Having someone with no children tell me that I have it easy as a SAHM because I don't have a "real job"? Yes, I did take offense to that. Furthermore, I have never belittled what working moms do. I commend them.
& Caxe doesn't have a stepchild~
Stay-at-home Mother's Work Is Worth $138,095 A Year
- Thread starter Prada's Meadow
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Having someone with no children tell me that I have it easy as a SAHM because I don't have a "real job"? Yes, I did take offense to that. Furthermore, I have never belittled what working moms do. I commend them.
& Caxe doesn't have a stepchild~
And it is a luxury and a great blessing! Again, I will say that people should do what is best for them and their families and it's no ones business to make comments about which is 'harder' IMO.
It all depends on the individual..for instance, myself--I LOVE TO WORK..I can't function without working. I'm fortunate that I don't have to work out of necessity but I work for self-fulfillment and I love my career. I worked with both my kids and continue to work. Plus I do all of the other things a mother and wife does as well. I can function great in this manner. If I were just home all day with my kids I don't think I'd be happy or could function.
However, there are women who are just as happy and fulfilled ONLY being at home with their kids and they are busy and involved even outside of the home..volunteering, involved with school, involved in the community. The SAHM I know and where I live have huge homes to take care of as well. They don't live in tiny homes and those homes require a lot of responsibility.
SAHM's should not be lumped into one group as some were trying to do.
I also still believe that no one can comment on something unless they've been there and done it themselves. Caxe is not married so she does not have a stepchild. She is just helping to care for a boyfriends child. Not the same at all and not fair to those who are REAL stepparents and are helping to raise their stepchildren and are committed to doing so for the long haul. JMO
It all depends on the individual..for instance, myself--I LOVE TO WORK..I can't function without working. I'm fortunate that I don't have to work out of necessity but I work for self-fulfillment and I love my career. I worked with both my kids and continue to work. Plus I do all of the other things a mother and wife does as well. I can function great in this manner. If I were just home all day with my kids I don't think I'd be happy or could function.
However, there are women who are just as happy and fulfilled ONLY being at home with their kids and they are busy and involved even outside of the home..volunteering, involved with school, involved in the community. The SAHM I know and where I live have huge homes to take care of as well. They don't live in tiny homes and those homes require a lot of responsibility.
SAHM's should not be lumped into one group as some were trying to do.
I also still believe that no one can comment on something unless they've been there and done it themselves. Caxe is not married so she does not have a stepchild. She is just helping to care for a boyfriends child. Not the same at all and not fair to those who are REAL stepparents and are helping to raise their stepchildren and are committed to doing so for the long haul. JMO
Seriously, I love being a SAHM. It's seeing my daughter grow and not miss a second of it is what's important to me.Great post & I so agree. There is no right or wrong here~ it's a personal decision & all moms are different. For me, being a SAHM mom is the best & I do feel fortunate that I had the choice to do so!
So being married makes you a REAL step parent? That's BS. Just cause Caxe isn't married to her man doesn't mean she isn't in it for the long haul, nor that she can't perform the same duties that a REAL step parent could. I'm sure she'll take offense to "just helping" with her bf's child, and I'm sure she deals with the same issues you or I deal with, and she can easily address them with the same emotion we do.
I certainly hope I didn't come off as attacking anyone's opinion. Posting doesn't show emotions so it can be taken anyway I guess. I think the SAHM's were getting defensive because...well, if you are an solicitor and I say boy you all make alot of money and just chase ambulances, or a janitor and I say that's all you do? How would you take that? You would probably get defensive. (no offense to solicitors or janitors they were off the top of my head).
Just wanted to add, that my DH works out of state and comes home twice a month, so my days are way longer than 13 hours! I barely get time to do anything for me. But, it is so worth it to me to be able to raise my own kids. I was both a working mom (outside of the home) and a SAHM...both are hard.
I don't want to repeat what was said before by Newgrlonthebloc and acegirl because I agree with what they said and they said it so well. What I will add is that being a sahm or working parent is interchangeable and for many women they've been both. For some people they choose to be a sahm or a working parent, for others there is no real choice but it's what makes the most economic sense. Furthermore, it's no ones business what choices people make and no one should critique those choices. The majority of women I know are working mothers, I as a sahm am in the minority, and I don't feel superior or inferior to any working mother. I don't bring in any money to pay the bills or put food on the table but my contribution is priceless.
I have been home with my 14 month old daughter since birth & will begin looking for work this month. I appreciated the article for reminding people that SAHM do get things accomplished. Personally, I think working moms have it harder. They are expected to do everything a SAHM does in less time plus work away from the home. Times are tough parents have to work because they have a family to feed & bills to pay. Well adjusted kids come from working households & homes with a stay home parent same thing with kids who have issues.
parents need to support each other rather than judging.
parents need to support each other rather than judging.
This is whar caxe said:
'Yet the cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, picking up from school, and other things that I do assist my boyfriend in taking care of his child. So...stay at home moms do have it easier in my book, because they're doing the same things as us other women--only they don't have a real job to report to every morning.'
Caxe assists her bf and it could mean a very wide range of things, like doing nothing and sitting around whilst bf does it all or being more hands on. I won't speculate because I don't know.
However, I truly believe unless a woman lives with a small child who needs to be fed, bathed, diapered/potty trained, entertained, educated and generally constantly needs to be watched, it's just not the same as assisting.
This is YOUR opinion and you are entitled to it but the bottom line is that Caxe (and I hate to debate about someone who isn't here with another person in the first place..but)....is not a Stepparent. She is just helping her boyfriend with HIS child. She has not adopted a child---like say, Brad Pitt--when she does that then she can call that child hers. When she is married then she can call that child her stepchild ( btw She isn't the one who called the child her stepchild anyway to begin with).
If I were single and dating a man with a child--I'm not that child's stepmother. I have no rights whatsoever over that child. Period. I may help him out with the child but I have no obligation to do so. I don't have to do anything for that child. If I do so--it's voluntary. Likewise, it would be the same if I were single and had children and someone was dating me. That person has no authority over my children and isn't obligated to do anything for them. In fact, I wouldn't even allow someone I'm just dating to be close with my children in such a way. That's just me.
This is really simple. She's not a Stepparent and it's not the same as raising your own kids or being a true LEGAL (through adoption) or marriage parent or Stepparent. There are people out here..grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever...who are actually raising kids that are not theirs FULL TIME. Helping to care for your boyfriends kid is not the same..especially when that child has a living mother. Everyone dating someone with a kid is a stepparent? I guarantee you that most would say they are not. It is not the same. There should be no argument with this fact.
This is the best comment to come out of all of this and this should really end the thread.
Women should just be supportive of other women and respect one anothers choices when it comes to this issue.
New Girl...I still disagree. We're arguing over a title here. Will her emotions and obligations suddenly change as soon as the ink is dry on the marriage certificate? There are PLENTY of parents that are legally and genetically attached to their children who couldn't give 2 $hits about them. On the other hand, there are nannies who have no legal nor genetic attachment that spend much more time nurturing and raising a child as if it were his/her own. So to come in here and toss a blanket statement like "Your opinion doesn't count cause you aren't married to the dad or it's not your genetic child" is rather condescending. It's not like caring for a child is so specific that no one aside from a REAL parent would know about it. When you break it down, it's still performing tasks for someone you care about, and I'm sure we all can relate on some level. The players might be different, but the emotions and acts are the same.
^^ Not going there...lol. I'm done here. Neither of our opinions is going to change right? It's no big deal. We can just agree to disagree on this issue really.