@willeyi I didn’t take from this that she was going to wear her old engagement ring but that she would sell it to pay for the new one.
Would you buy your own engagement ring?
- Thread starter meluvs2shop
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It was post #10, last paragraph. That’s how I interpreted that she could wear her old ring.
I can see where you thought I would use my engagement ring in post #10. But NO. NEVER, would I do that. That ring is my past, not my future. I have jewelry that I don’t wear. I’m thinking of selling my jewelry and using that to get a ring that I like.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I think it would be nice to celebrate your marriage and wear a ring that represents it and makes you happy, but on the other I think deep down it could make your future husband feel bad that he can't buy you the ring you want. If it were me, I'd probably just have him pick out a nice band, then the two of you mutually save for a ring and buy it together as an anniversary gift or something.
As far as your old jewelry, I'd sell regardless of what you decide to do with the ring. I have several nice pieces that my mom handed down to me and I only wear one of them. There's nothing else that is my style and I feel too guilty about selling any of it. I'd rather one of us get some use out of it somehow.
As far as your old jewelry, I'd sell regardless of what you decide to do with the ring. I have several nice pieces that my mom handed down to me and I only wear one of them. There's nothing else that is my style and I feel too guilty about selling any of it. I'd rather one of us get some use out of it somehow.
I understand where you are coming from and think it’s totally ok to buy your own engagement ring.
I don’t think it’s disrespectful again as long as your husband doesn’t feel disrespected, uncomfortable or weird about it. If you talked about it and he’s ok, then I see no reason why it wouldn’t be ok.
I don’t think it’s disrespectful again as long as your husband doesn’t feel disrespected, uncomfortable or weird about it. If you talked about it and he’s ok, then I see no reason why it wouldn’t be ok.
Congratulations! May your marriage be long and happy.
When it comes to these sort of occasions, do what is best for you. It is up to the both of you to figure out what you're both comfortable with and to talk it through. There is no problems with any approach as long as you are both happy and satisfied with the journey and the outcome.
In regards to selling the jewellery from your previous marriage - I think this might be a good idea. There is no point holding on to it if you don't wear it and you don't want to. In terms of handing it down, I think there are other things your daughter might appreciate more, such as her mum being happy
. She might grow up and prefer to keep your wedding band or something really simple like your key chain, or the cake tin you guys always made birthday cakes in. Its impossible to predict the future and choose what she might want.
Wishing you the best of luck. I hope it all works out for the best
When it comes to these sort of occasions, do what is best for you. It is up to the both of you to figure out what you're both comfortable with and to talk it through. There is no problems with any approach as long as you are both happy and satisfied with the journey and the outcome.
In regards to selling the jewellery from your previous marriage - I think this might be a good idea. There is no point holding on to it if you don't wear it and you don't want to. In terms of handing it down, I think there are other things your daughter might appreciate more, such as her mum being happy
. She might grow up and prefer to keep your wedding band or something really simple like your key chain, or the cake tin you guys always made birthday cakes in. Its impossible to predict the future and choose what she might want. Wishing you the best of luck
. I hope it all works out for the best
Nicely said. Mind you my daughter is still young, but the other day she said to me when this topic came up, I don’t want any of your jewelry. I don’t like jewelry. She’s young and female so of course she will change her mind a couple of times. I think our happiness is a far greater value than any ring.Congratulations! May your marriage be long and happy.
When it comes to these sort of occasions, do what is best for you. It is up to the both of you to figure out what you're both comfortable with and to talk it through. There is no problems with any approach as long as you are both happy and satisfied with the journey and the outcome.
In regards to selling the jewellery from your previous marriage - I think this might be a good idea. There is no point holding on to it if you don't wear it and you don't want to. In terms of handing it down, I think there are other things your daughter might appreciate more, such as her mum being happy
Wishing you the best of luck
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Thank you everyone for your honesty and your opinion on the matter. I rarely post something so personal, but I truly wanted to gauge others perspective as I was on the fence with everything.
I will sell my jewelry and maybe we will find something within his budget or maybe I will put some of the money from my sales into the ring. Who knows. We haven’t even looked at rings yet because there’s no rush and I’m so enjoying this moment of spending my life with my BFF and our families.
I will sell my jewelry and maybe we will find something within his budget or maybe I will put some of the money from my sales into the ring. Who knows. We haven’t even looked at rings yet because there’s no rush and I’m so enjoying this moment of spending my life with my BFF and our families.
