
Click to expand...


Decisions, decisions..

If you don't feel passionately about a bag, and/or feel like whatever bag you'll get it would eventually be traded away, then maybe a bag isn't the way to go in this particular situation, seeing as it's a token of love and appreciation from your DH.
I'd consider the vintage diamond ring option (tough call given the choices you present, a gris ostrich sellier Kelly is my dream bag) but it might be more appropriate given your current thoughts and feelings on bags.

I collect Victorian and Georgian diamond jewelry myself and there are some incredible, one-of-a-kind diamond pieces out there in your budget and it would be fitting as a life-long treasured piece that your husband is hoping to gift to you.

Just my thoughts... ;)
 
#6
I would go to Single Stone in Los Angeles, or their website, and select the vintage diamond of your dreams. In my opinion they have an amazing selection and VERY good prices. Sounds like you want that daily sparkle on your hand and NOTHING wrong with that!!
 
#7
I would go for the diamond - it sounds like that is what you really want. The etoupe can be yours eventually... just keep saving for it (after the diamond!)
 
#8
BritAbroad said:
Decisions, decisions..

If you don't feel passionately about a bag, and/or feel like whatever bag you'll get it would eventually be traded away, then maybe a bag isn't the way to go in this particular situation, seeing as it's a token of love and appreciation from your DH.
I'd consider the vintage diamond ring option (tough call given the choices you present, a gris ostrich sellier Kelly is my dream bag) but it might be more appropriate given your current thoughts and feelings on bags.

I collect Victorian and Georgian diamond jewelry myself and there are some incredible, one-of-a-kind diamond pieces out there in your budget and it would be fitting as a life-long treasured piece that your husband is hoping to gift to you.

Just my thoughts... ;)
Click to expand...

I certainly feel you got exactly to the point. At the moment a bag does not represent me eternity, so to speak, but piece of jewellery would. I wonder how ungrateful he thinks I am if I try to ask him to go for the ring instead, as I have set my eyes on one, have been wanting it for months now.... Gray ostrich Kelly would be lovely though, but laters maybe....
 
#10
QuelleFromage said:
I would go to Single Stone in Los Angeles, or their website, and select the vintage diamond of your dreams. In my opinion they have an amazing selection and VERY good prices. Sounds like you want that daily sparkle on your hand and NOTHING wrong with that!!
Click to expand...

Great tip thanks! I have set my eyes already on one, but definitely go and have a look their website. I guess there is no website like that for vintage croc Kellys, haha. Thank you for the support!
 
#11
It is a positive decision to make! And to me quite easy! I also love vintage bags and oh, dream of dreams vintage diamonds :love: Your husband is very kind and generous and I am sure you can explain to him your thoughts that your heart desires the diamond under the circumstance of being offered an eternal gift to treasure always as a reminder of this part of your life. The bags - beautiful and useful as they are - come and go - you would not feel it right to part with one in future that was given to you by your husband this way. Good luck with everything!
 
#12
Aarponen said:
I certainly feel you got exactly to the point. At the moment a bag does not represent me eternity, so to speak, but piece of jewellery would. I wonder how ungrateful he thinks I am if I try to ask him to go for the ring instead, as I have set my eyes on one, have been wanting it for months now.... Gray ostrich Kelly would be lovely though, but laters maybe....
Click to expand...

Why ? I don't think you are ungrateful at all, just talk to your husband.

Couldn't you "split" : a part for the ring and another one for a bag (an Evelyne, for example) ?

For me, when you speak about eternity, a bag is not what I would choose.
 
#13
I went through something similar. Its easy to get caught up in the price increases and think you need to get bags. I even convinced myself that bags have better resale value than jewelry, which Im not sure will be, in the future. Lifestyles change buy whatever you will get better cost per wear. That is how I made my decision. If it is meant to be, the etoupe will come. just not worth it to pay above retail and feel guilty every time you wear it.
 
#14
What a lovely DH, I like that he has got a bonus for working hard so he awards you one for doing similar.

I'm going with the flow. If you want a ring, go for the old diamond ring.
 
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