Vintage Coach at Barney's

[momtok]

[emoji33] [emoji47] [emoji40]
View attachment 3298707

Yep, that's the rear view (snicker) of the $395 selection I was referring to.

I see .... pornography.
I see .... an alien face.
I see .... something Urkel would wear.

And I honestly wonder how they got her bottom large enough to "fill it out" so much for the picture. (Of course, she still does not fill it out enough to prevent the pornography, but relatively speaking.)

Seriously, I'm genuinely asking ... how *did* they get her bottom big enough to fill it out as much as it does? Believe me, I'm the last person to do any body-shaming, and I mean absolutely no offense to anyone. Based on the legs she's obviously a very trim model. So how is there such a marked difference between thighs and bottom? Padding? Photoshop? (God help me, it's not one of those Kardashian people, is it?)

 

[Hyacinth]

Yep, that's the rear view (snicker) of the $395 selection I was referring to.

I see .... pornography.
I see .... an alien face.
I see .... something Urkel would wear.

And I honestly wonder how they got her bottom large enough to "fill it out" so much for the picture. (Of course, she still does not fill it out enough to prevent the pornography, but relatively speaking.)

Seriously, I'm genuinely asking ... how *did* they get her bottom big enough to fill it out as much as it does? Believe me, I'm the last person to do any body-shaming, and I mean absolutely no offense to anyone. Based on the legs she's obviously a very trim model. So how is there such a marked difference between thighs and bottom? Padding? Photoshop? (God help me, it's not one of those Kardashian people, is it?)

I think you may have found the answer!

NLST olive twill harem cargo pants cut with slim legs.


* Belt loops, two angled front pockets, button-through flap cargo pockets, button-through back pockets
* 15" rise, 26" inseam, 11" leg opening (approximately)

Crikey, if the model is 5'10", it's hard to even imagine what those would look like on my 5'1" body, and my regular inseam length is 26 inches! - the blasted rise would be down around my knees. Since when did the "I have a full diaper that needs changing NOW" look become fashionable?


Ooooo, wait! I think I found the intended market for those:

https://consumerist.com/2016/03/09/police-iga-seek-man-who-stuffed-200-worth-of-ribeyes-down-pants/

https://consumerist.com/2016/01/05/...t-shoves-steak-down-pants-beer-cans-up-shirt/

https://consumerist.com/2015/08/20/...ing-meat-down-pants-is-not-close-to-stopping/

Apparently stuffing meat down one's pants is the new national pastime according to Consumerist.com

http://www.google.com/search?q=cons......1ac.1.34.heirloom-serp..11.0.0.3ry5xTmvX2c

This one is a bit more disturbing...

https://consumerist.com/2016/01/11/man-caught-on-camera-in-pet-store-shoving-python-down-pants/

And those nice big cargo pockets are perfect for holding cans or bottles of beer. Should we just call them Shoplifters' Pants?

 

[oldbaglover]

[/B]

I think you may have found the answer!

NLST olive twill harem cargo pants cut with slim legs.


* Belt loops, two angled front pockets, button-through flap cargo pockets, button-through back pockets
* 15" rise, 26" inseam, 11" leg opening (approximately)

Crikey, if the model is 5'10", it's hard to even imagine what those would look like on my 5'1" body, and my regular inseam length is 26 inches! - the blasted rise would be down around my knees. Since when did the "I have a full diaper that needs changing NOW" look become fashionable?


Ooooo, wait! I think I found the intended market for those:

https://consumerist.com/2016/03/09/police-iga-seek-man-who-stuffed-200-worth-of-ribeyes-down-pants/

https://consumerist.com/2016/01/05/...t-shoves-steak-down-pants-beer-cans-up-shirt/

https://consumerist.com/2015/08/20/...ing-meat-down-pants-is-not-close-to-stopping/

Apparently stuffing meat down one's pants is the new national pastime according to Consumerist.com

http://www.google.com/search?q=cons......1ac.1.34.heirloom-serp..11.0.0.3ry5xTmvX2c

This one is a bit more disturbing...

https://consumerist.com/2016/01/11/man-caught-on-camera-in-pet-store-shoving-python-down-pants/

And those nice big cargo pockets are perfect for holding cans or bottles of beer. Should we just call them Shoplifters' Pants?

What if that python got hungry? I doubt if the guy thought of that!

 

[mrskolar09]

God help us all, there's a jumpsuit too!

 

[Hyacinth]

What if that python got hungry? I doubt if the guy thought of that!

Pythons are constrictors, so even if a small (VERY small!) part of him was hoping for a squeeze, the party would soon be over. Pythons also have extremely sharp teeth to get a hold on their squeezed-to-death prey so they can start swallowing it.

That guy is on his way to being a prime candidate for the Darwin Awards.

 

[Hyacinth]

God help us all, there's a jumpsuit too!

And here are more lovely pairs of Shoplifter Pants, with a drawstring in case a zippered fly slows you down too much while stuffing all those steaks and beers down your trews - check out the back view:

http://www.barneys.com/Ulla-Johnson-Drop-Rise-Army-Pants-504038818.html

http://www.barneys.com/Ulla-Johnson-Drop-Rise-Cargo-Pants-504427311.html


They should come with pink embroidery across the back that says "Does this make my butt look big?"

I thought that the purpose of fashion was to make you look attractive and interesting. In this case I think we'd have to put "interesting" in quotation marks, like the Chinese curse that says "May you live in interesting times".

Coco Chanel must be spinning like an F5 tornado right about now.

 

[stardustgirl]

They should come with pink embroidery across the back that says "Does this make my butt look big?"

Do NOT give them any ideas! It's obvious they'll try out all kinds of combinations that really shouldn't be tried. When I saw cargo + harem being used at the same time to describe pants, I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that saw these as saggy diaper pants. I had no idea meat-stuffing was A Thing. When someone mentions meat and fashion at the same time I think of Lady Gaga's dress.