M
MagpieInTraining
Honestly, I feel like there’s nothing wrong with buying your ring (if your to be fiancé is okay with it ofc). The way I see it is, if he buys you something that you don’t truly love, then you’ll covet the one you want, and if you express to him the one you want he will be stretched financially, neither of which are good. If I was in this position, I would sell the pieces I don’t want or wear and ask my fiancé if we can split the cost of the ring. To be honest, if we are both equal partners contributing equally to the marriage, why can’t we equally contribute to the ring? I don’t really think of a ring as something sentimental, it’s just a ‘thing’ to me - the marriage is much more than a ring. I would however like him to plan a proposal, that would mean a lot more to me (sentimentally) than a ring. Personally, I would be totally fine being proposed to without a ring, and just buy myself something pretty to wear and enjoy later
Congratulations on your engagementHi All,
I’ve been dating a wonderful
guy for a few years now. We were both married before and not looking to remarry AT ALL. We both have children from our previous marriages and our divorces killed us both financially. Marriage was not on the table for us.
Now fast forward to today. We now feel ready and want to get married. Although things are improving for us both financially he is very practical and pragmatic. He doesn’t want to get “engaged” but just go and get married.
Engagement rings are expensive and I know he can’t afford what I would really like. However, I do love the idea of getting engaged and wearing a ring proudly.
I do have jewelry from my first marriage and I don’t know if I should sell it and see what we can get for it or just forgo the engagement part and just get married like he says. I’m a traditionalist when it comes to certain things, but I also don’t want him financing a ring or tapping into his savings that he’s been working on. I also know a ring doesn’t make a marriage work but they sure are pretty to look at.
What are your thoughts? Would you feel comfortable financing your own ring with your own jewelry or even some of your own money? Or just allow him to get you what he feels comfortable paying even tho it may not be what you really want. I know that may sound shallow, but I need to be honest.
Thoughts?
I don't see anything wrong with it as long as your fiance is okay with it.. The jewelry in the safe is just meaningless.. I would say sell it, and with this money combined with what your fiance is comfortable spending, you can buy a piece that both of you love and you are happy wearing for all your life All the best and I am sure whatever decision you make will be the best!+1Honestly, I feel like there’s nothing wrong with buying your ring (if your to be fiancé is okay with it ofc). The way I see it is, if he buys you something that you don’t truly love, then you’ll covet the one you want, and if you express to him the one you want he will be stretched financially, neither of which are good. If I was in this position, I would sell the pieces I don’t want or wear and ask my fiancé if we can split the cost of the ring. To be honest, if we are both equal partners contributing equally to the marriage, why can’t we equally contribute to the ring? I don’t really think of a ring as something sentimental, it’s just a ‘thing’ to me - the marriage is much more than a ring. I would however like him to plan a proposal, that would mean a lot more to me (sentimentally) than a ring. Personally, I would be totally fine being proposed to without a ring, and just buy myself something pretty to wear and enjoy later
Many congratulations!
As you have asked honest opinions... mine is that you should go ahead an sell stuff that has no meaning to you, but... selling your old engagement ring to a man you divorced in order to buy yourself an engagement ring because the man you are going to marry can’t afford what you’d like is... well, I find it rather not nice. Plus I don’t see how does it make any sense at all?
I mean you know you have bought the ring with the money your ex husband spent in your engagement. He knows it too. So towards whom is this a sign? What would you be trying to express with that ring?
When my now husband unexpectedly proposed he was still a student and all he could afford was a Tiffany’s silver band with a mini diamond. He has bought me other, more valuable jewelry since, but I never take that band off. The whole point of symbols is that they hold meaning. What you are proposing would be rather meaningless to me. But if it is to you, that’s what matters.
As you have asked honest opinions... mine is that you should go ahead an sell stuff that has no meaning to you, but... selling your old engagement ring to a man you divorced in order to buy yourself an engagement ring because the man you are going to marry can’t afford what you’d like is... well, I find it rather not nice. Plus I don’t see how does it make any sense at all?
I mean you know you have bought the ring with the money your ex husband spent in your engagement. He knows it too. So towards whom is this a sign? What would you be trying to express with that ring?
When my now husband unexpectedly proposed he was still a student and all he could afford was a Tiffany’s silver band with a mini diamond. He has bought me other, more valuable jewelry since, but I never take that band off. The whole point of symbols is that they hold meaning. What you are proposing would be rather meaningless to me. But if it is to you, that’s what matters.
Congratulations!
That is a tough one for me. I think I would like him to buy the ring because when I looked at it, it would make me think of him picking it out specifically for me. However, I completely understand wanting a ring you want as you do have to look at it everyday! LOL.
Best of luck deciding!
That is a tough one for me. I think I would like him to buy the ring because when I looked at it, it would make me think of him picking it out specifically for me. However, I completely understand wanting a ring you want as you do have to look at it everyday! LOL.
Best of luck deciding!
