What would you say to this engagement ring?

[onegirlcreative]

i agree lily25, but she wasnt really happy from the start. i was there when he proposed and he put it in designer box and when he opened it...didnt go so good.

miss D, i suggested diamond stimulants in a good setting but even the setting would be over what he paid for the first one.
and shes just not happy with a non real diamond lol.
what about a big sale going on? lol

i know this may be a really odd suggestion, but have they considered shopping for engagement rings at local pawn shops? you'd be surprised with the deal you can get and believe me, you get a lot more bang for your buck than you would from a jewelry store.

i love buying jewelry from pawn shops simply because for me, it's a green way of life, and i have always been fascinated with pre-owned estate-type jewelry. and i love that you're not paying for the overhead of a traditional jewelry store, and once you take it to a local jeweler for polishing, it almost looks brand new.

to be honest, buying from a pawn shop is really not much more different than buying from an estate. but for some reason people think it's a horrible thing and a bad word. but for me, it's the smart way to shop for jewelry—especially when you're on a budget.

believe me, for $150-$300, he could get a lot better quality than what he ended up with.

overall, i hope your friend is happy and looks away from these horrible women who made catty comments at her shower. how awful.

My DH thinks diamonds are ridiculous and that jewelry is silly. Yet he still purchased a lovely diamond ring for me for my engagement and then upgraded on our fifth anniversary because it's what I wanted. Just sayin'.

yeah, i definitely agree. my husband is that type of man as well. he still thinks, after 2.5 years later, that my cartier love bracelet was a waste of money, but he knew it was something i had dreamed of and wanted since i lived in new york city in the late 80s, so he still purchased it for me. and yes, since i'm the one who picked out my engagement ring, that's what we ended up purchasing.

 

[onegirlcreative]

if it was up to me, i would rather have a cheap wedding than a cheap ring...what do you guys think?
i know a wedding is a memorable day but you only have pictures and memories months after. a sparkly ring is forever

yup, i completely agree with you on this one. i would much rather run to city hall and elope, and put that money towards a much nicer ring than like you said, she can wear for years and years and always have memories. they can always celebrate on their 5th wedding anniversary by maybe hosting a small, intimate party in lieu of a wedding. but that's me. jewelry is much more important than a wedding that only lasts for 5 hours.

also, i hadn't read through the entire thread when i posted my suggestion about buying a ring at a pawn shop. too bad your friend had it set in her mind to wear something designer, because in essence, you're paying for the name and for that $350 that you both spent on that ring, probably could have gotten a gorgeous gold e-ring at a pawn shop with a nice quality diamond.

but, to each their own. i wish her nothing but happiness.

p.s. you're a wonderful friend for doing this, even though she will most likely never find out about your generosity.

 

[Miss Chrisi]

onegirlcreative, ive never really shopped at a pawn shop. i have nothing against them but i dont make that many jewelry purchases for myself anyway. most of my friends and family are all about their designers. which i have nothing against either.

i dont think i would ever be happy eloping to city hall to get married but if it came down to either having a big wedding or a nice tiffany diamond, (my dream ring ) i would go for the diamond and just skip some flowers, decorations, etc. maybe even shorten the honeymoon. lol

 

[lily25]

yup, i completely agree with you on this one. i would much rather run to city hall and elope, and put that money towards a much nicer ring than like you said, she can wear for years and years and always have memories.
but, to each their own. i wish her nothing but happiness.

ITA I was never into weddings, I had to suffer mine, but I like nice bling. I'd definitely elope and buy a better ring.

But this does not work for everyone, because ppl value things differently depending on their experiences and mind sets. I wish them happiness and love!

 

[Contessa]

Must say all this talk about the ring and not much about what this man is like.

I'll give an example. My DH may not always lavish me with baubles at every occasion, but EVERYDAY he treats me like a Countess (this title I owe to his family heritage)

In any event, it's the little (big) things he does for me. The 'everyday' things.............and more! and is ALWAYS available at a moments notice when I need him- he will DROP EVERYTHING.

So while I may not be decked out in Harry Winston from head to toe on every occasion, I treasure him for HIM.....NOT what he buys me.

At the end of the day, your friend MAY be a very lucky woman....I don't know. What I can tell you is if this ring is such an issue at this point of the relationship she may be in trouble.

There's way more to life than rocks and metal.

 

[lily25]

I think her friend subconsciously compared her ring with the ring the EX wive received decades ago and she felt that she worth less than the EX, kwim? I'd be bummed too in a similar situation. It's the comparison that sucked. There are husbands that have never purchased a single piece of sterling silver to their wives, that doesn't make them bad.

There's way more to life than rocks and metal.

such wise words!

 

[Contessa]

I think her friend subconsciously compared her ring with the ring the EX wive received decades ago and she felt that she worth less than the EX, kwim?

I DO agree that the ring received should be something you LOVE......I know I look at my e-ring every single, bloody day! And it makes me happy when I do! I don't know how to describe it, but I'll bet that the women here know that exact same feeling.

The ring in my opinion is meaningless if there's nothing behind it. The reason Lily you said you'd marry your DH with a ring from a tin coke can is because of the sentiment attached to the MAN....not the ring! The ring is just an added bonus as far as I'm concerned!!!! The main present/package is THE MAN!!! And if I could wear him on my finger I would!!!!!!

 

[lily25]

Yep I agree with what you say.

 

[Stophle]

There's way more to life than rocks and metal.

I totally agree. I think most of us are being total women about this and I know, at least to me, it's not the ring, it's what the ring says about how he feels about you, you know?

