Who should pick out e-rings? Girls or guys?

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sailornep5

sailornep5

O.G.
Apr 9, 2006
1,971
3
#1
I went to my jeweler to get my ring cleaned yesterday and he commented on how nervous my husband was when he bought my ring two years ago. He said he sat in the shop for five hours debating over every single style, and what I would like. He then said how sad he is whenever he sees a couple come in together and pick out a ring - he's old school Italian and I guess he just felt that the guy should pick out the ring and have the proposal be a surprise. I asked, "But what if the girl doesn't like the ring?" He said, "One, the guy shouldn't be asking her to marry him if he doesn't know her style, or doesn't bother to ask around with her friends and such what her style might be. Second, I tell each guy, if she doesn't want to marry you because of a ring, then don't marry her."

What he said got me thinking. I know a lot of couples now pick out their rings ahead of time, but doesn't that kind of lose the surprise element of the proposal? I mean, the act of proposal itself can be a surprise (like how is he going to do it? when?) but you already know it's coming because you saw him lay down his credit card. I have a couple of guy friends that decided to do a formal marriage proposal (with the whole crowds watching and everything), sans ring. They picked out a ring after the proposal. My e-ring and proposal was a complete surprise, which was great for me, but I am also not a jewelry person so I wouldn't have cared what my ring ultimately looked like (lucky for me, he did great!). For the girls who DO enjoy jewelry, do you want to pick out your ring before the proposal? Or do what my friends did and be surprised and then pick it out afterwards? Or do you want your guys to pick it out on their own, after getting hints on your taste and style?:smile1:
 
#2
My hubby let me pick out my ring. Which I'm glad he did because when he showed me what he had in mind it just wasn't my style at all. I just wanted a simple diamond band. Something that I would still like years from now.
 
#3
i think they should pick it out on their own, but only after you drop lots of hints on what you like. besides, if you don't like it you can always get another one or get the diamond reset or something.
 
#4
I would hate to be taken into the shop to get my ring...he should pick it out IMO. Even if its not something I would 100% love, it was something he took the time out to find that he thought I would love, and I'd love it because he loved it. I just think the guy should surprise the woman, I wouldn't want it any other way for me at least hehe :)
 
#5
i am very into the old fashioned get down on one knee proposal type. my SO knows what i like because we always drop by jewelry stores for other things and somehow i always end up oogling over the engagement rings. we both have similar classic tastes so i think he would do a good job. i would rather him buy it for me as a surprise because i hope during my proposal my breath will be taken away by the (good) shock of seeing my ring for the first time.
 
#7
SO had me choose my ring (a diamond/white gold art deco piece, 6 year anniversary!! not engagement, LOL), probably because of my extensive background in jewelry. He knows I am happiest with what I pick out, as I prefer antique art deco jewelry and I'm pretty picky about the styles of it that I like. Plus, SO doesn't know PRICING, and since I've been into jewelry for so long, I know what things should cost, and I would hate myself if he got ripped off. So I shopped around, found the one I wanted, he decided he liked it also, and he bought it for me. Doesn't make it any less special, it just makes sure we both get what we want :yes:

In terms of future engagement...not sure yet, that's a couple years off. I'll probably make him have my Dad help him choose it, because my Dad knows exactly what to get. If SO is smart, buttercup will buck up and go ask Daddy for help, and get over that mental image of my father sitting on the porch in a chair with a shot gun pointed at him after hearing the words "can I marry your daughter please?"
 
#10
We looked at e-rings beforehand and we settled on a few that we both liked. He didn't buy it in front of me and he didn't tell me which one he ended up buying so the engagement and the ring were a surprise yet I ended up with a ring that I loved.

I love my DH very much but he is not the best in picking out jewelry/gifts so I shudder to think what I would have ended up with. Not that I would have turned down his marriage proposal simply because I didn't like the ring. However I am the one wearing it and I have to live with the ring every day for the rest of my life so I might as well have a say in what it looks like. :yes:
 
#11
This is very much a "who is the top/who is the bottom" kind of debate. I think guys who want to be in charge of the relationship would most likely pick out the ring, but that's not the way every relationship functions.
 
#13
I told my husband what shape I liked, but he went to pick it out without me. I did not want to pick it out myself, I wanted it to come from him completely. I did have my diamond reset years later and I picked that out, but I could never trade in my original stone.
 
#14
I had NOTHING to do with my ring...I never mentioned a style preference, size, etc... Good thing...because had I had anything to do with it...it would have been much smaller!! My DH is a believer in all or nothing. Matter of fact..I probably would have tried to get something at a pawn shop...as I love a good second-hand bargain!!!
 
#15
My PHH picked out the ring. I didn't even know he was considering proposing. The other day, he picked up my hand and gestured toward my engagement ring and he said as soon as he looked at it, he fell in love with the ring and just had to have it. He spent his entire savings account. Would I have chosen this ring? Maybe, probably not, but I love it even more because he picked it out all by himself, and that he was so proud of his selection. I thought it was pretty cool that after nearly 20 years, it still elicited that type of emotions. JMO.
 
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