I had let my hubby know what I wanted in general, but he picked out the ring by himself. I wanted to go traditional and be surprised when he proposed. He did a great job.
Who should pick out e-rings? Girls or guys?
- Thread starter sailornep5
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i think the woman should pick the ring. it's important that she like it and that it suit her style - she'll be wearing it for the rest of her life.
as for the whole surprise element... personally i think important decisions should be made together by a couple. i'm not really into the whole girl waiting around for a guy to finally propose to her... i know it's the old-fashioned and 'traditional' thing but that doesn't necessarily make it better IMO. why should it be the guy that decides such an important step, while the girl is pretty much at his mercy waiting for the man to decide if he wants to spend the rest of his life with her?
as for the whole surprise element... personally i think important decisions should be made together by a couple. i'm not really into the whole girl waiting around for a guy to finally propose to her... i know it's the old-fashioned and 'traditional' thing but that doesn't necessarily make it better IMO. why should it be the guy that decides such an important step, while the girl is pretty much at his mercy waiting for the man to decide if he wants to spend the rest of his life with her?
I picked out my ring, there is a thread about it on here somewhere, without ever seeing it in person. It is made of diamonds with a long family history that were donated to one of the groups that I am a volunteer for.
There was never an actual "proposal," at some point along the way, we just decided that we should be married, but I told SO when the ring arrives, he should surprise me with a real proposal, we will see if that actually happens
There was never an actual "proposal," at some point along the way, we just decided that we should be married, but I told SO when the ring arrives, he should surprise me with a real proposal, we will see if that actually happens
sailornep...I have to agree with your jeweler and what you wrote in the first paragraph (I copied here)
I went to my jeweler to get my ring cleaned yesterday and he commented on how nervous my husband was when he bought my ring two years ago. He said he sat in the shop for five hours debating over every single style, and what I would like. He then said how sad he is whenever he sees a couple come in together and pick out a ring - he's old school Italian and I guess he just felt that the guy should pick out the ring and have the proposal be a surprise. I asked, "But what if the girl doesn't like the ring?" He said, "One, the guy shouldn't be asking her to marry him if he doesn't know her style, or doesn't bother to ask around with her friends and such what her style might be. Second, I tell each guy, if she doesn't want to marry you because of a ring, then don't marry her."
I was raised by old school Italians and all the old customs and I share his sentiment. A man should know what his love would like and if he doesn't it isn't too hard to have fun in finding out. There is something to the element of surprise and your love of your life choosing this "symbol of love" for you. No matter if it is a diamond, a precious stone, or an elegant band...it is what he chooses for you. That is what it is all about to me. It is the one time in his life where he really takes that first big leap for you...it is what it is all about...it is really romantic!
I went to my jeweler to get my ring cleaned yesterday and he commented on how nervous my husband was when he bought my ring two years ago. He said he sat in the shop for five hours debating over every single style, and what I would like. He then said how sad he is whenever he sees a couple come in together and pick out a ring - he's old school Italian and I guess he just felt that the guy should pick out the ring and have the proposal be a surprise. I asked, "But what if the girl doesn't like the ring?" He said, "One, the guy shouldn't be asking her to marry him if he doesn't know her style, or doesn't bother to ask around with her friends and such what her style might be. Second, I tell each guy, if she doesn't want to marry you because of a ring, then don't marry her."
I was raised by old school Italians and all the old customs and I share his sentiment. A man should know what his love would like and if he doesn't it isn't too hard to have fun in finding out. There is something to the element of surprise and your love of your life choosing this "symbol of love" for you. No matter if it is a diamond, a precious stone, or an elegant band...it is what he chooses for you. That is what it is all about to me. It is the one time in his life where he really takes that first big leap for you...it is what it is all about...it is really romantic!
My BF and I are in that discussing the future stage...I love the idea of having no idea that the proposal is coming, and having it be a huge, happy surprise.
Having said all that, he does know the cut of diamond that I prefer. (I am master of the casual mention.
). Now it's out of my hands, and I'll just wait for the right time from him!
Having said all that, he does know the cut of diamond that I prefer. (I am master of the casual mention.
). Now it's out of my hands, and I'll just wait for the right time from him!We went shopping together about a year beforehand, and when the date was closer, we went to Tiffany again and did more serious looking around and picked one out together - there is NO WAY I'd let DH buy it on his own! I guess I'm too practical, but I've seen friends who were not happy with what they got, and ended up having to tactfully replace the ring later.
IMHO, the wearer should definitely decide, but if you're laid back, then do whatever is more comfortable!
IMHO, the wearer should definitely decide, but if you're laid back, then do whatever is more comfortable!
i think a girl should, with guys input of course. she'll be the one wearing it for a very long time, so she should be happy about it. my bf disagrees with me though.
I would hate to be taken into the shop to get my ring...he should pick it out IMO. Even if its not something I would 100% love, it was something he took the time out to find that he thought I would love, and I'd love it because he loved it. I just think the guy should surprise the woman, I wouldn't want it any other way for me at least hehe
I agree!
My fiance designed my ring, picked out the stones and surprised me the proposal. However, he did ask for input and we did go to jewelry stores to browse. When I got my ring, I was so surprised and excited. It was exactly what I wanted and everyday when I look at it, I tell him how much I love him and the ring. It is perfect for me.
My fiance and I picked out my ring together and I'm glad we did. We are sort of a team who make important decisions together. It was very sweet to see him looking around and being very serious and attentive as we were schooled on diamonds. I think, ultimately, it is very personal choice-- you have to do what makes each of you happy. I didn't want to be surprised because I know it would have been stressful for him to have gone alone into a jewelry store. And, in return, I went with him to pick out his flat screen t.v. (which was his engagement present). Either way, it's a happy day.
we are ring shopping together 
I think it's for him to see the proportion of the ring on my finger and to truly know what I like...besides, diamond shopping is so fun! 
and I figure...why not...he is not just getting his future wife's opinion, but his best friend's too 
I think it's for him to see the proportion of the ring on my finger and to truly know what I like...besides, diamond shopping is so fun! and I figure...why not...he is not just getting his future wife's opinion, but his best friend's too 