I think that's why we're all hung up on it and trying to figure out what the deal with it was, at least that's why I was anyway. *LOL*

 

[Kitsunegrl]

Of course, the most important thing is sharing your love and knowing your man is your perfect match.
However, as many here can attest to, most men just do not care/understand about the need women have for jewelry. But even a MAN knows how important a ring is...especially if that is the only piece of jewelry he plans on buying. It seems like this one would have put more thought and care into the selection of something so important. This is not his first rodeo so it seems really odd that this is the route he chose.

 

[onegirlcreative]

ITA I was never into weddings, I had to suffer mine, but I like nice bling. I'd definitely elope and buy a better ring.

But this does not work for everyone, because ppl value things differently depending on their experiences and mind sets. I wish them happiness and love!

agreed. i had the large wedding with all of the fancy-schmancy amenities, and believe me, as much as we enjoyed it and appreciated my parents generosity for paying for it, i look back now and think wow, all that money spent on an evening that only lasted for 5 hours. to think what we could have done with that money (i believe my parents spent over $22,000 for the wedding, and this was 1994). omg, we could have traveled the world or used it towards a down payment on a really nice house. but instead, we chose the wedding.

i guess for me, looking back, i would have done it differently and a lot less lavish.

but like you said, everybody is different and of course, when you're engaged, that's all you can think about. i'm lucky that i ended up with my mother's e-ring last year that is a gorgeous ring that i wear everyday (3 carat pear), but even when we got engaged, we luckily didn't have to sacrifice my original e-ring because we didn't have to pay for our own wedding. i guess if the tables were turned and we had to pay for everything, believe me, the wedding would be the first to be cut from the list. i would rather have a small, intimate party with family and close friends, and the rabbi to officiate and call it a day.

but that's me.

At the end of the day, your friend MAY be a very lucky woman....I don't know. What I can tell you is if this ring is such an issue at this point of the relationship she may be in trouble.

There's way more to life than rocks and metal.

so true, contessa. obviously this doesn't apply to everybody, but i used to work with a girl years ago who married very well. i mean, VERY well. his famliy was loaded. her husband treated her like a queen and she had a huge, honking rock on her finger.

but then i find out after only 10 years of marriage and two kids later, he cheated on her and now she is single and currently 'rock-less.' apparently had a little too much fun while traveling on business all the time.

so you're right, it goes to show that regardless of the size of your ring, if you end up with a wonderful man with a generous and wonderful heart, that's all that matters.

 

[Miss Chrisi]

i agree with all of you.
people are different and have different priorities. some might want the wedding, and someone else might want the ring. and some are lucky to have all of those things including a husband that they love and will love them as well.
my first "love" was when i was in middle school lol, i was 13 years old. i was with this boy for all of my middle school years until he moved out of state after our graduation. he gave me a black hills gold heart necklace and ive treasured it since. its probably worth $60 since it was 10k and very small but the reason i LOVED it was because the person who gave it to me was priceless.
years later, i still keep it safe in my jewelry box and its one of my most loved pieces. what makes jewelry so great are the memories and meaning behind it.

they dont fight much, and they go well with each other. he does things to please her (maybe not material things), and he always cares about what mood shes in. when i see them together i feel happy for her because shes content. she doesnt stress a lot around him and shes calm.
im sure there are ups and downs in their relationship that i dont know about but from what she shares and i see, they seem like a lucky couple

i think the disappointment she got from the first ring was because it wasnt the one she planned it would be. i guess everyone has a picture in their head of everything planned out and most of the time thats not what it turns out to be.

 

[Stophle]

i think the disappointment she got from the first ring was because it wasnt the one she planned it would be. i guess everyone has a picture in their head of everything planned out and most of the time thats not what it turns out to be.

I SO know that's the truth.

When my fiance and I were having my ring made, all I'd seen were two very zoomed-in pictures in a catalogue. I had this idea in my head of how it was going to look and I was so excited. When it actually arrived and our jeweler set the stones into the setting, it looked nothing like the picture. It was much smaller and there was milgraining all over it, which was definitely not in the picture! I love milgraining, but I only wanted it in certain spots and having it around the outside of the halo severely softened the squared edges I wanted.

I was CRUSHED when the jeweler pulled it out and showed it to me. My fiance was standing there next to me, so proud of what he'd been able to get for me and so excited for me to try it on because he knew how excited I was about it and we'd been looking for so long...I wanted to cry.

Thankfully, the jeweler could see it in my face that something wasn't right and we were able to figure out how to fix the issues with it. Once I'd seen it in person and lost that perfect image I'd had in my head, I was able to return later and see the ring for what it was, a beautiful piece that my fiance and I picked out, that I adore and stare at everyday.

 

[honeyspice]

Miss Chrisi, it's very nice of you do that for your best friend.

I can understand why she is upset, especially too when she doesn't like the style of the ring. When her ring got all those nasty comments at her engagement party, I'm guessing she felt her fiance is being insulted. Those nasty comments can translate to "your fiance cannot afford to buy you a real diamond ring". I'm guessing that is why she is upset? It sounds like she loves her fiance very much. I'm sure she will love the ring she picks, even if it costs as much as the Target diamond ring.

The Tiffany ring that you've picked is very lovely!!! I don't know if they were planning to upgrade the ring anytime soon, but just so you know the mesh ring is not suitable for resizing or adding sizing beads. I found that out when I took my mesh ring to Tiffany to make it smaller after I lost some weight. If they are going to upgrade the ring in a few years, then that won't be an issue.

All the best to your best friend & her fiance.

 

[Miss Chrisi]

honeyspice, im sure they would upgrade eventually. those rings tend not to last too long especially for everyday wear.

Thank you for your nice comment